What is up with all the dudes I am seeing in NYC lately wearing wigs on their heads? I mean really guys you are fooling nobody. Some of them look like you should have a chin strap attached to it. Others look like a dead animal is perched atop your noggins. Then there are those that just make no sense such as the older guys with grey hair peeking out under a dark brown/black hair piece and they look like hair helmets. Are men in this city so vain and insecure that they feel the need to modify what nature has given them in their DNA? We all know that most times male pattern baldness is caused by genetics and there is no real way to change that unless you go for the expensive hair follicle replacement procedures you see in all those infomercials. Men just seem to have such an inferiority complex when it comes to the hair thing. Those commercials do crack me up.
“Yes, with my new hair it feels totally natural and now I can go jet skiing, mountain climbing, and even hang gliding without ever worrying that my wig will fly off!”
“I feel and look twenty years younger with my new hair. Now I can creep on single women and not feel insecure when stalking”
“It feels like my real hair and now I can stop masturbating to internet porn and actually speak to real live women!”
Maybe it’s just because NYC is a singles paradise and men need to up their game here. As a guy I will admit it is nice to still have a full head of hair, no doubt, but if I did all of a sudden lose it there is no way I would glue a fake doo on my cranium. You ever see what happens here during hot humid days on those dudes? The glue starts melting and you can see it oozing out from under their rugs. It’s too funny, and sad at the same time. Guys here all want to appear young and youthful. The dating landscape is competitive and it’s almost like a sport here in NYC no matter if in the straight or gay scene. I get it, but it’s the extremes that some of these guys go to that is pathetic and borderline crazy. I see the younger guys who are receding and thinning out doing the “brush forward and flip in the front” thing that has become the uniform hairdo rage for balding men the past few years. There are those that wear preposterous looking toupees as if they are not really trying anymore, but think no one really notices. They actually think it looks natural. Then there are the “comb-over” gents that can both horrify and amuse at the same time. They part their hair right over their ear and comb it over the top to the other ear. Or part it in the back and comb it to the forehead and off to the side. On a windy day it always offers a few good laughs! I don’t want to sound mean here but it just does look ridiculous. C’mon guys! Give it up aleady.
The best bet is to just shave it off, or keep it close cropped and buzzed for a clean look. That’s the way I would go if I lose it. Hey, some of the biggest stars out there now have went for the chrome dome look. In this day and age it seems to not matter that much when it comes to the hair thing on guys. Yet, so many just can’t let it go. To the point of hilarious absurdity.
Is it really that big a thing for you guys out there?
What about the ladies? Is a guy not having a full head of hair a deal breaker?
Would you date a guy with an obvious toupee?
I was completely bald at 20, it was difficult , but since I started losing my hair at 17, I was never carded – there are bennies in baldness. Less $ on hair products no combs to buy stuff like that
Hello UP!
You wear it well my man! Got the goatee thing going on. You do it right. Plus, think of all the cash you save on barbers!
Another groovy post. 🙂 I have nothing against people making gentle efforts to feel better about themselves, but given the choice, I’ll always vote for authenticity. My brother-in-law started balding in his early twenties, and I think he looks far more attractive in his natural state than with a wig (which he’s only donned as part of a costume). I also know, having worn wigs in the past, how incredibly uncomfortable they can be… Just as women are starting to embrace gray hair, I think more men should embrace baldness. Just MHO!
Hey August!
Thanks so much! You are right. Still, I think society and the media does play a role with mens’ and women’s image problems. Yet, the bad toupee thing with guys has been around for a long time now. As have combovers. The insanity must end! 🙂
Right on! Having spent years in the fashion industry, and now living in LA, I can vouch for the truth in your statement… It’s always nice to hear a man—or anyone—speak up about it.
Hey August!
Someone had to finally say it! 😉
Dude. Baldness may not be my thing–I prefer the matured gray look, but I know girls who have legit fetishes for bald men. Toupees? Not hot. Ever. At all.
Hey Chrissy!
Many bald guys looks good when kept neat and fresh. Toupees just look like a dead animal is on top of their heads.
If I ever get to the point of thinning/balding I hope someone shoots me if I start doing a wig or combover!
I have met some really attractive bald men and some men who shave their heads deliberately. So not sure what they have to gain by wearing a wig other than being a little on the weird side. Man up Guys!
And there is nothing worse than a comb over – no matter how good looking you are!
Hey Lanthie!
Most every combover I have seen looks ridiculous. I agree – the toupee thing is weird.
My husband has always said that when his hair thins too much he is going to shave it all off 🙂 I personally am fine with however much hair he has!
Hey Foodie!
Might as well shave it off instead of trying to fool everyone!
I’ve been follicly challenged since I was about 20 and have to admit that I’ve never been tempted to get a wig. Just accept it and run with it.
Your comment on keeping it shaved short is a good one and one that I’ve applied for many years. I think it looks smart and neat.
With little hair there are extra precautions needed such as avoiding sunburn.
If your observations are down to the dating scene then it certainly seems misguided by the offenders. Balding guys are desired by various women and whilst I won’t comment on myself, there is a perception that balding guys are more virile. 🙂
Hey Guy!
As someone with experience you know what I’m taking about!
Again, congrats on becoming a married man. You new bride is certainly into the bald look for sure. Being virile does help! 🙂
At the risk of sounding just a tad cheesy … it’s not what’s on top of the head but what’s inside it. A toupée is usually the first clue!
Hey Patricia!
You got that right. I couldn’t imagine going through life as a guy with a rug glued onto my head!
oh god, men with hair issues crack me up. I’ve only seen like 2 toupees in my life, but the comb-overs… oh god they’re everywhere! There needs to be a new halmark greeting card that says “Your comb-voer isn’t fooling anybody, go get a haircut.” I wish more men would just rock their natural hairline like good old SirPatStew.
Het Ali!
Captain Picard, The Rock, Bruce Willis, and Steve Austin all know better!
Also, look around a bit. More bad wigs and combovers out there than you realize!
My hub’s hair started receding in college. Now he shaves off what is left–Bruce Willis style–and looks very handsome. 🙂
The comb over is one of those things I find difficult to look away from–weirdly fascinating!
Hey Coleen!
The comb over is like a car accident – you just can’t look away!
Good to know you’re all into your guy’s look. Bruce still looks bad-ass! Yippe Kay Yay Mother F**ker! 🙂
I never understood men who did that… I feel like you’re 100% more attractive if you own the baldness. Any woman who cares that much about it, isn’t worth attracting.
xoxo,
Jules of Canines & Couture
http://www.caninesandcouture.com
Hey Jules!
Very true. I just don’t get guys with wigs and bad comb overs. They must know how bad it looks, right? Yet, there are many woman who won’t go for bald guys. Just personal preference I guess.
I’m with you! Rugs make men look older. It’s like when a woman gets a lot of work done on her face. It’s a sign of someone trying too hard. I say shave it off if you’re (not you, but in general) are going bald. Lots of ladies-and gents-like men with shaved heads.
Hey Holly!
I agree. So far I am lucky to have my hair, but if I do lose it the razor is coming out! No wigs on this dome!
Bald is sexy! I love your post! It made me laugh people are to much sometimes.
Hey Patricia!
Glad you got a laugh out of this post! People in general make me laugh. I just had to say it here!
I have hair, but have always said if I was bald, I’d roll with it. There’d be no fake hair on my head. The person who cuts my hair last time noted more gray hair, too. I shrugged and said “no biggie.” Never figured out why people worry so much about it!
Hey PJ,
I agree. I have some gray in there now too. I don’t care. Just happy to have a full head of hair!
Oh, Phil. Haven’t you heard? Bald is the new sexy! In fact, I did a whole blog post on it a while back called “Take It All Off” back in December. With men like Jason Statham, Shemar Moore, The Rock, Vin Diesel…not to mention the older (and still pretty hot) Bruce Willis…how can anyone think that being bald means anything but badass and quite sexy?
Hey Kitt!
My point exactly! Why wear a bad wig or sport a ridiculous comb over? All those guys you mention rock it hard and still kick ass. Going to see Fast & Furious this weekend so I can watch my fiancee’ drool over The Rock.
That’s weird so many men out there wear wigs. Yuck, I haven’t seen much of that out here. Most of the men that don’t have hair just go bald. I think the natural look is better just being bald than wearing a strange wig. This was a funny article. 🙂
Hey Susana!
Yeah, look around and you will catch some bad toupees and comb overs out there! Yes, I agree natural or shaved is better. Glad you enjoyed!
Nope… I love a smooth head on a black man. Gets me hot and bothered.
Hey Becca!
You like them smooth and sexy!
If you catch your baldness early you can try the drug Propecia. This drug actually does work, it will stop your hairloss and may even grow some back. I’m surprised no one has mentioned it on this site. My only regret is that I found out about it too late.
As soon as you notice scalp showing in the mirror then get on it. Sure it may have some side effects for some people but you’ll never know unless you try.
Hair loss greatly changes the way you look. Your hair frames your face! Just look at Prince William in his teens/early twenties and compare him to now. He looked like a male model back in the day!
Not only is hair cosmetic, it also serves a purpose – protecting you from the sun and also the cold. There is no evolutionary benefit of losing hair.
I think it’s ok to be bald when you get into your 40s/50s but everyone deserves a full head of hair in their 20s/30s. Those are the prime years of your life!
Hopefully they will cure this condition so that people who have already lost a substantial amount of hair can get their hair back. If you are just losing your hair you have options to hold onto it for quite some time.
Either way the writer Phil has no right to write this article, it’s only when you go through hair loss yourself that you know what it’s like!
Hi Ronnie,
Thanks for the comment. I agree with some of what you are saying here, but you have to realize this was a tongue in cheek article.
I have family members who are bald, and lost their hair at an earlier age. My dad is one of them. Yet, he did not go though the route of bad toupees and combovers. Even you have to admit some of these you see out there are horrid.
Sure, for many men it is a bad card to be dealt, and many have a hard time with it. Yet, there are also many in this day and age that embrace their baldness and look damn good with it.
Personally, I would never consider using a drug for the rest of my life to just grow back hair on my noggin. The long term side effects are still being researched, and to me taking a drug for something that is not life threatening for years is not worth the risk.
Again, I meant no harm or insult, as this was just an observational humor piece. I do appreciate the feedback you left.
I wear a wig. It really looks good on me and I’m not going to change it whether this whole planet likes it or not. COZ I LIKE IT AND I DONT CARE IF YOU OR ANY GIRLS IN THIS WORLD DONT LIKE IT. It requires balls to go against the the grain and do things which society and people like you dont accept. Society doesnt like people who fight for what they want. They like people who lay their arms down and go home admitting defeat.
Hey Ryan!
I appreciate the comment. More power to you if you can rock a toupee and look good in it. The bottom line is that most men do not look good wearing a wig. If it looks stylish on you then have at it and live your life.
Again, I meant no harm or insult, as this was just an observational humor piece. I do appreciate the feedback you left.
It’s so easy for you to imagine yourself without hair, but what if it really happened? Sorry, that’s where I stopped reading your nonsense judgemental rhetoric. Imagine being 18 and waking up with your teeth rotting the day before your high school picture, how would that feel? You’d probably photoshop your old smile in it. Get real! Stop judging people unless you feel their pain. I for one feel very strongly about people on the welfare system, people of color, immigrants, women, abortion, republicans, etc (and you name it) but I don’t go on rants about them because I have never walked a mile in their shoes. It’s ok for them to be who they are, and to create an image that makes them feel better about who they are. What is not ok is this post, teaching young boys that they are not the norm ( unlike the author in this case, who has been blessed with a full head of hair), creating a whole new category of self esteem issues, along with anorexia, bulimia, obesity… Etc… That seems to affect girls, but blatantly attacking boys (who will grow to be old feeling very bad about themselves thanks to the likes of you) is ok – according to you.
Hello James.
I appreciate you taking the time to comment. I am sorry you took this so seriously, as it was meant to be a humorous poke at those men out there who resort to the ridiculous when it comes to wearing bad hairpieces and combovers. Am I being judgemental? No, but I am pointing out the obvious.
My dad was bald at a young age. We never did a bad combover look or wore a wig. He accepted it and focused on more important things in life. If I suddenly lost my hair I could say with all certaintly that I would never toupee it of do the bad combover thing. I was raised to value self worth and not worry about the superficial when it comes to hair or looks. Personally, I was a fat kid growing up. I had to endure many taunts and the meanness of other kids and society, so I do know what it’s like to walk in other’s shoes, so to speak. It wasn’t until my older teen years that life changed for me.
Again, I meant no harm or insult, as this was just an observational humor piece. I do appreciate the feedback you left.
Actually they make some pretty damn good hair pieces that are for the most part undetectable by sight as long as you take care of them. I’m a guy in my mid 20’s who has significant hair loss for everyone to notice… The meds like Rogaine and Propecia did nothing except accelerate my hair loss and cause extreme psychological strain…. I shaved my head and as a fair skinned white dude I look terrible… I’m considering trying a hair piece as I am not ready to be noticably bald. If I were 40 it of course wouldn’t be a big deal, but not when I’m 20. I think because I have suffered from depression, I have accelerated the hair loss, because few in my family have the amount of hair loss I do…
I cant agree. I balded early but i am still devilishly attractive, so they say. But with that said, i have a full lace wig i wear sometimes, styled and groomed, and i clean up at the bar with that thing on. Usually one of my friends even blows up my spot out of jealousy, but its never effected the girl im talkin to. They just think im more darkly weird, which i am, and then we usually go f*ck… just sayin
Hey FarLeeZee!
Good for you! Heck, if you can flaunt the attractive bald look then work it!
Tell your wingman he needs to back off and let you do your thing with the ladies. Haha!
Heck, I wrote this post as partially tongue in cheek and most people get it. Yet, there is some truth here when I do see some really bad wigs and combovers out there every day. If you’re confident either way it sounds like you have a good grasp of it all.
I am 59 now & wore a wig for about 20 years. I got a lot of compliments on how I looked, but I was never comfortable wearing it, worrying about wind, windows down in the car or going on a bike ride. Once in a while I noticed people staring up past my eyes, so I knew it was not always fail safe. It made me a lot more aggressive & pissed off in life & I wish I had shaved my dome like I have it now. My best friend is 39 & talked me into not wearing a hat all the time & embracing the look of my life. Once I got a nice bronze on it I was really looking great. He equated it this way & I would like some opinions on it: ” some men love women with big asses but a most dont….some women like bald dudes but most dont. He said just be happy that there are SOME people who are not so superficial & can appreciate you the way you are. My own take on what he says is true, because I have had a few women bold enough to tell me, yeah if you had hair you would look even better than George Clooney. So its sort of like some guys think omg ,if she only had tits. Opinions….?
Hey Tom!
Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
This is a touchy subject for many. When I wrote this it was more of an observational humor rant. Tongue in cheek but also a bit honest. I still feel that 99% of men with combovers and toupees look bad and aren’t fooling anyone. It was not meant as a put down, but as a reality check.
I think many guys miss the point that there are many people who look good rocking the bald look. Some women love a guy with hair, but there are some who dig the hairless look too.
Sure, I have a head of hair still. My dad had always been on the bald side. You rock with what you have. Sounds like you made a solid choice and are happier now as a person.
Well I can tell you I had botched Surgeries that made me look like a freak with scarring and wore wigs for 14 years. Bald is ugly, bald is no way to be. Yuck but wigs are a pain in the butt and very very hard to wear as far as comfort goes. I eventually had repair work done and have a nice frontal look although the back is not full. It is so nice to have hair though as it truly frames a persons face. I never want to look like Ron Howard or Rob Reiner EVER! Hair rocks!!! You must live through bald to experience it and how horrible it feels. Just look at the ST Judes Hospital ads and see a balk Kid. Not cool at all and not cool in adults either. Do not fool yourself. If hair loss was so cool it would not be a Billion dollar a year industry for Hair Replacement. Drugs, surgeries and yes wigs make up that dollar amt. Even though I would not recommend wigs tell that to a 14 year old that hair is not important. Yes there are 14 year olds who must wear wigs due to alopecia and burn victims. As much as wigs are hated also they are still around and so are the shops that sell them and cut/style them. So that in itself tells you something. They have a purpose in the world. Even with all the jokes these shops are still in business so that speaks volumes now doesn’t it??
Hey David,
Thanks for commenting. I appreciate your viewpoint and am sorry to hear what you went through. Yes, there are certain instances where hair loss caused by illness or botched surgeries are the exception. Yes, I do feel for the children. But don’t confuse what was said here to be aimed at cancer victims. This tongue in cheek post was not aimed at those situations, hence I don’t fully agree when it comes to healthy normal guys who do the dumb-ass comb over look because of vanity. Sure, having a full head of hair is great, but balding and trying to cover it up with a ridiculous looking wig, hairpiece, or combing style is not fooling anyone.
Also, just like women’s magazines, websites, advertising and such that prey on and destroy women’s self esteem to make them think they are fat or unattractive so they spend billions of dollars on products don’t you think it’s the same with the billion dollar hair replacement industry? They make men feel unwanted and unattractive if they are balding to get them to spend billions on drugs and wigs and surgeries. Just because these shops and businesses are still around does not make it right.
Again, I do see your point of view too, and can’t imagine what you went through, so for that I do feel for you. No one should go through that.