Eff you Cupid! Valentine’s Day Loathing.

FatGuyCupid-300x298Here we are again ladies and gents. February 14th, 2013. Valentine’s Day. One of the most anticipated and loathed days of the year. A made up holiday that has gone beyond being overhyped over the decades. A day when relationships can be bonded stronger than ever, or die a horrible excruciating death. A day when the flower companies, and even the sidewalk bodegas in NYC ridiculously inflate their prices to give us all forced anal enemas. The greeting card companies make a killing on this day with some of the most expensive and vomit inducing cheesy cards of the year. Don’t even get me started on the mediocre candy companies that sell a ton of heart shaped boxes containing lousy tasting chocolate selections. Sheesh – just go into your nearest Duane Reade, CVS, Walgreens, or any other drug store chain and you will see rows upon rows of this stuff. Look for the aisles that are all decked out in pink and red. Some people are all gung-ho about V-Day. Some couples plan elaborate dinners and expensive gifts. Celebrities flaunt it in the newstand rags. Coworkers show off the nauseating flowers and gifts they received on their desks. People gush about how “my boyfriend” or “my wonderful wife” or “my hubby” got me this or that. “We’re so in love!”

funny-valentine-cupid

Gag me already. No, please, kill me now. Yet, as the sucker I am I still went out and did my part to support this horrible of days. Why? Well, because no man wants to be “that guy” that did not do something special for their gal. Plus, there is no way I want to feel the wrath of a woman scorned. Also, I gotta admit that I have a cool ass chick at home. She likes cards so that was an easy one. She also is a rocker chick so the KISS Pez Limited Edition Gift Set was a killer choice and no-brainer when I saw it in the store. When she unwrapped it this morning I asked if she liked it and with a big smile proclaimed “hell yeah!” “Screw flowers – this is way better!” Rock on! \m/

223485_10152552213485015_2072469006_nSee boys, sometimes you just got to know what your gal really appreciates. It’s not about giving flowers or candy, as those are lame and can be given at any day or time. Dinner out? Eh, we do that all the time anyway. There’s no real thought in that. Give the perfect little gift that shows you appreciate and know her. Same thing goes for you ladies out there. Guys are simple and easy to please. We don’t go for all that mushy nonsense. We like cologne, new shaving gear, tickets to a ball game, an ipod, a home cooked meal, sex, etc. Sex is always a good gift, by the way. Can’t go wrong there.  ;-)

forget-blow-jobs-flowers-valentines-day-ecard-someecards

It feels good to know that I’m not in the doghouse when I get home later. I’m did my due diligence and can be rest assured that I won’t have to scramble to the store after work to go buy something. I always see those last-minute people with that panic stricken look in their eyes shopping for cards and chocolates on the way home from work. Not me!

funny-cupid

 

 

Wonder how many of you are in that boat today? Does Cupid have you by the coconuts? Do you love or hate that little guy with his arrows of doom?

 

 

 

About filbio310

Life Contortionist, Blogger, Yelper, Foodie, Gym Rat.
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38 Responses to Eff you Cupid! Valentine’s Day Loathing.

  1. Tcoop
    Twitter:
    says:

    My husband and I do not celebrate V-Day, though we did seriously consider doing the White Castle table service thing. That is SO our speed. A few years ago, I blogged about the sham of V-D, and how I felt about it. I would put it in the comment, but really, the blog post says it all.

    http://www.coopdeeville.com/2011/02/hallmark-holiday.html
    Tcoop recently posted…My Own Personal FestivusMy Profile

  2. Susie Lindau
    Twitter:
    says:

    This is so funny and I am just coming from Julie Catherine’s hilarious post with the opposite sentiment. Where did you get those pictures???? Fantastic..
    Have a Happy Valentine’s Day anyway and have fun at the party! I know you will!
    Susie Lindau recently posted…Use Me and Abuse Me Day – Meteor/Asteriod Crashing Valentine’s Day EditionMy Profile

  3. Lisa says:

    I came over from Susie’s party. This is hilarious and the pictures are priceless. I do however enjoy Valentine’s Day because it just happens to be my anniversary, but I completely get how it can also be a downer. Great Post!

  4. H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S. – Hi there – I’ve just popped in from Susie’s wild partayyy! She know how to get things rocking. Loved your post and am sending it on to my kids (all over 25) – I could hear their voices all through this!
    My post is on the serious side but an important message to pass on! Enjoy this Pezz candies tonight … if your sweetheart will share …
    http://patriciasands.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/v-day-2013-how-will-you-rise-up/
    Patricia Sands recently posted…V-DAY 2013 – HOW WILL YOU RISE UP?My Profile

    • filbio310 says:

      Hi Patricia!

      Glad you liked my blog post! Thanks for dropping by my blog and reading. I appreciate the compliment!

      Susie is a great blogger and is cool for hosting these parties. I’ll be sure to check out you blog too.

      Hope your kids like my post – I am honored that you are passing it on. :-)
      filbio310 recently posted…Eff you Cupid! Valentine’s Day Loathing.My Profile

  5. Julie Catherine
    Twitter:
    says:

    LOL! Hilarious post indeed, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this! My brother posted, “Happy Hallmark Day” on his wall this morning, and it inspired me to write a Valentines Day poem – in the fashion of Dr. Seuss and the Grinch (my fav Christmas show, but it has to be the cartoon one!) LOL! Nice to meet you, thanks to Susie! :)
    Julie Catherine recently posted…What the Reformed Grinch Might Have Said About Valentines DayMy Profile

  6. Monique
    Twitter:
    says:

    i made Brent his favorite dinner. He ordered some edible arrangement that never came. then had the fun of trying to call edible arrangements all day to no avail. RIDIC.
    Its a silly holiday but i will admit, knowing my chocolate strawberries are sitting in a box somewhere makes me weepy. i hate soggy strawberries LOL
    Monique recently posted…Cinnamon Roll CroissantsMy Profile

  7. The Guy
    Twitter:
    says:

    I’m pretty much with you on a lot of this Phil. A commercially contrived event with the sole intention to get us to spend money on over priced nonsense.

    I tell my bride-to-be that every day is Valentine’s Day, it is for me everyday she is with me.

    Like you I did the honourable thing and bought gifts and a card. Mind I often buy her gifts so that is no big deal. It is all the forced and expected you must be so in love and so happy it’s Valentine’s Day nonsense.

    I had a discussion about this at work yesterday and all the blokes agreed that Valentine’s was really a thing for the girls; blokes couldn’t give two hoots about it.
    The Guy recently posted…Why Do We Ski?My Profile

    • filbio310 says:

      Hey Guy!

      Us blokes are all pretty much in agreement on this one. But I do like your suave way of telling your “bride-to-be that every day is Valentine’s Day, it is for me everyday she is with me”. That is genious!

      Still, we all do the right thing and get them some token of love and appreciation. Better than being in the doghouse!

      Thanks for reading and have a good weekend!
      filbio310 recently posted…Eff you Cupid! Valentine’s Day Loathing.My Profile

  8. Carica
    Twitter:
    says:

    I love the stank cupid pics! The Dollar Tree and the closest drugstore completes my Vday shopping. Went to Walgreens at 8:00 last night to get toilet tissue and every line was at least 10 people deep (majority men holding tiny teddy bears and overpriced withered roses).
    I’m in agreement with you, we go out to eat often, so no special dinner reservation is needed on Feb. 14. Just give me my Pecan turtles and a sistah is happy.

  9. Holli
    Twitter:
    says:

    KISS pez?! Dang you’re good. I would have loved that. I have a Gene Simmons Christmas ornament that stays out all year. Dont get me wrong, i was over the moon when i received flowers at work yesterday but i told him not to because its too expensive. I’m fine with a cheap bouquet from the supermarket.
    Burgers and tots sound delish. ( Napoleon Dynamite “give me your tots”!)
    Holli recently posted…Happy Valentines Day- my past and my presentMy Profile

  10. UP
    Twitter:
    says:

    Valentine’s Day pisses me off more than any other Holiday. That’s why I do my love stories in February, I know, it doesn’t make sense…but it sure as heck makes me feel better…especially when the love goes wrong!

    Marvelous rant, you were speaking for me!

    UP
    UP recently posted…By GeorgeMy Profile

  11. I have always hated Valentine’s Day! My husband got me peach absolute, which I loved and so much better than chocolate or jewelry :)
    Frugal Foodie in WV recently posted…Guest Post-Add a Personal Touch to Your Valentine’s Day Gifts with Homemade Covered TinsMy Profile

  12. Well I haven’t been in a relationship in a while and I had forgotten it was Valentines Day and I didn’t notice it till it was over. Valentines Day sure did suck this time, but I’m sure I’m not the only one that is single out there not getting any roses or gifts on that day.
    Susana King recently posted…NFTA Meeting – My AgendaMy Profile

  13. clay
    Twitter:
    says:

    V-day majorly disike – it gets a lot of hype in elementary school and they come to middle school all hooted up about it with raging hormones and no V-day celebration. Trying to teach on V-day is almost impossible – I DO FEEL LIKE like a soap commercial on V-day. But, I did get my wife a dozen beautiful roses on the Saturday before – and paid $18 for the dozen – before the price hike and a card, but alas no ____ (you fill in the blank)! thanks for the laugh!
    clay recently posted…President’s Day 2013My Profile

  14. I was one of those suckers that was out looking for a card on V-day!

    Yeah, I like my husband and everything, but let’s not go crazy with the over-spending on gifts that end up in the garbage/my belly.
    Jill Pinnella Corso recently posted…Back Home Sitcom: Women Slacking Off On Valentine’s DayMy Profile

  15. Angel Rodriguez
    Twitter:
    says:

    I’m with you on this buddy. The day is a veered off course pagan holiday that has been marketed to perfection and leaves us no choice but to comply.

    One of my best friends goes to White Castle with her partner as a way of sticking it to the corporations.

    Personally this year I decided to celebrate it with my wife the before Valentines day! And I got her goodies from someone who makes them year round. Except that this time of the year they are in heart shapes.

    Nobody wants to be “that guy”, but you can avoid being “that guy” while still sticking it to the machine!

    Fack you hallmark!
    Angel Rodriguez recently posted…Don’t be a victim!My Profile

    • filbio310 says:

      Hey Angel!

      Thanks for reading! I always get a kick out of the White Castle promotion for V-Day!

      Yes, it’s always better to get the goodies and flowers before V-day as it’s much cheaper and not a ripoff. Even the restaurants have special menus that day thay usually suck and are overpriced.

      Hallmark feeds off the suckers on this day. So do all the flower companies. Still, as men in relationships we have to do the right thing!
      filbio310 recently posted…The UES is the next foodie haven! Kill me now!My Profile

  16. Pamela
    Twitter:
    says:

    VD is economic, to increase commercial sales that have declined after Christmas! :)

  17. Mandi
    Twitter:
    says:

    I hate Valentine’s day. You’ll see why. My husband and I don’t celebrate. We don’t do gifts or flowers or cheezy BS. He usually gets us some live lobsters, and we use the holiday as an excuse to eat really terrible but delicious food, but we don’t ham it up because I hate it. I could go on…but I won’t.
    Mandi recently posted…Lovepocalypse Take 2My Profile

  18. Jean
    Twitter:
    says:

    Agreed! I’ll admit, my guy does the nice Valentine’s Day stuff very well – he’s a gentleman – but I don’t buy into the face dinners or big gifts. Everywhere is overcrowded and over priced. Not our style. So, if there’s thought put into the gift that really is worth it. Hope you and your lady have a great day!
    Jean recently posted…Ebay: Where To Buy Love, Sex and SoulsMy Profile

    • filbio310 says:

      Hey Jean!

      Sounds like you got a keeper there! Be sure to treat him well right back. I’m sure you have a little sexy something planned! ;-)

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