Eat Like A Man! Keens Steak House NYC

Do you think I look happy about this? Hell yeah!

As spoken in the voice of Sean Connery – “When you dine with The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen you expect a feast of legendary proportions. No fussy appetizers or namby pamby minuscule entrees. Men of adventure demand large portions of mouth watering meat and the finest whiskeys to wash them down with. Trebek – your mother enjoyed a fine piece of meat last night too!”

I have always wanted to enjoy a meal at Keens Steakhouse with the company of good friends who appreciate a delicious slab of meat, a quality drink, and historic surroundings. Just walking into the front lobby you are greeted by a selection of age old pipes that belonged to iconic figures from the past – Abraham Lincoln, John Barrymore, Teddy Roosevelt, Babe Ruth, General Douglas MacArthur, Albert Einstein, and many others. These clay pipes can be viewed all long the ceilings and walls of Keens, as they own the world’s largest collection of churchwarden pipes in the world – close to 90,000. Each room at Keens breathes history and the past is well preserved here. Dark woods, brass accents, and old paintings adorn the walls. A bit decadent – yes – but modernly casual at the same time as there is no dress code here. Come as you are and be prepared for a meal among the ghosts of the past.

Photo credit – Keens Steakhouse website. The Lincoln Room. Notice pipes on the ceiling. This room features Lincoln memorabilia all around.

The seven of us partook in a meal that was truly epic in nature. The waitstaff on this evening was outstanding, and perfectly suitable for what we our needs commanded. Our waiter Allen was a proud Scotsman with a dry wit and zinging humor. Get to the point, order your food, and get down to business. The way it should be among men.

Baskets of bread and veggie slices with blue cheese dip were placed on the table. As appetizers most of us ordered the thick-cut smoked bacon which was mouthwateringly good with a bit of smokiness to it. As sides for the table we ordered multiple plates of creamed spinach, mashed potatoes, and boiled baby potatoes. Each one was terrific in it’s own right. By the end there was not a drop left in those plates. As main entrees a few went right to the famous mutton chop, some went for a sirloin or filet. I would have none of that on this evening as I was ready to bear down on their colossal Prime Rib of Beef – King’s Cut.

Monster sized prime rib. Perfectly cooked. Delish! Ate all of it. Food coma after. Click on pic to see real size in detail!
Monster sized prime rib. Perfectly cooked. Delish! Ate all of it. Food coma after.

This had to be one of the most outstanding pieces of meat I have ever eaten! Absolutely cooked just right. Seared on the outside. Pink and juicy on the inside. Amazingly thick. I had to finish it off, and surely I did. Happily, I may add. The two sazerac cocktails I consumed along with it were the perfect accompaniment. Also, the fact that they offer over 200 bottles of single-malt scotch reads like a novel and is quite impressive.

All in all, our dinner at Keens was superb. Money was no object on this evening, as can be expected a steakhouse of this caliber will render a nice sized dent in your wallet, and we knew that going in, but it was oh-so-worth it!

Seriously, if you are a guy and can’t enjoy a meal like this then it’s time to hand in your man card, schedule a dress fitting, get a mani-pedi and Brazilian, rent a chick flick like “The Notebook” to cry over, and then bond with your girl friends over a Sex and The City marathon while eating bon bons.

If you want the quintessential manly man’s meat eating experience then Keens Steak House is an appropriate choice, especially if dining with a group of affable gents. Thank you gentlemen, for sharing this experience with me.


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32 thoughts on “Eat Like A Man! Keens Steak House NYC”

    1. Hey Kitt!

      Gotta love a woman who admits to love putting meat in her mouth! 😉

      I’ll def try to drop by there next time in Tampa while over at the casino with my mom.

      Thanks for reading!

      1. Dude! I thought it was MY job to turn everything into a dirty little innuendo.

        If your bum is heading to Berns, make sure to take some serious time. It is a fine dining experience. Make the reservations, and let them know you want the tour. It’s awesome….they even take you into their wine cellars (biggest selection pretty much anywhere). And you CAN NOT skip the Dessert Room upstairs. You’ll have to tell me what you think. (By the way, they have their own farm a couple miles up the road where they even grow their own organic veggies for their salads, etc.)

  1. We have amazing steak houses in South Africa and our meat is the best in the world. So if ever you want the truly perfect steak, pop on over!

  2. What a great looking meal, that sure is a lot of meat. I do notice that travelling around the world the Americans, Australians and South Africans really do their steaks in style. This post just proves it.

    Great to hear of your Scottish waiter, they do often have a great sense of humour.

    1. Hey Guy!

      It was truly epic. That meat was huge and prepared perfectly! I am drooling still.

      Yeah, that waiter was a blast!

      I have another reader here, Lanthie, who also commented on steaks from Africa as she lives there.

  3. I am energized to have some steak tonight – love a steak, thick juicy with mashed potatoes, green beans, and a great salad. Hmmmm thanks for sharing – you are right meat is a man’s meal.

    1. Hey Clay!

      That sounds like a great meal plan! I really need to start dieting again though. So many places here to eat.

      Hey, no snow here now. It’s in the 50’s and blindingly sunny!

  4. I cannot believe that I’m being severely tortured like this AGAIN. Look at that STEAK. This is nothing more than BLOG ABUSE. Look at that first picture with you and MY steak. How could you man? It’s a bit like adultery, you eating what should be mine.
    I’m flabbergasted by the size of it. Man, I need to be in New York for my next holiday. I have been teased beyond recognition as my tongue hangs watering over my empty plate. Oh, and look at Keens, love the decor to the max. I could easily live, eat and sleep there for the rest of my life. Blogging like this should not be legal.
    Tell Keens I’m on my way, and tell America – RPD said Hell Yes 🙂 It’s days like this that I wish flaming Concord was still in service.

    1. Hi Rum Punch!

      This is food porn at it’s finest!

      It was literally the size of a small child. And much tastier!

      Keens is a pretty awesome old school steak house from the past. You should print this post out and carry it around with you so the torture will never end!

      1. Food porn for sure mate. I had to come back for another look. I went down the pub this afternoon, and what I thought was a good piece of steak looked like the size of a pea compared to yours. I had to show my mates your photo.
        I love my England to the max but shame on them for not sharing the junks of meat with us people.

        1. Hey Rum Punch!

          That is too funny. Keep looking and it might magically appear!

          Actually, I am going to have some fish & chips and some crumpet at this great British place nearby my home.

  5. I still watch Sex in the City reruns. Take your man card and shove it down your pocket. : )

    You’re damn good at writing these food reviews. Another career, perhaps?

    FYI, my heart seized up as I stared lovingly at the steak.

    1. Hey Lauren!

      I eat a lot, and drink even more, so I have many food reviews at my fingertips. I think I eat and drink too much! Thanks for he compliment.

      Oh, and that hunk of meat was amazing. Needed the “jaws of life” to get me out of the restaurant!

  6. I love eating at steakhouses, and that Keen Steakhouse looks beautiful. The food sounds great and the atmosphere there itself seems amazing. I’d like to go there someday with my family to eat. I just wanted to let you know I have three grab my buttons on my blog on the bottom right side of Susana the Deaf Lady. So if you want to grab and paste one later it’s there and for anyone else as far as it goes. I really like these blog buttons because with yours I can easily get right onto your website in two seconds, it’s faster.

    1. Hi Susana!

      Yeah, Keens is a cool dining experience.It was great and the place has so much history. Thanks for reading and letting me know about the web buttons.

  7. Love Prime Rib. I really need to get home to the states. You are making me really home sick for good food! Hope you are having a great weekend.

  8. Hi is this keens stake house in New York I visited your stake house last year and I got one of your famous t-shirts on my last day I left it in my hotel room I was wondering is there anyway of getting another one

    1. Hi Anthony,

      Thanks for dropping by my blog! I am sure it’s the same place. Maybe on their website you can order another one, or call them to see if you can order another and have it shipped.

      Good luck!

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