Sometimes I really feel that companies who advertise think the American public are mindless stupid sheep. Do they really think we are that dumb? I’m one of those guys that has been around the block a few times, and have even become possibly a bit jaded living all these years in NYC. It takes a lot to pull the wool over this dude’s eyes. I can smell a scam a mile away. I don’t get fooled too easily or caught up in hype. Lately, I have seen and experienced things that make me laugh at the gall some businesses have. It has gotten to the point of exasperation with the ridiculousness of it all. I think it’s time for a ranting and raving session!
I saw probably the bazillionth car commercial last night that touts its “highway mileage”. Has anyone noticed over the last few years that car companies refuse to talk about the “city mileage” anymore in any of their commercials? We all know that cars get better gas mileage while driving longer distances on a highway, but most people use their cars for local driving. The automobile companies think they can fool us with the better highway number while ignoring that fact of the lower city mileage totally. I don’t know why it irks me considering I don’t own a car but it does.
The airlines are another one with their baggage fees. It’s a joke on the flying public, and a bad one at that. Now that it generates millions in revenue for the airlines it will never go away. I know I might catch some heat for this next rant but here it goes. Why do I get charged extra baggage fees for overweight luggage, but the very overweight person flying next to me is not charged for carrying extra weight on the plane with their body? If my bag is ten pounds over the weight limit I get stuck with paying more, but the person next to me who is sixty pounds overweight strolls on with no penalty. Does that make sense? All this extra weight is going on the same plane isn’t it?
Ever notice how the ads for that juicy burger, taco, or crispy fried chicken always looks so much better on the ads? Then we you go get one it looks like it’s been hit with a sledgehammer or dumped in a vat of grease? It’s amazing how agencies for fast food companies have made this an art form in trickery. They lure us in with drool inducing food images then serve us up a mediocre version of it. Yet, we still eat it.
Psychics have to be the biggest ruse I have ever seen. They have been popping up all around the city here. It amazes me that people really go to one, waste their hard earned money on them, and believe in anything they say. There is no such thing as a person who can contact the dead, decipher your future, or otherwise. There has never been, nor will there ever probably be any real hardcore scientific proof that psychics are real. It’s trickery at its finest. Most every psychic has been proved to be a hoax. Psychics play on the vulnerable with deception and a set of scam artists skills. You choose your own path in life, and there are many to take that determine how your life plays out. It’s called free will. Also, none have ever wanted to have their abilities tested under laboratory conditions and passed. Save your money and buy a lottery ticket as you have a better chance with that than handing over your cash to Miss Cleo!
What is it now with the car dealerships advertising cars using the lingo “pre-owned” or “gently driven” to describe what is really a USED car! It’s a damned USED car people! We used to always call them “used cars”. It’s all I could afford growing up. It’s what many of us bought as our first car to get around unless you were one of the few spoiled by your parents who purchased a brand new car for them. If someone else owned the car before you, drove it on a daily basis, and had it for any amount of time, it’s a USED car! Period!
So, are you really going to have me believe that all those young, beautiful, sexy girls are sitting around at midnight on a Friday or Saturday evening waiting for some faceless schlub loser to call them on the phone and hook up with them? The tv ads for all the “love connection” and “dating line” services make me roll my eyes. You really have to be a desperate and dumb man to waste your money calling these numbers and hoping to score with a chick that looks like a porn star in the commercials. Meanwhile, it’s probably some other schlub on the other end talking to you. Or another dude!
The public really has to be a bunch of morons to think all those diet pills that are advertised on tv and magazines really work. You can lose 30 pounds in 30 days! No dieting involved! No going to the gym and wasting your time lifting weights or boring treadmill workouts. Just take these pills or sprinkle this stuff on your food and the pounds will magically melt off! You will be a new person in no time with very little exercising involved! Say goodbye to that bloated tummy and back fat! Jeez people, really? Again, none of these things really work. Eat sensible nutritious meals, exercise, drink plenty of fluids, and move! Nothing works better than hard work and sweat. Avoid all the BS pills and fad diets.
Once and for all it’s called CHRISTMAS! Not happy holidays, merry holiday, or any other strange term this obnoxiously over politically correct country has invented. The correct way to say it is MERRY CHRISTMAS! It has been, always was, and forever will be CHRISTMAS! Now go jump off a bridge while I enjoy my cup of peppermint hot mocha!
Happy holidays my ass.