Category Archives: Weather

Running a Soggy but Exhilarating Brooklyn Half Marathon!

It’s been a week later now, yet I still feel waterlogged.

Running half marathons was something I swore I would never do. I still have this love/hate thing going on with running. I mean, I do love the feeling of running outside over a boring treadmill inside, but at times I would rather be eating Fritos and pizza on the couch. I know how that would turn out though, as I would resemble Jabba the Hut on his worst day. Oh, that reminds me, I must go see the new Solo Star Wars flick as it looks pretty decent. As long as the dude playing Solo doesn’t turn out to be another Hayden Christensen/Darth Vader which was god-awful at best.

First up though is Deadpool! Ryan Reynolds has totally redeemed himself from that cringe-inducing neon suit as Green Lantern.  He resembled a glow in the dark apple Jolly Rancher with a great coif. Swoon…. Continue reading Running a Soggy but Exhilarating Brooklyn Half Marathon!

Spring is in the Air! Along with Running, Pollen, and Breakups.

Gadzooks, that was one long, drawn-out Winter season.

Here in the NYC area it seemed like the Winter that would never end. Like Cousin Eddie in those “Vacation” movies he arrived like a virus, and never received the hint to get his obnoxious ass to go away. It was a strange one, as it really didn’t snow all that much, but the cold, wet, windy, dreary days seemed to drag on forever. When we saw snow here in April that was the last straw. People were flipping their lids. People were actually getting angry. Weather rage?

The local news weather forecasters almost had to go into the “witness protection program”, and don’t even get me started on that damn woodchuck! Continue reading Spring is in the Air! Along with Running, Pollen, and Breakups.

Happy 2018! New Me. New You. Oh, Stop The BS!

First things first. Happy New Year! Here’s to a healthy, happy, safe, and prosperous 2018!

I don’t know where you all live, but it’s freaking cold here in the Northeast. As cold as a polar bear’s anus. Colder than Jack Frost’s taint. So cold that my sphincter packed up and moved to Miami for the winter! All it left behind was a post-it note telling me it decided to live the life of a “snow bird”. Adios amigo!

I won’t even tell you where it adhered the note to. Let’s just say it was a rude awakening when I got up this morning and stumbled half asleep into the bathroom. Inconsiderate bastard didn’t even say goodbye! That’s what I get for all those years of a “soft touch” and Cottonelle. No appreciation whatsoever! Continue reading Happy 2018! New Me. New You. Oh, Stop The BS!

It was shrinkage, Jerry! Shrinkage! It was cold outside!

Holy crap, what the heck am I doing out here in 26 degree weather? I think I’ve made a huge mistake!

My slightly warped mind always seems to head back to that episode of Seinfeld. Whenever I am subjected to some pretty brutal weather conditions which makes my nether regions retreat up into my body like a turtle hiding in it’s shell. When it’s that cold outside in NYC, “shrinkage” is the appropriate reasoning for any gent trying to defend the rationale of “diminished manhood”!

I was shrinkage, Jerry! SHRINKAGE!!! Continue reading It was shrinkage, Jerry! Shrinkage! It was cold outside!