I’m rich! I’m wealthy! I want to share my fortune with you!

shut-up-and-take-my-money

Hello everyone!

I just received the most wonderful news! It looks like that email I received not too long ago regarding a transfer of some dead guy’s fortune was not really a scam at all. Somehow, it seems the money is really there and ready to be transferred to my bank account. Now that Teruca has taken care of her mysterious adopted daughter her late husband’s fortune is ready to be shared with me! I’m going to be a millionaire!

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Seems legit, right? Here is her message to me copied in it’s entiretyΒ exactly as it was sent –

Greetings,

I contacted you some time ago in respect to the funds transfer of my
transfferring of my late husband’s funds in other to take care of my adopted daughter, . I want to sincerely thank you for your help initially
although you backed out thinking that the funds transfer was illegal and a
scam. Well, everything was legal and legit and went well, the funds
transfer was a success!!!

I am on vacation now in Benin republic with my family. In a way to
appreciate your kind gesture, I have instructed my bank to check the
sum of one million two hundred thousand USD ($1,200,000.00) to you via a
certified Bank Draft/check so that you can claim and cash in your bank.
This is my little way of saying thank you for your initial help.

Please send to him the following information as soon as possible at my
private email address weztocadooseemor@xmail.com so that I can forward it toΒ my bank for the necessary modalities in the process of your Bank draft.

1. Your full Name
2. Telephone/Mobile phone number:
3. Contact address
4. Country

Yours truly,
Mrs. Teruca Sainz

I mean, this is a no brainer, right? I immediately sent her all my contact info, along with my bank account number and social security number just to play it safe. That $1,200,000 is as good as mine! I can quit my job and just sit around buying stuff on eBay now. I’m booking that vacation to Europe. A few new sports cars might be on the agenda. I’m going to buy so much bacon!

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What’s even better is that I want to share it all with you – my favorite readers! You’ve all been such good blogger friends that I want to cut you in on a piece. Just reply with the following and I’ll transfer over some funds with the amount based on the answers I receive.

 

1 – Have you ever been caught having sex?

2 – Favorite food or music guilty pleasure?

3 – Checking account routing number or biggest pet peeve?

4 – Have you ever been caught picking your nose in public?

5 – Address, social security number, blood type?

6 – Do you like bacon? (reply carefully to this one!)

7 – Star Wars or Star Trek?

Would you trust this guy?
Would you trust this guy?

I know what you are all thinking. Phil has lost his mind and this is a scam. No, it’s legit! As soon as I receive my 1.2 million big ones I’m going to hook everyone up. Really, I won’t use your personal info and deepest darkest secrets for my own personal gain. Now, why would I do that? Teruca here wouldn’t. As soon as she returns from her family vacation in the Benin Republic she is sending me the cash. Why wouldn’t I believe her? Her husband passed away and she has been raising some adopted kid with little to nothing while waiting for all his millions to be released to her. That must have been a painful and emotional experience. I feel for her. I think I’ll start a charity in her name. After I dole out part of my new found fortune to you all I just might send her a few hundred thousand. She just seems so honest and caring!

59 thoughts on “I’m rich! I’m wealthy! I want to share my fortune with you!”

  1. Well now Phil, it seems that you are not the only one earning huge sums of money, and I feel so guilty for not having considered sharing my fortune with other friend bloggers the grand amounts that I might have received had I appropriately responded to some major world bankers and leaders, including those from the UN telling me about the grand amounts of money waiting to be transferred to my account. But since I’ve clearly lost my opportunity, I suppose that Crab Cakes and Lobster are among my favorite foods, well risotto too, will this earn me a slice? I hope you will not be jealous for my own potential of fortune that I so carelessly tossed aside.

    1. Hey Peggy!

      Crab cakes and lobster are two of my favs! Here’s $5,000 to go purchase plenty of melted butter and tarter sauce for your next feast!

  2. People are SO generous! It wasn’t too long ago that someone in the UK contacted me with a large sum of pounds to be converted into US dollars to be deposited into my bank! I’m going to buy the most expensive bottle of French wine and then pour it out just because I can.

    1. Hey Jessica!

      You know, I dig your idea. Since a good French wine is pricey here’s $10,000 to buy as much as you want and then line them up to take rifle target practice on!

  3. Wow! Phil! Congratulations! How wonderful that you will be sharing your fortune with us. Of course I am assuming you will be sharing it with me because I’ve allowed you to “Use Me and Abuse Me” for the better part of a year… πŸ™‚

    1. Hey Susie!

      I guess you are due for a hefty payment of $50,000 for all the using and abusing! Even though I think you secretly enjoy it! πŸ˜‰

  4. 1 – In high school I was caught mid-coitus by a guy’s mom who said “This is not a hotel!” No, she did NOT want to join us. Lame.
    2 – Taco salad, if you call it a salad it must be healthy. Guilty pleasure is Fashion Police, I HATE fashion and it hates me back, but I LOVE Joan Rivers w/all my <3
    3 – Peeve: Internet scams and people picking their nose in public.
    4 – Yes, I've been caught picking my nose many times but everyone is too afraid to call me out, mostly b/c their prize is a booger or 2.
    5 – Address: ComfyTown, USA and my blood type is Southern Comfort.

    6 – Do you like bacon? (reply carefully to this one!)

    7 – Star Wars or Star Trek?

    1. Hey Joy!

      Whoa! You were caught by the guy’s mom? And she didn’t want to join? Damn! Taco salad and nose picking? Southern Comfort? Here’s $75,000 – I wanna party with you!

  5. Congratulations – what more can I say…
    And by the way, here are my answers. Sitting anxiously waiting for your confirmation that you have chosen me over all the other replies πŸ™‚
    1. Yes
    2. Has to be Cadbury Creme Egg – And yes it is a food!
    3. Biggest pet peeve – people who litter
    4. Yes (shamefully)
    5. Ah – don’t have social security numbers here in South Africa so not sure what to reply here – TBC / blood type B+
    6. YES! Who doesn’t
    7. Tough choice – would have to go with Star Trek

    1. Hey Lanthie!

      Bingo! Here’s $100,000 just for the fact you like bacon and Star Trek. But I’ll have to take back $25,000 because you didn’t offer details on question #1! πŸ™‚

  6. Just a little something to say thank you for doing nothing. That’s why I tipped that valet that moved my car 3 feet $16,000. He didn’t do much but I’m unreasonably generous.

  7. Congrats man… that’s so cool you have all this money now and to share it… even better!

    But, I would hate to take your money because I’ve been contacted by Keshin Singal about a long lost relative who has left a large sum of funds to me. After years of searching they finally found me through my email account. What luck!

    And, by the way, I don’t like bacon so I don’t think you would share your money with me anyway. πŸ˜‰

    1. Hey Emily!

      Since you are also an instant email millionaire we should just fly to Monaco to celebrate, party and gamble! Don’t like bacon? Oh well, more for me!

  8. So funny. I get at least three of these a week. I looked in the mirror but can’t see where I have “sucker” tattooed on my forehead.

    1. Hey Karen!

      You should reply back. A fortune awaits! Here’s $5,000 – go out for dinner and a movie. That should cover the snacks at the concession stand.

  9. LMAO! You are such a generous soul. Having said that…I read your questions and the first thing that came to mind was…Wow! As crazy as I’ve been over the years, not once have I been caught in the act of having sex. Go me!

    1. Hey Kitt!

      Not once? Here’s $100,000. Rent out the closest auditorium, invite the town, pay for everyone’s popcorn, then have everyone watch you and hubs go at it. That will fix #1! πŸ˜‰

      1. Shoot. Keep the cash. We both know that if there’s a difference between being “caught by surprise” and “putting on a show”. I’m sure I’d be perfectly capable of the latter if I truly wanted to be watched. πŸ˜‰

    1. Hey Susie!

      Back again for more abuse? I am impressed. Here’s another $50,000. Now step over into the Oil Wrestling Pit I set up behind you…….

  10. There must be soooooooo many generous people in the world. I must have humanity wrong. Just last week, for instance, quite out of the blue, I also got an unexpected email from a guy in some place in Africa [unable to remember exactly where as I type this] who has over 200 MILLION in gold bullion he is going to GIVE to me. Apparently his father is the king of [somewhere] and is presently in a prison [somewhere]. Not sure how giving me 200 million in gold is going to secure his father’s release, but I’m sure that’s just a minor “detail”. If I remember right, the deal is I forward on my name, email, address, telephone number, bank account details and then they will deposit ALL that money into my account. What do ya think? … Sound too good to be true? Yeah, RIGHT!

    1. Hey John!

      Dude! You’re getting way more than me? Can you throw me a few hundred grand. I need to cover all my expenses with this blog post!

      1. LOL. Why certainly. How many of the gold bars would you like? It seems I’m going to have plenty of them laying around and I only need a few for door-stops.

  11. I knew there was a reason I kept coming back to your blog. I just had a hunch that somehow, someway, you were going to make me RICH!! πŸ˜‰

    Jules of Canines & Couture

    1. Hey Jules!

      Just for the fact that I am a dog lover here’s $50,000 to buy Rufus all the dog biscuits he can eat. Here’s another $25,000 for Rufus just because he’s cool!

  12. Careful pal, I got hit by some attacks to my site for pissing off those email senders. Best thing to do is not acknowledge and leave them alone. Don’t bring attention to yourself. I learned that the hard way.

    1. Hey Angel!

      Ok – I took your advice and changed the name/email address to protect the sender.

      Because you looked out for me here’s $20,000 to buy all the pizza you want!

  13. Oh that is amazing news Phil, I’m so happy for you πŸ™‚ Maybe you could consider me in your little charity handouts? πŸ™‚ Or even on that trip to Europe pop in to the UK and say hi to us. I’m sure you’d love to buy me a beer.

    Also thanks for giving me Vivian’s e-mail address. I’m off to pop an e-mail to her now.

    Dumb thing is, they keep sending these e-mails out. Some fools fall for them. It only takes one in a million people to fall for it and it has been worth their while.

    1. Hey Guy!

      I’d love to have a pint or two with you across the pond. Here’s $25,000 to put towards our pub crawl. Let’s also invite Prince Harry and Prince William to party with us. Harry seems like a fun dude. I better bring another $50,000 just in case we need bail money!

  14. Oh dude, the Nigerian Prince scheme has sure stepped up their act. I love the theme you continued with throughout this whole thing πŸ™‚ I came thisclose to giving you all that information.

    I hope you got a good laugh out of this. And, treat yourself, go buy some bacon! This is a funny one

    1. Hey Jean!

      I must get at least three of these a week, all a bit different, but all the same theme. I’ll throw you a cool $25,000 just for playing along, and to go buy more bacon!

  15. Do you know my dumb ass thought for a moment you were being serious? Sigh.

    1 – Yes

    2 – Peanut butter and/or dancing half naked in front of the mirror like the chick from Flashdance.

    3 – Rude people/gawkers…just obnoxious as hell.

    4 – Negative, because I’m a lady.

    5 – I don’t even know my blood type. What’s the rarest one again?

    6 – I love Bacon but don’t eat it.

    7 – Star Trek all the way.

    1. Hey Holly!

      LOL! You get $25,000 just for thinking this was reality!

      Yes to Star Trek, bacon, and peanut butter (I have a post coming on that one!).

      #1 – details? πŸ˜‰

  16. One of my needle in a haystack tweets: “That moment when you answer an (888) call because you hope you won some money. The caller says you won something and you hang up anyway.”

    I’m hanging up on your post. LOL!!! I hope you don’t unfollow me – I don’t eat bacon.

    1. Hey Kenya!

      Even though you hung up on me and don’t eat bacon there is something I dig about crazy smart ass chicks! πŸ˜‰

      Here’s $20,000 to go and enjoy. Buy me something nice. Keep the rest.

  17. You’re joking right? Do you even know that lady? I will believe it once you have proof you got that money, lol. If it’s for real then congratulations. I thought that was a scam. Thanks for stopping by and visiting me on Bubblews. πŸ™‚

    1. Hey Susana!

      Of course all of these emails we get like these are a scam! Still, here’s $20,000 to visit Disneyworld. Lord knows it’s that expensive to go there nowadays!

  18. Haha, Phil! You can always make me laugh – thanks for that today! I can’t get over how lovely you look in that last photo πŸ™‚ I get those spam emails too but love the funny spin you put on it all here. Hugs!

    1. Hey Christy!

      So glad you got a chuckle out of this! We all have to laugh at these spam emails we receive.

      Here’s $25,000 because you like my “Pimping” attire. Go get yourself one.

  19. Seriously I havenΒ΄t laughed so loud in a while. Awesome post !!!.

    I welcome your ironic & sharp spirit

    Kind of reminds me of saturday night live. I arrived here due to Christy Birmingham,
    I am si happy she led me here; Filbio….

    Cheers, Aquileana πŸ˜‰

    1. Hey Aquileana!

      Thanks so much for comimg by and commenting! Glad to have you here, and I appreciate the nice compliments on my blogging. I hope you end up as a follower and I’ll check out your blog too. πŸ™‚

  20. Love the outfit πŸ™‚ I hate those scammy emails, I seem to get a ton of them in my spam inbox. If I replied to all of them I would be very, very rich! As for the questions, we know I love bacon! In my family my boys vote Star Wars. For my husband and I it would depend on what movie/tv show we were comparing. Next Generation was awesome, but the movies were very hit or miss. The first Star Trek movie was bad. I refuse to acknowledge the star wars prequels, they sucked πŸ™‚

    1. Hey Ann!

      Pimping ain’t easy! We all get these emails. Some are more funnier than others. Bacon rules, Next Gen rocked, and a totally agree about the Star Wars prequals – they were bad. Here’s $40,000 to help erase Jar Jar Binks from memory!

    1. Hey Kate!

      So, you did the pimp style, eh? Here’s $54,000 so you can buy plenty of bacon sandwiches! Don’t eat them all at once! πŸ™‚

Feel free to comment! We all have opinions!