Here we are again ladies and gents. February 14th, 2013. Valentine’s Day. One of the most anticipated and loathed days of the year. A made up holiday that has gone beyond being overhyped over the decades. A day when relationships can be bonded stronger than ever, or die a horrible excruciating death. A day when the flower companies, and even the sidewalk bodegas in NYC ridiculously inflate their prices to give us all forced anal enemas. The greeting card companies make a killing on this day with some of the most expensive and vomit inducing cheesy cards of the year. Don’t even get me started on the mediocre candy companies that sell a ton of heart shaped boxes containing lousy tasting chocolate selections. Sheesh – just go into your nearest Duane Reade, CVS, Walgreens, or any other drug store chain and you will see rows upon rows of this stuff. Look for the aisles that are all decked out in pink and red. Some people are all gung-ho about V-Day. Some couples plan elaborate dinners and expensive gifts. Celebrities flaunt it in the newstand rags. Coworkers show off the nauseating flowers and gifts they received on their desks. People gush about how “my boyfriend” or “my wonderful wife” or “my hubby” got me this or that. “We’re so in love!”
Gag me already. No, please, kill me now. Yet, as the sucker I am I still went out and did my part to support this horrible of days. Why? Well, because no man wants to be “that guy” that did not do something special for their gal. Plus, there is no way I want to feel the wrath of a woman scorned. Also, I gotta admit that I have a cool ass chick at home. She likes cards so that was an easy one. She also is a rocker chick so the KISS Pez Limited Edition Gift Set was a killer choice and no-brainer when I saw it in the store. When she unwrapped it this morning I asked if she liked it and with a big smile proclaimed “hell yeah!” “Screw flowers – this is way better!” Rock on! \m/
See boys, sometimes you just got to know what your gal really appreciates. It’s not about giving flowers or candy, as those are lame and can be given at any day or time. Dinner out? Eh, we do that all the time anyway. There’s no real thought in that. Give the perfect little gift that shows you appreciate and know her. Same thing goes for you ladies out there. Guys are simple and easy to please. We don’t go for all that mushy nonsense. We like cologne, new shaving gear, tickets to a ball game, an ipod, a home cooked meal, sex, etc. Sex is always a good gift, by the way. Can’t go wrong there. ;-)
It feels good to know that I’m not in the doghouse when I get home later. I’m did my due diligence and can be rest assured that I won’t have to scramble to the store after work to go buy something. I always see those last-minute people with that panic stricken look in their eyes shopping for cards and chocolates on the way home from work. Not me!
Wonder how many of you are in that boat today? Does Cupid have you by the coconuts? Do you love or hate that little guy with his arrows of doom?