It’s all Penis Politics in NYC!

image001Oh, how the mighty have fallen LIMP but now RISE to the occasion when it comes to NYC politics! Like another shot of viagra into the NYC political scene we now have reports of disgraced former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer wanting to jump back into the fray, and headlines, of the upcoming elections. Seems as if “Client 9”, as he was known to his arranged hookers, wants to run for the office of NYC Comptroller. Not only does this reek of desperation, and that of a man so crazily determined to hold a position of power again, that it’s almost pathetic. What’s even more pathetic to me is that his wife actually stayed with him after it was revealed he had spent around $100,000 on about 20 visits to high paid “talent”. What was she thinking? Does Eliot have a “magic penis” or something? Does it sing and dance? Does it do the laundry too? Can it make me a sammich? ( Strike that last one – don’t want to know where the special sauce comes from! )

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Oh, it gets better! Guess who wants to run against him. Kristin Davis! The ex-madam who supplied him with hookers for his sex adventures! Even though this was never verified this is just too delicious! From reports I have read she is on a mission for vindication and relishes the thought of sparring with him. The NYC newspaper headlines will have a field day with this one!

Now, not only do we have Anthony’s Weiner running for Mayor, we also have an ever bigger Spitzer Penis running for office against his maybe one-time Pimp! You just can’t make this stuff up!

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Here’s my take on this scenerio. Get them all in the ring for a good old fashioned oil wrestling match! A “strip the clothes off” battle royal with all of New York City’s prominent dirty politicians at ringside ready to pounce on any of them who try to slip out of the ring and throw them back in. The first one to strip off all their clothes, tweet out a pic of their junk, and run around the ring buck naked wins their respective office.

Ashley Dupre’ will strut her stuff as the official ring girl while Spitzer looks on drooling!

It even gets better! Coming down from his Harlem office as special guest referee – the one and only ex-President Bill Clinton! Keepsake cigars will be handed out to the crowd as part of the extravaganza to all in attendance!

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Good lord it just doesn’t get any better than this! Grab the popcorn and take a seat on the couch!

41 thoughts on “It’s all Penis Politics in NYC!”

  1. I was going to say “please tell me you did NOT go there”, but this situation just screams for going there.

    And if his penis DOES do laundry, I’m moving and voting for him.

  2. Your state has more penile politics than any other state I know! (Wasn’t Brett Favre playing for an NY team when his whole sexting scandal broke, too?) Man, seems like you guys have a whole lot of phallus on the brain. Just sayin’.
    Kitt Crescendo recently posted…DaydreamMy Profile

  3. Honestly, you couldn’t make this insanity up unless you were on some sort of drugs. First of all “Spock” a/k/a Spitzer really needs to have his ego popped…the man has not one ounce of shame. Now my concern is that they read this post and will actually consider your idea for the battle royal…because anything goes at this point.

  4. This post had me HOWLING!

    Special sauce? OMG! SOOOO glad you didn’t include the nutritional value of…you know. Rumor control has it that…you know…has essential vitamins, but is high in sodium. Do NOT tell Bloomberg. He’ll either promote or ban consumption before he leaves office. (Depending on whether he thinks nutritional value outweighs sodium shock.)

    Your meme with Clinton? Priceless!
    Gloria Richard recently posted…THE ALPHA MALE WHO FLIPPED SNARK E PEN…It’s a Banner Day!My Profile

    1. Hey Suzanne!

      Thanks for dropping by my blog and commenting!

      This is too surreal to be real, but it is! Plus, Spitzer received enough petition votes last night to make it into the election. People are nuts out there! I guess morals and ethics don’t matter to the voters anymore. It’s sad.

      I’m glad you like my election campaign idea. I should have Don King sell it as a pay per view event!

      I’ll be sure to drop by your blog too. Thanks for coming over from the blog hop.
      filbio310 recently posted…Traif – a true Panty Dropper meal in Brooklyn, NYC!My Profile

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