Mr Sandman must hate New Yorkers

rod-smart-he-hate-me-nflMr Sandman. He hate me.

I seem to have a love/hate relationship with Mr Sandman lately. I love sleep, but I think he hates me. Recently, I have been trying to go to bed a bit earlier just to get some extra shut eye. Of course, now when I do that I can’t fall alseep right away. Like many of us I have developed a bad habit of watching tv until 2 or 3am and falling asleep on the couch. That’s ok for my fiancee’ Stacey as she claims I snore so loud she is one night going to kill me in my sleep. She goes to bed first and gets to sleep for a few hours before I come in and unleash all Hell upon her with my sounds of sleep ecstasy. I really don’t believe her, as how come I never hear it? I think she is hallucinating. If she reads this post I think she will put a pillow over my snoring face and send me to sleep with the fishes.

Cant-Sleep-Dont-worry-me-neither-scary-face-meme-skeleton-memeNow, going back to Mr Sandman. This dude normally was my bro. My wing man. My consigliare. He had my back all these years. I was the type to fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Now, it seems like he is playing with me. I’ll fall asleep on the couch and then stumble over to bed to resume sleep and then lay there with a million thoughts running through my mind. “Did I lock the door?” “The project at work tomorrow is due.” “Is the coffee
machine off.” “Why does that fish lipped chick from Mob Wives look and sound like a guy?” “When will they finally kill off annoying Andrea on The Walking Dead?” “I like pie.” When I finally drift away to sleep it is normally awoken by one of a few things. The alarm clock is usually the most prevalent. Yes, that annoying thing called employment does get in the way of sleep. Or more of it. It’s a neccessary evil as it’s needed to pay the bills.


Then, there are the other things many of us deal with as part of New York City apartment living that also adds to lack of sleep. Namely, the neighbors who reside amongst us. Whether they are over us, beside us, under us, or across the way from us there are times when we all wish we really could go beat the snot out of them.


Some of the sleep destroyers we deal with on a daily basis when trying to get a few zzz’s –


The people above us for some reason like to rearrange their furniture at 2am. WTF? Stop dragging your couch across the floor!

The couple across the way that has to fight and argue in the wee hours of the morning. Idiots! Go argue and break up where most New Yorkers do it – out on a street corner!

The dude who lives below us and hacks and coughs up loogies every morning at 6am. I wish this guy would close his damn window. It’s worse than an alarm clock. Eat a lozenge!

insanity-wolf-cant-sleepThe dude who has to start hanging pictures at 3am. Really? If you don’t stop hammering the wall I am going to hammer your head!

The a-hole whe comes home and cooks liver at 2am. Ugh! That shizz smells nasty and now its wafted into our apartment. Get the Febreeze out!

The moron below us who blasts bad rap music as his alarm. Seriously, he has it set to his stereo and the speakers are set to maximum. Every freaking morning we have to hear this, and sometimes on weekends. Kill me.

The group of 20-somethings who live near us that come home drunk at 3am and decide to cook and throw every pot and pan around. One day they will get a pan upside the head!

Then there is the douchenozzle across the hall that has to slam their door shut multiple times so hard that our walls shake. Every day. All day long. Can I slam your noggin with that door?

sleep_apneaI guess it’s the price to pay to live in a relatively confined space with millions of people. Some are more respectful of others. I’ll admit I am no church mouse, and have come home late at times being a bit tipsy and rowdy myself, but I try to be a bit quiet and considerate late at night. I am told I snore louder on nights like those too. Should I actually start fearing for my life?


Sleep deprivation is something that has actually become a big problem in this country. From reports I have read it seems many of us do not get enough of it. What keeps you up at night? Does Mr Sandman hate you too?




Thank God for coffee!

39 thoughts on “Mr Sandman must hate New Yorkers”

  1. Oh Filbio, I’m a great non-sleeper but not through choice. I feel you man, and you’ve hit on all my pet hates. I use to have a neighbour that was slightly deaf and whenever she came home or went out she use to bang her front-door every time without fail. Every weekend was a nightmare with constant banging whilst I was trying to get to sleep. I felt like getting a loud speaker and telling her all about it.

    Oh the smells of some foods are unbelievable. Have you smelt something called ‘bombay duck’? It’s a fish, and man, you will hit the floor running if you smelt this at any time of the day or night. It’s gut wrenching. And I love my food but can’t understand how someone could cook something that smelt so putrefying.

    I must admit that some of those neighbour arguments are exciting, as you get to know all the finer details of what goes on behind closed doors. I try not to listen but they just shout too loud and what can I do?

    As for the snoring, you’ve been warned by a woman. Don’t mess with her sleep or you’ll be very sorry mate. ha ha ha ha.

    1. Hi Rum Punch!

      That fish sounds horrid! I can’t eat anything that smells like death!

      I think many of us have had neighbors from hell that annoy us! Plus, those loud sex sessions too!

      Yeah, I sleep in fear now! Thanks for reading and commenting!

  2. I feel your pain. And your fiancee’s pain, as some nights I have wondered if I can smother my fiance with a pillow to the point of deeper/passed out sleep right before he stops breathing. I haven’t actually done it yet, but have wanted to. She’s a strong woman for not smothering you yet 🙂

    Have you ever tried melatonin? Works for me–my mom is an insomniac and I have it too, as I stay up till 2-4am, regardless of my morning wake up call. Also, all those stupid little things you think about I sometimes write down and it tricks my brain into stopping the loop. Maybe that could help. Unless it’s stuff like the coffeemaker.. you’re probably going to have to get up and just check that.

    Also “I like pie” make me laugh out loud. Hehe. Sweet dreams!

    1. Hey Jean!

      Thanks for reading! Yeah, sometimes I go to bed with one eye open for fear of my life!

      I am like you as I stay up late no matter if I have to get up early for work. I’m kind of a night owl too.

      Now I want some pie! 🙂

  3. I have never laughed so hard in my life. I love this post! You should write a book. I sleep eat in the middle of the night. When I first got married my hubby told me I will wake up and eat something. I didn’t belive him until my mother told me I have been doing it since I was little. I do it when I’m stressed out. Maybe you should get those breathe right strips to help you at night. Good luck to you both.

    1. Hey Patricia!

      Ha! My fiancee’ tells me she is going to forcibly put those breathe right strips on me!

      Are you walking and eating in your sleep? Wow. Hope it’s pizza or fried chicken!

      So glad you liked my post and got a laugh. 🙂

      1. lol by force is the only way.It’s all food and yes I’m sleeping when I come to make a meal Pizza is one of my favorites. My hubby says he is going to tape it so I can see it.

  4. KA-SNORT!

    Erm. Sorry. A bit reminiscent of the hacker from a floor below you, isn’t it?

    Hooray to Jenny Hansen for the Hop Op.

    The logical meandering whack-a-doodle train of thoughts you described while trying to sleep was hysterical. Can I steal it? No? Curses.

    Good thing you didn’t ask for my geographical location for replies, because I am still one of those lucky people who falls asleep when my head hits the pillow. And, getting back to sleep if I waken during the night? Easy-peasy, and — no — I don’t care to share what tricks I might turn use to achieve that state of bliss.

    1. Hi Gloria!

      Thanks so much for dropping by my blog and commenting!

      Yeah, Jenny throws a good party. So glad to meet you. I was honored that she featured me on her blog.

      HA – that is what that guy sounds like below us! You can steal my train of thoughts anytime. Also, hey, not fair! What trick do you use to fall back to sleep? Is it legal? 🙂

  5. This was hilarious! My dog & husband snore and are very lucky to still be with us. It’s funny how I also get accused of “hallucinating” …. interesting. Hope the Sandman stops by tonight for ya!

  6. You’re so funny, after reading this, it helps me to appreciate living in a condo where it’s quiet. There’s woods behind here, so hardly any noise. The only problem here is the walls are hollow. And whenever my neighbors decide to start hammering, it’s loud, and I hate having to listen to the bang bang bang at night. Gives me headaches. Thank god this only happens once a week and not everyday.

    1. Hey Susana!

      Wow -it must be dead silent out there! That would keep me up even more. What are they hammering late at night? Sure it’s not the bedboard banging against the wall? 🙂

  7. Yeah we all know Mr Sandman really well. Sleep eludes us all on a regular basis. For me it is usually when I am unusually stressed. Nowadays that is most of the time. Reading helps tremendously, especially if I read trash. A story that I don’t need to think about or concentrate in.

    1. Hi Lanthie,

      I usually need the tv on low volume to fall asleep but am trying to just go to bed without it. Stress messes everyone up for sure. You need to relax I guess.

  8. Moving furniture at 2 a.m. above you. Get the broom and whack the ceiling. LOL! Cooking liver at 2 a.m. It must be a conspiracy. Don’t say that about Andrea. I’m still hoping that she filets the Governor in the middle of the night.

    I hope by the time I write this comment you are snoring on the couch. Really, I have trouble getting to be, a transition problem of some sort. When my husband and I lived in the City, the guy in the apartment above us walk around in boots at 5 a.m. every morning.

    1. Hey Lauren!

      I’d like to see both Andrea and the Gov get eaten by zombies! Or have Michonne fillet them both!

      City living has it’s advantages, but not when we have noisy neighbors slamming doors and being loud all night long! Still, when I visit family in the burbs it’s actually too quiet to sleep!

  9. it sucks when you need sleep and you can’t get it… even in a house I have my distractions – my kids, the dog, and even sometimes my wife. She complains when i leave the light on to read, but she can read all night long or check e-mail on the iPad! Arrrgggg. Though, I got a good night’s sleep last night, I know there will be tonight and the night after when I don’t -hang in there.

    1. Hey Clay!

      Oh, I hear ya! Last night was a good one. Tonight when I need sleep for work tomorrow a thousand things will be running through my mind as soon as I hit the pillow!

  10. Until Recently, Mr. Sandman detested me. Now, I always have a drink (Heavy on the alcohol) before bed and I take a Melatonin capsule. I sleep through just about everything. Give it a try and get some sleep 🙂

  11. I know the feeling Phil. From time to time I suffer bouts of insomnia and it is not good. I’m doing pretty well at the moment.

    Maybe you need to play Faithless’ “Insomnia” to what sound like deadbeat neighbours. I spent about a month in a condo in Atlanta and was driven to distraction by the outrageous thudding sounds from the people in the apartment above.

    My fiancee can relate to yours on their partner snoring. Maybe if she records it then you’ll find out how bad it really is.

    1. Hey Guy!

      I actually slept good last night. Still, woke up about 6 and tossed for a bit and got up. If she records it I am afraid of what I will hear!

  12. Most of the time the sand man loves me. Even if I go to bed super late he lets me sleep in a little bit. A couple weeks ago, though, I got hit with insomnia that lasted about a week. Mine is usually stress induced.

      1. LOL! Watching me try to down liquid Nyquil is not pretty and the pills don’t quite pack the same punch. As for the bottle of wine…I might have had to hit up the harder stuff. (In fact, I have an unopened bottle of Crown I should probably “let breathe”.)

        Meant to say…cracked up at the pic of “He Hate Me”. I actually saw him play back when the WWE started that league in Orlando (The Rage). Never saw so many women flash their tatas…but then I’ve never been to Mardi Gras. Oh, and there was a chick fight that broke out next to me. THAT was a hilarious night.

        1. Pills? I just drink it right out of the bottle! That stuff puts me in a coma.

          I nused to love the WWE Footall League. It was fun. Not like the NFL – No Fun League – with all the stupid rules they have now. It will be a touch football league soon.

          Chick fights are fun to watch! Especially when clothes get ripped off. 😉

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