Riding the rails each day back and forth to work offers me ample time to observe my fellow human beings. One thing that I have noticed over the years are that many men have a complete and utter disregard for their outward appearance, mannerisms, and basic hygiene. Oh yeah, I’m gonna go there! Yes, I am!
Point in case this morning – “the nose hair” guy. Really? It’s probably the easiest thing to take care of. They sell small trimming scissors and battery operated tools to buzz those suckers right down. Just trim once a week so you don’t look like a freaking party favor when breathing. While you’re at it also trim those trees growing out of your ears. No one wants to see hair sprouting out of every orifice on your head. Nothing wrong with a bit of manscaping on the noggin once in a while.
Then there are those that seem to think showering and odor care are not a viable option. Holy heck people take a damn shower! B.O. is no bueno! Now, I know sometimes it is a physical and chemical problem for some guys, but still, have you been to any drugstores
lately or even watched tv? There are ads for that Old Spice dude on a horse, those other dudes getting chased by women after using Axe body spray, and colognes that won’t assault people around you. Life is to short to smell like dirty ass all the time. Bathe -with soap or body wash. Wash your clothes – with detergent. Apply some powder to stay fresh. Spray on some nice smelling cologne but not too much. Don’t you ever wonder why people move away from you in the subway?
Which leads to the guy who does not know what “personal space” is all about. There is hardly anyone in this subway car. So why do you walk in and stand right next to me? Dude, back off! There should be a three-foot barrier around each person and if you cross over it you will be jolted with electricity. Same goes for the guy who has to use the treadmill right next to mine at the gym even when all the rest are empty. (And he usually smells bad. See above paragraph.)
What is that snipping noise? Oh gross! Why are you clipping your nails in public? I have seen this over and over in the subways and trains I have been on. Clip. Clip. Clip. Nail bits flying everywhere. That is so gnarly. I appreciate the effort to keep them neat but do that at home please. Also, I hate seeing guys with long fingernails. It’s just nasty looking. Keep them cut down so you don’t look like a chick. Same goes for guys who insist on wearing sandals. If your toes look all beat up with dirty nails and toe-jam you really need to check yourself before heading out the door. Clean that hot mess up.
Brush your damn teeth! I really don’t want to see what you ate for breakfast this morning, or worse yet, dinner from last night stuck in your teeth. Mouthwash and rinse too. So many decent flavors to keep your breath fresh. If you are talking to me and my eyes tear up you know there is a problem.
The comb-over. The extreme comb-over. The incredibly bad toupee that should have a chin strap attached to it. I get the most giggly when I see these. They are like the golden unicorns. When you see one you have to make a mental checkpoint in your head. They are just too funny, sad, and pathetic at the same time. Men, if you lose enough of your hair that you resort to any of these please think twice or it’s really game over. Shave it off. That, or keep it cut high and tight. Guys like The Rock, 
Steve Austin, and Bruce Willis went with the chrome-dome look and they are still bad ass. Take a cue from these dudes. Can you imagine The Rock with a comb-over? Uh, no. (It would be incredibly funny looking though!)
Ok, that is enough with my rant from the pulpit of men for today. Heading out to lunch and hoping to find a few golden unicorns on the way!
haha, awesome!
Dude! So glad you like this one! Now go trim those nose hairs!
Hahaha! Another excellent post.
Hi Kimberly! Thanks so much for the nice compliment! Glad you liked it, and had a laugh.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Favorite visual is the party favor coming out of your nose when breathing! awesome!
on a serious note, a tip for other dues, Lubriderm makes a lotion for men that absorbs odor. it smells nice and offers protection from odor for those that are always sweaty.
Hey Monique! I like to imagine the honking noise each time I see the hairs move in and out!Bwaaaaak! BwaaaaaK! Yes, I have heard about the Lubriderm. Good tip!
Too funny Phil! You made me spit out my drink on the party favor bit!
Hi Bonnie! Now every time you see a guy with long nose hairs you will think of this post! And party favors! Glad I made you laugh.
Loved this post! Lol but so true!
Hey Alexandra! So glad you liked it and laughed! I appreciate the comment.
You’ve said so many things I’ve been dying to say on the web. We need to get this message out filbio310 and you’ve got the ball rolling.
Well done. When people are in the privacy of their own homes then do what they like. When in public at least have some consideration of your appearance.
Hi Guy! Hey, someone needs to say it out loud! Glad you approved. I appreciate the comment and support! And yes, I trimmed my nose hair this morning!
Hold up, you all know this applies to females too right? I see ya’ll jumping in here, but one can be written about y’all. LOL. Just yesterday I saw a woman with a full proper beard, thicker and nicer looking that any beard I could ever grow! Ever! Now, admittedly part of me wonders if this was even possible, but man, why would she be walking around the subway with a fake beard on? Come on! Come on! Come on! Maybe she can try to bleach it or something?
LOL! You should have asked her for manscaping tips Angel! I am sure this can apply to the ladies too, but most women seem to be on top of their game as compared to men. Thanks for the comment and support!
Glad to help out your blog too! Thanks for using my post.
Going to take a shower now… Hey, where’s my Axe??? I’m late for Susie’s party.
Hi Ted! Thanks so much for dropping by and reading my blog!
Gotta use that body spray in the morning. Don’t forget to trim those nose hairs. 🙂
Susie is a terrific blogger. Glad to meet you both. I’ll be sure to drop by your blog too.
I LOVE this! These are such great tips. You should print it out and hand it to the worst offenders.. 🙂
Thanks for bringing it to the party!
I have a couple questions. Is this a WP.com site? I am wondering why the required fields?
Hi Susie! Thanks for dropping by my blog and reading it. Glad you liked my post, and I appreciate you letting me place it on your blog. 🙂
As I said in my email back to you, yes this is a WordPress site, but I use CommentLuv for the comment hosting and it’s a terrific way to generate traffic and promote your own blog posts.
You have a great blog, and I look forward to seeing more in 2013!
Hi, swinging by from Susie’s party. You make some valid points. I think the hair is over looked because it’s kind of an age thing, and it takes a little while for us to really see ourselves in the mirror. I for instance can relate. I probably could have waxed my stash much sooner than when I decided to do it. And I don’t think I really noticed it til it was pointed out to me by my friends (and by “pointed out” I mean relentlessly made fun of)…we “get by with a little help from our friends.” Hopefully, your blog will be read by those that could use it.
Hello and happy New Year! Thanks for dropping by and reading my blog post! Susie has a fun party going on over there.
It’s an age thing sure, but I also notice guys in the younger generation also being lax with look, hygiene, and appearance. Yeah, after a while of being made fun of we normally step into action. Gotta love our friends!
Glad someone beat me to it…we women need to understand that we’re not exempt from the nose hair rule, either…and (scarily enough) I once saw a woman with hair growing between her breasts. Should this happen to you, make sure someone hasn’t been secretly slipping you testosterone. Then invest in lasering that stuff off! If laser is out of the price range…get that waxed!
Hello Kitt!
Thanks for dropping by my blog and reading! Ewww…. a woman with breast hair? Well, she could dye it a fun purple or pink color and call it an accessory!
Happy New Year!
What would one call dyed cleavage hair? Breasthawk? (I guess it goes without saying that I found you through Susie, right?) 🙂
HAHAHAHA!
Nice one! I am beginning to really like Susie’s friends! You’re all a bit warped like me – and I like that! 😉
I was at Susie’s Wild Rider Party and thought I would hang out here a little bit. And I just gotta say that this was too funny. Thanks for the laughs and funny observations. I agree with you on the personal space guy and the extreme comb-over guy … definitely clueless. Good post!
Hello Guat!
Thanks for hanging out here and reading my blog! So happy you liked it! Glad I made you chuckle. 🙂
I just posted a new rants & ravings post today.
Like your blog too! Looking forward to following it.
ROLF!!!!! I am an avid people watcher. Your fabulous descriptions of the people you see make laugh. I have finally (thank goodness!) covinced my youngest son that showering everyday is a good thing and that girls don’t like to hang out with guys who make their eyes water. I’m so glad that I stopped by from Susie’s party.
Hello Fawn!
Thanks for dropping by! Glad I gave you a good laugh. I’ll have some more rants about people coming soon. I did a few posts on that already.
Yes, your son will appreciate the good advice as he starts his dating life!
Susie’s blog is terrific! Met a bunch of nice bloggers from her party.
I hate the personal space thing also. I would rather the other people were very far away, I like lots of space 🙂
Hi Frugal!
Haha! Keep them all away! We should have electric shock zones around our bodies! 🙂
Ugh! I had a boss that would clip his nails at a meeting. Yeah and it wasn’t over a trash can either. He also pat his hair all the time. He was grossly very vain so I’m sure he brushed teeth often and he never stank with BO, just too much cologne.
Hello Kenya!
Thanks so much for dropping by my blog and commenting! You came over from Terrye’s blog hop? She is too funny.
That is one nasty boss to work for! In meetings? With nail bits flying around? Yuck!
I’ll be sure to check out your blog too, and hopefully we can follow each others.
A ride on public transportation is going to have a whole new meaning for me now.
(A newbie at Humor Me)
Hello Cindy!
Thanks for dropping by my blog and commenting!
I bet now you will be looking around for these folks when taking mass transit! They are everywhere!
Thanks for coming by from the blog hop. I’ll also be checking yours out and others over the weekend.
Phil, thank you for this. Maybe the guys out there will listen to another guy, cuz they sure don’t seem to be listening to the ladies! 🙂
Hey Terrye!
Glad you liked it! I don’t think these people listen to anyone, or look in a mirror, or smell themselves……
I did a manscaping post a couple years ago, posses every body off! Gosh, that was fun! Great post.
Pissed, damn autocorrect !!
Hey UP!
Hey, you know technology is there to make our lives easier!
Hey UP!
Nothing wrong with keeping the bushes and lawn neat and trimmed! Glad you enjoyed my take on men’s hygiene – or lack of it!
Jeez! You are quite demanding. Next you’re going to tell me pajamas aren’t work clothes.
Hey Joy!
Pajamas? I thought you wear sexy lingerie to work and nothing else. Are they the pajamas with the flap in the back?
That’s right. We should trim our nose hair regularly for both beauty purpose and comfortable feeling. Great sharing. Thank you
Hey Eric,
Yeah, no one should look like party favor when they breath!
Great yeah. Really awesome post , also helpful
Hey Eric!
Glad you enjoyed it!