Oh, how the mighty have fallen LIMP but now RISE to the occasion when it comes to NYC politics! Like another shot of viagra into the NYC political scene we now have reports of disgraced former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer wanting to jump back into the fray, and headlines, of the upcoming elections. Seems as if “Client 9”, as he was known to his arranged hookers, wants to run for the office of NYC Comptroller. Not only does this reek of desperation, and that of a man so crazily determined to hold a position of power again, that it’s almost pathetic. What’s even more pathetic to me is that his wife actually stayed with him after it was revealed he had spent around $100,000 on about 20 visits to high paid “talent”. What was she thinking? Does Eliot have a “magic penis” or something? Does it sing and dance? Does it do the laundry too? Can it make me a sammich? ( Strike that last one – don’t want to know where the special sauce comes from! )
Oh, it gets better! Guess who wants to run against him. Kristin Davis! The ex-madam who supplied him with hookers for his sex adventures! Even though this was never verified this is just too delicious! From reports I have read she is on a mission for vindication and relishes the thought of sparring with him. The NYC newspaper headlines will have a field day with this one!
Now, not only do we have Anthony’s Weiner running for Mayor, we also have an ever bigger Spitzer Penis running for office against his maybe one-time Pimp! You just can’t make this stuff up!
Here’s my take on this scenerio. Get them all in the ring for a good old fashioned oil wrestling match! A “strip the clothes off” battle royal with all of New York City’s prominent dirty politicians at ringside ready to pounce on any of them who try to slip out of the ring and throw them back in. The first one to strip off all their clothes, tweet out a pic of their junk, and run around the ring buck naked wins their respective office.
Ashley Dupre’ will strut her stuff as the official ring girl while Spitzer looks on drooling!
It even gets better! Coming down from his Harlem office as special guest referee – the one and only ex-President Bill Clinton! Keepsake cigars will be handed out to the crowd as part of the extravaganza to all in attendance!
Good lord it just doesn’t get any better than this! Grab the popcorn and take a seat on the couch!