Happy Labor Day everyone!
Hope you all are taking it slow and enjoying a day off from work. If your company is open today and they are forcing you to slave away for “the man” then I must say I feel sorry for you. Those companies are un-American! Close the damn biz for a day and let everyone enjoy a holiday of debauchery and reckless abandon. Or, just so many can actually get some sleep and be a lazy sloth for the day. It’s all good either way. This is Amurrica! Slap some hotdogs and burgers on the grill. Devour those carcinogens! Hit the beach in wildly inappropriate bathing suits that show off those jelly rolls. Skin cancer be damned! Drink until you puke. After holiday hangovers are special! Go see Guardians of the Galaxy again. After all, DC comics can’t seem to come out with a movie lately and Marvel is kicking their ass! Bring your kids to the mall to let them run wild like obnoxious brats and annoy the crap out of everyone else while you shop in blissful ignorance. Well, actually, we hate these parents. What I’m trying to say is go out and enjoy the day off if you can, as Labor Day is meant to be a day of relaxation from the daily grind of the rat race we live in.
It’s on these long weekend holidays that I sometimes just stay close to home and take a staycation. Holiday travel sucks. After many years of doing it I finally said no mas! I’d rather take a Friday or Monday off during a regular work week and enjoy a weekend getaway. We all know that most people can’t drive. The roads are packed. The airports are a nightmare. Everything is overpriced and undervalued. It’s much easier to stay close to home on these three or four day weekends and enjoy NYC as it seems much emptier. As long as you stay away from the tourist trap areas like Times Square which is ground zero for the Zombie Apocalypse. Restaurants are easier to get into, along with most bars, and movies. Traveling during these holiday weekends are for the amateurs. Don’t be part of the mindless herd. Just say no!
One thing I did while chilling out yesterday was to finally get around to watching the series ending episode of True Blood. After it finished I was like “what the hell was that”? What a piece of garbage ending! Are you effing kidding me? That episode was such a downer. It was as if the writers did not care anymore and just decided to shit on the audience that watched and supported the show all these years. This is right up there with the ending of Seinfeld, How I Met Your Mother, and The Sopranos. Way to go HBO. I hate you. Better not screw up Game of Thrones.
Also, we all know what happens this time of year. Everywhere and everyone goes pumpkin crazy. Coffee shops all of a sudden have a list of pumpkin flavored coffees. Breweries come out of the woodwork with pumpkin flavored beer. Bakeries make all kinds of sugary pumpkin treats. It’s just mad! I love pumpkin, and would kill for a good slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream, but honestly most of these items taste like fake crap. There is a pumpkin beer I tried the other day that does make a good one though. Southern Tier Pumking Ale. Damn, this is good. Just the right amount of flavor without tasting too sweet or artificial. I highly recommend it.
A friend of mine mentioned to us on Facebook the other day of an incident that he walked in on. This one is truly an “eye bleach” moment. In his words, and I quote – “You don’t know the true meaning of the word “speechless” until you open the bathroom door in a McDonalds and find a homeless man drying his balls with the hand dryer.” My friend Garrett seems to stumble into these horrifying life moments, and he has truly seen things that cannot be unseen. As a newly married man this image will now haunt him for a long time, and is the last thing he wants to bring to bed with him at night as he lays next to his wife. Thinking of that image no amount of Viagra would induce a stiffy. Nope, not happening. The plumbing is not cooperating.
I have also been witness to visuals such as this. The most notable is when I stumbled into the men’s bathroom in Penn Station up by the Amtrak area in the wee hours of the morning and walked in on a guy shampooing and shaving his groin area. He just didn’t give a shit. It’s like this was his house and we just wandered into his personal bathroom. Even worse is that he was a hairy dude. Very hairy. Get out the eye bleach! I’m still scarred by this. I mean, I can understand when some manscaping needs to be done, but this was too much. So much hair. Even worse was that we locked eyes and he smiled at me. Ewwwwwww……
Whoa – Timothy Olyphant is sitting across from me in this little locals cafe and coffee shop that I do my weekend blogging at! He is with a few friends eating breakfast and chatting just like everyone else. No one even seems to notice the star of “Justified” is here. Only in NYC can the famous blend in with us regular folk, and we act as if we just don’t care.
Now, I really hope I don’t witness him picking his nose. That would be a buzzkill eye bleach moment. Especially if he eats it. Nooooooo!!!!
What harrowing images do you have stuck in your brain that you have seen people do? What eye bleach moments have you walked in on?