NYC Public Breakups! Humiliation! Comedy! Despair!

29204128People who live here in NYC are funny sometimes. Well, I should correct myself and say that “couples” who live in NYC are funny at times. Not that I neccessarily see their hijinks as humorous, but it’s when I see their public breakups as hysterical if not cringe inducing!

I must have viewed these public performances at least three times this past week. One on a street corner coming home from work. One on the sidewalk near the park on my way to the gym. The best of all? On the subway while heading to work! That last one was brutally epic. Especially when she told the dude he was lame in bed and the other chick he was seeing can have him. I could not help but snicker out loud at that one! Hey, I’m a NY’er. I get a good laugh when I see people walk into things, trip on the imaginary crack in the sidewalk, or step into that nasty puddle of mystery fluid at the street corner and drench their shoes and socks in it. Yes, I do have a bit of a warped sense of humor at times.

couple-cartoon-arguingGoing back to those breakup couples. I just don’t get why people feel the need to do this in public? When I saw that couple on the way to the gym they were surrounded by people sitting on benches close by, parents with their kids, and people strolling by. Heck, I even stopped close by to check out my imaginary phone text just to eavesdrop a bit. I couldn’t help myself. This was too juicy to pass up. She was looking at him with eyes of anger that would burn through his soul, and he was stammering on with a look of disdain on his face. Oh yeah, he was getting in deep with every stupid thing that came out of his mouth. It was glorious to watch and listen to! From what I could decipher he was blaming her for being bored and for the mistakes he made. He acted like his wandering eye, and penis, was her fault because of how she wasn’t keeping up with her end of the relationship. Then he said something like “well, you sucked at this and that, blah, blah….” and then she went ballisticwoman-slapping-man12 on him! The ear piercing screams that came out of her were nerve shattering. It was at that point when I became kind of scared for him, while also fearing for my life and anyone close by. You could see everyone quickly move away from the area – ground zero – where this bomb just went off. Time to scurry along and get my ass in the gym, nothing more to see here other than an impending train wreck!

tumblr_m5ofklZkjx1qkz5t6o1_500You can always tell when a couple is imploding in public. That look of disgust on the girl’s face that says “I hate your guts”. The wimpishly way the guy keeps looking down or away while trying to talk his way out of it. The tears and sobbing. The blabbering on with reasoning of why this is happening. The occassional curse words. Yelling. Maybe a face slap (saw that once). One person stomping off. I guess it’s better than just breaking up with someone over a text message or email, but it’s hard to watch as a public exhibition. It’s like an accident that you need to look at. I also find it kind of funny. It’s just me – can’t help it! If they are going to do this in public I am going to laugh.

17245005It’s just amazing how often I see it happening. I just seem to stumble upon these instances. I see it happen a lot right after the holiday season. I think couples hang on so as to not ruin Christmas or New Years, then drop the bomb a week or two later. I also see it happening a lot when spring hits and the summer season approaches. People feel the need to be single in the summer to explore their options, and just basically hook up, so they bail on their relationships. Yet, some want to remain friends and most times that goes down in the flames of jealously and anger. So many times over the years living here I have seen this, and normally the guys get dressed down in plain sight. Geez, you would think these guys would get a clue and avoid the public humiliation of a breakup for all to observe.


As for the subway breakup? Too bad I had to quickly get off as my stop was approaching. I would have loved to eaten my bag of popcorn while watching the rest of that snuff film!



So, how many breakups have you observed in public? Have you been in one? It’s quite a sight, right?



31 thoughts on “NYC Public Breakups! Humiliation! Comedy! Despair!”

  1. gah, Washington Square Park will always be the break up park for me. I experienced 3 breakups there (the same guy) in my late teens/early adult years. After that, i did all the breaking up. Private. and polite. But that first guy? it was always explosive attitudes and sobbing tears.
    Growing up feels nice. You learn a lot. Looking back, the OLD me knew nothing. And if the tantrums i threw went my way, i would be SO MISERABLE today.

    1. I guess three times was a charm! 3 times???? With the same guy? At least you figured out he wasn’t the one! 🙂

      Yes, with age comes relationship experience. We all learn a lot from our youthful crazy dating days. Some of us are still learning.

      Heck, the couple I saw on the way to the gym I wrote about had to be in late 30’s or so! Scary stuff. They need a few lessons. Thanks for reading and the feedback.

  2. I must not be as observant as you are! I can’t think of a public breakup that I’ve seen.

    Actually, I love to observe first dates, especially blind dates, which are also awkward and hilarious. The other day I texted my friend every detail as I eavesdropped on the blind date at the next table at Starbucks. All character study for my future sitcom, or that’s how I like to justify my spying.

    1. Hi Jill. Happy Friday!

      LOL – we do the same thing when 1st dates or blind dates are sitting close to us. Love watching the awkwardness of it all! We take bets to see if they will make it to second base, but alas there is no way to tell after they leave!

  3. Ugh, I know! I was texting “I hope they get married so I can say I was there at the start.” …but I will never know :\

    Making up back-stories for them is fun though.
    Happy weekend!

  4. I would hate a public break up to have ever happened to me. I always respect the other person and seek to do it in private and with courteously. Well as much as I can.

    Emotions run away though with people and in the spur of the moment you never quite know how people will react. You may try to control your emotions but you have absolutely no control on the other persons.

    That is another very interesting post Phil. Three break ups in a week! Wow, that is bound to have a negative effect on condom sales in NYC!

    1. Hey Guy! Hey, I see it all the time here. Some people just can’t handle their affairs in private. I guess some feel safety to do it in full view of the public. I just laugh and call them idiots!

      True, that with emotions you never know how they will react. Do this in private. Condom sales might go up if these people go out for revenge boinking!

      Thanks for reading and the comment!

  5. I love public break ups. I feel it you are silly enough to put your business out there, it is live drama that I should take in. When I was in college, my roommate would acted out a breakup drama before every break. And back in the day, I am sure that I did it a few times myself. I always find it funny what people will say when they have an audience. When I was home last summer, this couple was having an argument and breaking up at the Washington Harbor. He insults her weave and you know you never insult a sista’s weave. As she walks away she turns around and say “screwing you is like watching paint dry” so funny and I am sure he will have a complex for a while. That was a brillant comeback.

    1. Hi Cynthia,

      Yes, it is a live drama that can’t be missed. Pass the popcorn!

      Oh snap, that dude went there? Surprised he survived with his penis intact! Stupid, brave, or both.

      Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!

  6. Oddly enough, though I’ve witnessed a few, I have never been on the receiving end of a public break up. Of course that may have to do with the fact that I rarely lose my temper, but when I do it’s scary & I become an all out b**** with a sharp tongue that can cut like a double edged sword. I’m also still friends with most of my exes.

    (And thanks for checking up on me on Twitter…WP finally fixed my suspension. Apparently they made some error, and I’m back on!)

    1. Hi Kitt!

      Good to see wordpress fixed you up and you are back. Wow, remind me to never get in a public fight with you!

      Eh, I’m not a fan of staying friends with ex’s. Most guys I know who do that and have been friend-zoned are wimpy and are secretly pining inside to one day get back together with them. I thinks it’s a guy/girl thing of opinion. Most girls see it as ok to be friends still, while most guys I know move on and don’t see it as that easy to do. Hey, if it works for you then great – more power to ya!

      Thanks for reading! Have a great weekend.

      1. I completely get where you’re coming from about guys who are friend zoned post break up. I think part of the reason it’s never been much of an issue for me is that most of my exes knew I wasn’t that serious…and I didn’t usually allow them to get that serious, either. (I was a bit of a player in my younger years and make no apologies for it.) Add the fact that I’m a total tomboy about sports & tend to think more like a “guy” than the typical girlie girl…they kind of liked having me around for advice and insight minus the drama.

        As for the public fight…rarely do I allow myself to indulge in allowing someone the power to get that kind of loud, obnoxious reaction. I go more icy cold than fiery hot & it really takes some pretty major things to get me there…and I am nice enough to warn someone before I get my cray cray on. 😀

    1. I just don’t believe in it. Move on, just like reading a book. You don’t go back and keep reading the same chapters!

      Plus, I think that guys who hang on to their ex’s as friends are still secretly wishing they get back together one day, even though they have been friend-zoned. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t want to be buddies with my ex and knowing they are now banging some other dude!

      1. I am kinda like that as well. I don’t need to be friends with you. I have a couple of people who are friend’s with the ex’s and every once in a while, you get the call about the shoulda coulda. I am not friends with any of my ex’s. When I am done, I am done, I like to move on to the new and leave the past where it belongs.

  7. This was such an excellent article. So much drama seems to be going around when people break up, that’s for sure. Ha,ha, thanks for the laughs. 🙂

    1. Hey Tracy!

      I think that might be true considering the size of our apartments! 🙂

      You live up by me so I am sure you have seen a few of these public implosions at times!

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

    1. Hello Ellery!

      Thanks for dropping by. I try to mix it up and write about a variety of topics mainly about my life in NYC, views, and crazy opinions. Hope you follow.

Feel free to comment! We all have opinions!