Life can be cruel when you can’t view your penis anymore!


Celebrating another successful 5K race finish! Lean and mean. With a brunch cocktail of course.

Life can be cruel when you can’t view your penis anymore!

Yeah, I have been kind of absent from the blogiverse lately as I have been focused on getting my bloated man-ass back in shape. I had a bit of a wake up call not too long ago that made me realize I needed to embark on a drastic call to action. Well, it was a few things actually. One – when I had to go out and purchase 40 inch waist jeans (yeah, that was demoralizing). Two – when it was becoming uncomfortable to even bend over and pick up my keys when I dropped them (nothing like a fat belly mocking me). Three – when I looked down and realized I could not see my penis ( Oh Hellz No!).  You would think a missing penis would send up a red flag or something. Alert! Alert! Danger! Danger Will Robinson!

Yet, that was not the breaking point.

For a guy who always prided himself on his strength, fitness, and youthful outlook on life I would know better, right? Be more self-aware of what I was doing to my body. I had gained way too much weight, become sluggish, and fairly unhealthy. As a former personal trainer with years of past experience, and constant gym member I was ignoring the blatant signs that my body was signalling to me. Maybe the final straw was participating in the Cupid’s Undie Run on Valentine’s Day weekend and seeing how bad I really looked in pictures taken that afternoon. Sure, I had a blast with a great group of friends, and also drank a lot that day before and after the run as it was for a terrific charity cause, but those pictures were damning.

Hello Mr Fat Ass! Not my finest moment. Even though it was for a good cause.

Maybe I stubbornly ignored the telltale signs, as I labored a bit to complete the running part, and refused to acknowledge how I really looked in the mirror and in those pics. The baseball bat that hit me in the head was when I emailed some of the pictures to my parents, and my dad’s first reaction to me when he called was –

“Hey son, we just saw your pictures. Damn, it looks like you gained some weight. You look chubby in those pics. What happened?”

OUCH! There is nothing worse than when your parents come right out and say it. They can be our harshest critics. We all want our parent’s approval no matter how old we get, as we will always feel as if we are their little kids who don’t want to let them down. On top of this, I felt as if I let my gal down too, who has been through a long recovery from major neck surgery and had gained weight due to all the steroids and drugs she has been on over the past bunch of years. I felt like a failure. I had failed those around me. I had failed myself.

The breaking point had arrived.

Eating clean with self prepared meals. Like a boss.

I could have went one way or another at that point as many people do when facing a crossroads in life. I could have just accepted the way things were (as most people will often do), or fight back. Make a major life altering decision that changes everything. I know that when I put my mind to something and dedicate myself to a cause I have never given up. What I had become was not who I wanted to be moving forward. I was going to be damned if I had to live an unhealthy life of big man’s fat jeans, high blood pressure and cholesterol, looking older beyond my years, feeling like crap, and never seeing my penis again when looking down. It was time I chose to fight back.

On February 16, 2016 I made the decision to stop eating all red meats, processed foods, junk foods, fried crap, and anything else deemed detrimental to my health. My diet would become high nutrition based – seafood, fresh veggies, salads, fruits, low carb, etc. Not even chicken. Basically a pescatarian diet. More water of course. My gal was on board with this too even though she hates most seafood. I taught myself how to prepare and cook tasty fish meals, and now even surprisingly she enjoys them. I also ramped up the weight training sessions, and added in much more cardio with plenty of outdoors running. 5K runs have become the norm, and now I even compete in actual races earning some cool hardware along the way.

Earning that hardware and staying fit!

Phil 2.0 is now in full swing. There is no turning back.

The fruits of our labor had become evident as when we stepped on the scale recently I had lost 20 pounds, and my gal lost 12.5 pounds! Total combined loss of over 32 pounds so far! Now considering she is also not cleared to exercise yet this is great progress so far. We only go out once a week as a “cheat meal date” to keep our sanity and it seems to be working. Be bad for that one day then get right back on our horse the next. Our plan is solid and we need to stick with it for the long-term. Failure is not an option. Plus, at our age now staying at optimal health is a must as neither of us want to be looked at as the “old couple” since we do still like to go out, party, and be active. I see way too many people in their 30’s and 40’s who look way older than they are, and have settled into a sedentary unfit lifestyle. They make all kinds of excuses. Life is too short, and we all only go around once, so why not make the best of it with a healthy body and mind? I now refuse to be the old fat dude that rues his life decisions but feels it’s too late to make a change. I already look and feel better. More fit and full of energy. It’s an amazing feeling. Not stopping now.


The only bad thing that has come out of this so far is that we will need to go clothes shopping soon as our pants have become loose and baggy. I’ll need new suits and blazers for work, and an overall wardrobe upgrade. I was due to buy new clothes anyway. Just hated the thought of going shopping and being unhappy knowing I had to purchase larger shirts and pants that didn’t fit right or feel good on me. My vanity, and ego, had taken a beating. Now I’m feeling more confident and empowered. Oh well, there goes the credit cards, but at least we’ll be spending the cash knowing that it’s a reward for the success of our hard work and dedication. Now picking up a few items and trying them on in the dressing room won’t be a miserable ordeal! With Summer coming in a few months we want to be ready to enjoy it.

As the saying goes  – “Living well is the best revenge”.  Yes, it surely is. Especially when I can now see my penis. Hello there big guy! I missed you!

34 thoughts on “Life can be cruel when you can’t view your penis anymore!”

    1. Hey Kristy!

      Thanks darlin’! It’s always a plus when your friends have your back. You know how much I like to drink and party. Now let’s get ready to let loose a bit for summer!

  1. Wow, that’s quite a turnaround! Well done! Gotta love the brutal honesty from your parents:) That home-cooked salmon dish looks like something you get on a nice restaurant.

    1. Hey Mitzie!

      Thanks! I have become quite the little cook! Sometimes we all need to pay attention to what our parents say. Even if it is brutal!

  2. Well this title surely caught my attention! This a brave and honest accounting of your journey towards better health and more nutritious eating. Well done! Really congrats on your results and stunning new physique!

    Replacing meats and fried foods with crunchy vegs and fresh fruits is so impactful. I suggest considering some additional nutritious powerhouses like micro greens, hulled hemp seeds, chia seeds, goji berries, nuts, flax seeds ground, and seaweeds like nori, and dulse. Check out The Rainbow Diet by Dr. Gabriel Cousens. Changed my life. Seriously though …. You rock!! And glad you can see your member again lol.

    1. Hey Peta!

      Thanks for dropping by and commenting! I appreciate the kind words and support. I am gradually adding some of those things into my eating habits. Lots of experimenting. Thanks for the suggestions.

  3. Wow! 32 pounds between you is amazing!
    We’ve been eating pretty healthy overall. The big change was giving up alcohol. There are several cancers linked and one of them is breast. I was never a big drinker, but I feel like that has kept me from gaining weight.
    It snowed all weekend, but it is beautiful outside today! Gotta get out.

    1. Hey Susie!

      I cut back big time on the booze and it made a big difference in cutting weight. Eating healthy and doing the cheat days in moderation has also been key. Hope you are also doing well.

  4. I am cracking up over this! Yes, I imagine not being able to see your penis would be a big jarring.

    I did make it to the gym today. But I’m not giving up cake!! DON’T MAKE ME GIVE UP CAKE!

    1. Hey Samara!

      Being able to see one’s penis is a joy in itself!

      Cake or penis? I choose penis! What – what? That didn’t sound right. Good for you getting back into the gym too.

  5. BOOM, baby! Hotberg, you crack me up, but you’re doing SO well. GOOD FOR YOU!

    I think everyone has a ‘line’ they refuse to cross. Glad you found ways to make sure you got back to where you’re more comfortable. And can see your penis. V. important 😉

    1. Hey Lizzi!

      I appreciate the love! Also glad I gave you a good laugh. Yup, I crossed that line and knew I had to jump back. My penis and waistline appreciated it!

  6. Well good for you. Here’s something to keep in mind, with all the money you’re saving by not eating out so much now, you can spend on new clothes. See? That was easy peasy.

    I had to make a, sort of, lifestyle change a few years back as well when my doctor wanted to put me on a prescription medication for cholesterol. I hate taking pills. I already have to take a pill for my stupid thyroid, which decided to quite working at a particularly stressful time of my life, and a medication to control my Meniere’s Disease. I was not going to take another pill. Old people take their medicine, not young people like me.

    So, I had to change my diet. I cut out soda altogether and cut down on my alcohol consumption. Those two things alone brought up my good cholesterol almost immediately. I also cut down on red meat, but I do still eat that more than I should. (Can you say pork ribs?)

    Keep up the good work. The most important part of all of that sacrifice is that you’ll eventually feel a lot better. You won’t even realize that you were not feeling your best until you recognize how good you feel now.


    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    1. Hey Patricia!

      Thanks so much. Yes, now that I cook a lot my credit cards have plenty of room for clothes shopping now.

      Yes, adjusting the diet works wonders with cholesterol and blood pressure. Sounds like you are doing well. I’m not a fan of pills either.

  7. Phil, kudos to you for the change in diet and exercise. That is awesome! I started a sugar purge (again) after eating like crap for three months. I don’t need to lose 20 lbs, but there’s some to lose around the midsection. And I’m trying to exercise regularly again after being off with a wicked cold for a month. You’re helping to inspire me, Phil. I also need a new version of myself.

    1. Hey Mary!

      Thanks, and so happy that what I have been doing is inspiring you. Hope that cold is long gone and you’re back exercising. Yeah, after a winter full of crap eating it was time to clean myself out!

  8. I’m a fish lover so I’m really enjoying seeing the pictures of all the great new meals you’re making.
    And when I look down, I don’t see a penis either. Somehow I’m not as upset about that as you are though . . .

    1. Hey Karen!

      As a fish lover this kind of eating change has been pretty easy, and delish!

      If you looked down and discovered a penis, maybe a trip to the doctor might be in order!

  9. Congrats on finding your penis again! And double congrats on the weight loss, that’s fantastic, Phil. You look great! Keep up the good work. I know the battle well, I’ve fought it all my life so I give you a shit-ton of credit for winning it!

  10. Good on yer Phil! We’re all proud that you’ve decided to stand up and be counted for a lean, mean, healthier life.

    I can’t actually share this post you understand, since my son and his mates actually read my blog and my Twitter feed (I know! I’m surprised that they don’t find me boring…!) but I’m with you and your girl, cheering you on, every step of the way!

    1. Hey Victoria!

      Thanks! I had to make a major change to stay fit, lean and mean. Even if it meant giving up the good tasty bad for you foods. I appreciate the support!

  11. Nothing like your parents shooting straight. Good to know your site lines are back. It’s soooo easy losing your fitness for whatever reason.

  12. Bro, it seems that the man tool is always the catalyst to get us back in the gym. For me, it was, eh, becoming winded during, eh, certain, rare, unicorn activities that require said member. That was the final straw! LOL. Keep grinding man, I’m right there with you.

    1. Hey Angel!

      Thanks man! Yeah, getting fit and eating right does help out a lot with sexy time!

      You have been doing great yourself getting back in shape. Good job!

  13. I can’t imagine the amount of hits you probably received on this post based on the title alone!

    Alas, it’s great how well you are doing and keep it up! 😀

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