People who live here in NYC are funny sometimes. Well, I should correct myself and say that “couples” who live in NYC are funny at times. Not that I neccessarily see their hijinks as humorous, but it’s when I see their public breakups as hysterical if not cringe inducing!
I must have viewed these public performances at least three times this past week. One on a street corner coming home from work. One on the sidewalk near the park on my way to the gym. The best of all? On the subway while heading to work! That last one was brutally epic. Especially when she told the dude he was lame in bed and the other chick he was seeing can have him. I could not help but snicker out loud at that one! Hey, I’m a NY’er. I get a good laugh when I see people walk into things, trip on the imaginary crack in the sidewalk, or step into that nasty puddle of mystery fluid at the street corner and drench their shoes and socks in it. Yes, I do have a bit of a warped sense of humor at times.
Going back to those breakup couples. I just don’t get why people feel the need to do this in public? When I saw that couple on the way to the gym they were surrounded by people sitting on benches close by, parents with their kids, and people strolling by. Heck, I even stopped close by to check out my imaginary phone text just to eavesdrop a bit. I couldn’t help myself. This was too juicy to pass up. She was looking at him with eyes of anger that would burn through his soul, and he was stammering on with a look of disdain on his face. Oh yeah, he was getting in deep with every stupid thing that came out of his mouth. It was glorious to watch and listen to! From what I could decipher he was blaming her for being bored and for the mistakes he made. He acted like his wandering eye, and penis, was her fault because of how she wasn’t keeping up with her end of the relationship. Then he said something like “well, you sucked at this and that, blah, blah….” and then she went ballistic on him! The ear piercing screams that came out of her were nerve shattering. It was at that point when I became kind of scared for him, while also fearing for my life and anyone close by. You could see everyone quickly move away from the area – ground zero – where this bomb just went off. Time to scurry along and get my ass in the gym, nothing more to see here other than an impending train wreck!
You can always tell when a couple is imploding in public. That look of disgust on the girl’s face that says “I hate your guts”. The wimpishly way the guy keeps looking down or away while trying to talk his way out of it. The tears and sobbing. The blabbering on with reasoning of why this is happening. The occassional curse words. Yelling. Maybe a face slap (saw that once). One person stomping off. I guess it’s better than just breaking up with someone over a text message or email, but it’s hard to watch as a public exhibition. It’s like an accident that you need to look at. I also find it kind of funny. It’s just me – can’t help it! If they are going to do this in public I am going to laugh.
It’s just amazing how often I see it happening. I just seem to stumble upon these instances. I see it happen a lot right after the holiday season. I think couples hang on so as to not ruin Christmas or New Years, then drop the bomb a week or two later. I also see it happening a lot when spring hits and the summer season approaches. People feel the need to be single in the summer to explore their options, and just basically hook up, so they bail on their relationships. Yet, some want to remain friends and most times that goes down in the flames of jealously and anger. So many times over the years living here I have seen this, and normally the guys get dressed down in plain sight. Geez, you would think these guys would get a clue and avoid the public humiliation of a breakup for all to observe.
As for the subway breakup? Too bad I had to quickly get off as my stop was approaching. I would have loved to eaten my bag of popcorn while watching the rest of that snuff film!
So, how many breakups have you observed in public? Have you been in one? It’s quite a sight, right?