It’s Monday morning and I already have started the day out with a “what the eff moment”. You all know how it is when you drag yourself out of bed, into the shower, and arrive at work with that first cup of hot coffee. You slowly wake up from the grogginess that drapes your brain. You get your desk situated and set up a plan of attack for the day, and for what comes before you over the afternoon. Your body as it awakens let’s you know that it needs to hit the bathroom to start your day off right. If any of you are like me sometimes all it takes is one cup of morning coffee and “whammo”! Time to poop! Ah, there is nothing like a good morning constitutional to start the day off right. Everything is moving along swimmingly until some idiot “Turd Burglar” comes along and messes up your whole routine.
I think it’s time for a bit of ranting when it comes to toilet etiquette. Now, I can’t speak about the women’s room situation so if any of the fairer sex want to pipe in just do so and let ‘er rip!
Please don’t stop me to chat when you see I am about to enter the men’s room. Especially if I have something to read with me. Doubly so if you see me running to the can!
For the love of God please flush the bowl. I really don’t want to walk into the abomination you left in there from last night’s Mexican feast you enjoyed.
What the heck is wrong with your aim! How hard is it to get your pee in the bowl/unrinal, and not all over the floor around it.
If you are going to pee all over the toilet seat at least wipe your nastiness off it.
I hate when I take my spot in a stall and get all comfortable, about to do my thing, and then a bunch of people walk in and start having a conversation. For ten minutes. Ugh.
Again, I do not want to talk biz matters with you in the bathroom. Can it wait until I finish crapping?
Also, do not try to have a conversation with me through the stall wall! I don’t care if you are working on a project with me. This is my “alone” time!
Why does it sound like the guy in the stall next to me is giving birth? Or about to have heart failure.
Please, if you are destroying the bowl how about a courtesy flush? I can’t breath over here!
You clogged the bowl and just left it like that? Use the plunger dude!
Please get off your damn Blackeberry or phone. Why are you having a conversation on the crapper anyway?
What is up with this one-ply crappy toilet paper? It’s like wiping with sand paper!
How can you idiots be so messy? The sink area is a disaster. Are you like this at home?
Dude, how much gas can you have? You sound like a you are popping bubble wrap in there.
Why is every stall occupied the one moment of the day I really need to go?
Yes, I am in this stall. Stop trying to break down the door! Damn Turd Burglar!
Have any of you experienced this kind of “crappy behavior” when just trying to use the bathroom in peace?
Who else has been a victim of the “Turd Burglar“?