I’m rich! I’m wealthy! I want to share my fortune with you!

shut-up-and-take-my-money

Hello everyone!

I just received the most wonderful news! It looks like that email I received not too long ago regarding a transfer of some dead guy’s fortune was not really a scam at all. Somehow, it seems the money is really there and ready to be transferred to my bank account. Now that Teruca has taken care of her mysterious adopted daughter her late husband’s fortune is ready to be shared with me! I’m going to be a millionaire!

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Seems legit, right? Here is her message to me copied in it’s entirety exactly as it was sent -

Greetings,

I contacted you some time ago in respect to the funds transfer of my
transfferring of my late husband’s funds in other to take care of my adopted daughter, . I want to sincerely thank you for your help initially
although you backed out thinking that the funds transfer was illegal and a
scam. Well, everything was legal and legit and went well, the funds
transfer was a success!!!

I am on vacation now in Benin republic with my family. In a way to
appreciate your kind gesture, I have instructed my bank to check the
sum of one million two hundred thousand USD ($1,200,000.00) to you via a
certified Bank Draft/check so that you can claim and cash in your bank.
This is my little way of saying thank you for your initial help.

Please send to him the following information as soon as possible at my
private email address weztocadooseemor@xmail.com so that I can forward it to my bank for the necessary modalities in the process of your Bank draft.

1. Your full Name
2. Telephone/Mobile phone number:
3. Contact address
4. Country

Yours truly,
Mrs. Teruca Sainz

I mean, this is a no brainer, right? I immediately sent her all my contact info, along with my bank account number and social security number just to play it safe. That $1,200,000 is as good as mine! I can quit my job and just sit around buying stuff on eBay now. I’m booking that vacation to Europe. A few new sports cars might be on the agenda. I’m going to buy so much bacon!

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What’s even better is that I want to share it all with you – my favorite readers! You’ve all been such good blogger friends that I want to cut you in on a piece. Just reply with the following and I’ll transfer over some funds with the amount based on the answers I receive.

 

1 – Have you ever been caught having sex?

2 – Favorite food or music guilty pleasure?

3 – Checking account routing number or biggest pet peeve?

4 – Have you ever been caught picking your nose in public?

5 – Address, social security number, blood type?

6 – Do you like bacon? (reply carefully to this one!)

7 – Star Wars or Star Trek?

Would you trust this guy?

Would you trust this guy?

I know what you are all thinking. Phil has lost his mind and this is a scam. No, it’s legit! As soon as I receive my 1.2 million big ones I’m going to hook everyone up. Really, I won’t use your personal info and deepest darkest secrets for my own personal gain. Now, why would I do that? Teruca here wouldn’t. As soon as she returns from her family vacation in the Benin Republic she is sending me the cash. Why wouldn’t I believe her? Her husband passed away and she has been raising some adopted kid with little to nothing while waiting for all his millions to be released to her. That must have been a painful and emotional experience. I feel for her. I think I’ll start a charity in her name. After I dole out part of my new found fortune to you all I just might send her a few hundred thousand. She just seems so honest and caring!

About filbio310

Life Contortionist, Blogger, Yelper, Foodie, Gym Rat.
This entry was posted in Bacon, Blog, Charity, Comedy, Douchebaggery, Food, Friends, Funny, guilty pleasures, Humor, Life, Money, NYC, Pet Peeves, Relationships, Sex, Uncategorized, Weird Stuff, WTF and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

59 Responses to I’m rich! I’m wealthy! I want to share my fortune with you!

  1. Well now Phil, it seems that you are not the only one earning huge sums of money, and I feel so guilty for not having considered sharing my fortune with other friend bloggers the grand amounts that I might have received had I appropriately responded to some major world bankers and leaders, including those from the UN telling me about the grand amounts of money waiting to be transferred to my account. But since I’ve clearly lost my opportunity, I suppose that Crab Cakes and Lobster are among my favorite foods, well risotto too, will this earn me a slice? I hope you will not be jealous for my own potential of fortune that I so carelessly tossed aside.
    Peggy Gilbey McMackin recently posted…Sun-Dried Tomato & Gorgonzola Pasta from Cicciotti’s San Diego KitchenMy Profile

  2. Jessica
    Twitter:
    says:

    People are SO generous! It wasn’t too long ago that someone in the UK contacted me with a large sum of pounds to be converted into US dollars to be deposited into my bank! I’m going to buy the most expensive bottle of French wine and then pour it out just because I can.
    Jessica recently posted…Jordan Taylor Collection End of Summer GiveawayMy Profile

  3. susielindau
    Twitter:
    says:

    Wow! Phil! Congratulations! How wonderful that you will be sharing your fortune with us. Of course I am assuming you will be sharing it with me because I’ve allowed you to “Use Me and Abuse Me” for the better part of a year… :)

  4. 1 – In high school I was caught mid-coitus by a guy’s mom who said “This is not a hotel!” No, she did NOT want to join us. Lame.
    2 – Taco salad, if you call it a salad it must be healthy. Guilty pleasure is Fashion Police, I HATE fashion and it hates me back, but I LOVE Joan Rivers w/all my <3
    3 – Peeve: Internet scams and people picking their nose in public.
    4 – Yes, I've been caught picking my nose many times but everyone is too afraid to call me out, mostly b/c their prize is a booger or 2.
    5 – Address: ComfyTown, USA and my blood type is Southern Comfort.

    6 – Do you like bacon? (reply carefully to this one!)

    7 – Star Wars or Star Trek?
    Joy recently posted…Underbuns: The New SideboobMy Profile

  5. Congratulations – what more can I say…
    And by the way, here are my answers. Sitting anxiously waiting for your confirmation that you have chosen me over all the other replies :)
    1. Yes
    2. Has to be Cadbury Creme Egg – And yes it is a food!
    3. Biggest pet peeve – people who litter
    4. Yes (shamefully)
    5. Ah – don’t have social security numbers here in South Africa so not sure what to reply here – TBC / blood type B+
    6. YES! Who doesn’t
    7. Tough choice – would have to go with Star Trek

  6. Just a little something to say thank you for doing nothing. That’s why I tipped that valet that moved my car 3 feet $16,000. He didn’t do much but I’m unreasonably generous.
    Jill Pinnella Corso recently posted…Project Optimism: Here and NowMy Profile

  7. Emily
    Twitter:
    says:

    Congrats man… that’s so cool you have all this money now and to share it… even better!

    But, I would hate to take your money because I’ve been contacted by Keshin Singal about a long lost relative who has left a large sum of funds to me. After years of searching they finally found me through my email account. What luck!

    And, by the way, I don’t like bacon so I don’t think you would share your money with me anyway. ;-)
    Emily recently posted…Purina One Smart Blend True Instinct GiveawayMy Profile

  8. Pimpin’ ain’t easy, Big Daddy.
    Fearless Leader recently posted…Communist Commotion! Sex Dolls Unleashed on Chinese!My Profile

  9. Karen
    Twitter:
    says:

    So funny. I get at least three of these a week. I looked in the mirror but can’t see where I have “sucker” tattooed on my forehead.

  10. LMAO! You are such a generous soul. Having said that…I read your questions and the first thing that came to mind was…Wow! As crazy as I’ve been over the years, not once have I been caught in the act of having sex. Go me!
    Kitt Crescendo recently posted…Crossed BoundariesMy Profile

  11. susielindau
    Twitter:
    says:

    Judging by the responses, there are some serious contenders Phil. Better be ready to cough up the dough… :)
    susielindau recently posted…The Boob Report – Warning: Wild Rapids AheadMy Profile

  12. John Walker
    Twitter:
    says:

    There must be soooooooo many generous people in the world. I must have humanity wrong. Just last week, for instance, quite out of the blue, I also got an unexpected email from a guy in some place in Africa [unable to remember exactly where as I type this] who has over 200 MILLION in gold bullion he is going to GIVE to me. Apparently his father is the king of [somewhere] and is presently in a prison [somewhere]. Not sure how giving me 200 million in gold is going to secure his father’s release, but I’m sure that’s just a minor “detail”. If I remember right, the deal is I forward on my name, email, address, telephone number, bank account details and then they will deposit ALL that money into my account. What do ya think? … Sound too good to be true? Yeah, RIGHT!

  13. Jules
    Twitter:
    says:

    I knew there was a reason I kept coming back to your blog. I just had a hunch that somehow, someway, you were going to make me RICH!! ;)

    Jules of Canines & Couture
    Jules recently posted…Your Daily Smooshy: I’m MeeeelllltingMy Profile

  14. Angel Rodriguez
    Twitter:
    says:

    Careful pal, I got hit by some attacks to my site for pissing off those email senders. Best thing to do is not acknowledge and leave them alone. Don’t bring attention to yourself. I learned that the hard way.

  15. The Guy
    Twitter:
    says:

    Oh that is amazing news Phil, I’m so happy for you :-) Maybe you could consider me in your little charity handouts? :-) Or even on that trip to Europe pop in to the UK and say hi to us. I’m sure you’d love to buy me a beer.

    Also thanks for giving me Vivian’s e-mail address. I’m off to pop an e-mail to her now.

    Dumb thing is, they keep sending these e-mails out. Some fools fall for them. It only takes one in a million people to fall for it and it has been worth their while.
    The Guy recently posted…Are These The Best Hotel Beds In The World?My Profile

  16. Darcy Perdu
    Twitter:
    says:

    LOL — I don’t need any of your money — that PHOTO of the blue outfit and featehr boa was reward enough! Still laughing!
    Darcy Perdu recently posted…Murderers Trying to Break into My HouseMy Profile

  17. Jean
    Twitter:
    says:

    Oh dude, the Nigerian Prince scheme has sure stepped up their act. I love the theme you continued with throughout this whole thing :) I came thisclose to giving you all that information.

    I hope you got a good laugh out of this. And, treat yourself, go buy some bacon! This is a funny one
    Jean recently posted…Reader Love | Giving You A VoiceMy Profile

  18. Holly J says:

    Do you know my dumb ass thought for a moment you were being serious? Sigh.

    1 – Yes

    2 – Peanut butter and/or dancing half naked in front of the mirror like the chick from Flashdance.

    3 – Rude people/gawkers…just obnoxious as hell.

    4 – Negative, because I’m a lady.

    5 – I don’t even know my blood type. What’s the rarest one again?

    6 – I love Bacon but don’t eat it.

    7 – Star Trek all the way.
    Holly J recently posted…Vegged-Out Scrambled TofuMy Profile

  19. One of my needle in a haystack tweets: “That moment when you answer an (888) call because you hope you won some money. The caller says you won something and you hang up anyway.”

    I’m hanging up on your post. LOL!!! I hope you don’t unfollow me – I don’t eat bacon.
    Kenya G. Johnson recently posted…It had me at “Relaxing”…My Profile

  20. You’re joking right? Do you even know that lady? I will believe it once you have proof you got that money, lol. If it’s for real then congratulations. I thought that was a scam. Thanks for stopping by and visiting me on Bubblews. :)
    Susana King recently posted…Memories of Disney WorldMy Profile

  21. Haha, Phil! You can always make me laugh – thanks for that today! I can’t get over how lovely you look in that last photo :) I get those spam emails too but love the funny spin you put on it all here. Hugs!
    Christy Birmingham recently posted…When Haters Come Out To PlayMy Profile

  22. Aquileana
    Twitter:
    says:

    Seriously I haven´t laughed so loud in a while. Awesome post !!!.

    I welcome your ironic & sharp spirit

    Kind of reminds me of saturday night live. I arrived here due to Christy Birmingham,
    I am si happy she led me here; Filbio….

    Cheers, Aquileana ;)

  23. Ann
    Twitter:
    says:

    Love the outfit :) I hate those scammy emails, I seem to get a ton of them in my spam inbox. If I replied to all of them I would be very, very rich! As for the questions, we know I love bacon! In my family my boys vote Star Wars. For my husband and I it would depend on what movie/tv show we were comparing. Next Generation was awesome, but the movies were very hit or miss. The first Star Trek movie was bad. I refuse to acknowledge the star wars prequels, they sucked :)
    Ann recently posted…#Sponsored: Mighty Handles ReviewMy Profile

  24. Kate
    Twitter:
    says:

    I’ll take a bacon sandwich and that fab blue outfit please!

    Kate x
    Kate recently posted…On your marks, get set, bake {English Breakfast Muffins}My Profile

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