Category Archives: Junk TV

Snowstorm Jonas had one huge set of snowballs on him!

 

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Epic NYC snowstorm that was a blast from the past!

Some of you spoiled millennials whining and crying about the snow, the harsh winter, the sudden cold, and not being able to go out need to get a grip. Waaah – I can’t get to Starbucks! Waaah – I can’t go to brunch today!

This past decade has seen so many mild winters you have no clue. Crap, it was 70 on Christmas here. What more do you want? This winter has been like a flaccid penis until this fluffer of a storm dropped to its knees and went to work in front of Old Man Winter. Yeah, Jonas has no shame. He worked hard for every inch.

Back in my day we normally had winter snowstorms every week, for months, and walked miles to school, uphill, with bare feet, then walked ten miles into town and worked hard labor, and then walked back home in the middle of another blizzard! Hey you kids – off my lawn! Continue reading Snowstorm Jonas had one huge set of snowballs on him!

Reboots and Remakes are Ruining Our Childhoods!

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Enough already with all the freaking reboots!

That’s the first thing that came into my head when I read that the Fresh Prince of Bel Air is being rebooted for TV. Why? Is this really necessary? I’ll be the first to admit that I used to watch and like the show but it wasn’t blockbuster viewing entertainment. It’s just getting ridiculous that TV and Hollywood are shoving all these remakes, reboots, and reimaginings down our throats with no end in sight. Most of them fail miserably or pale in comparison. Can’t they come up with anything new and creative anymore? There has to be so many more inventive ideas out there other than to keep rehashing the series and flicks we loved and which became part of our lives. Continue reading Reboots and Remakes are Ruining Our Childhoods!

So, did they start playing the Super Bowl yet?

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I’ll admit that I did not watch the Super Bowl. Nope, not one minute, not one play, not even a peek. You must all be asking how is that possible? Blasphemy! This is an American holiday now. How can you not watch? It’s the big game! The epicenter of all sports tv programming! The monster truck show climax of the NFL season! The big cheese! The big sombrero! For the whole enchilada! Ole’!

Hmmm…..I am suddenly craving some Mexican for lunch today. Tacos maybe? A burrito? I hope the bathroom at work will be empty later. Gonna be ugly. Wait….what was I talking about? Oh yeah, that football game that was played Sunday night. Get back on track Phil and stop getting veered off course by thoughts of delicious food. As I was saying it is a fact that I did not watch any of the Super Bowl this past Sunday, and honestly by seeing the final score and highlights (or lowlights if you’re a Broncos fan) I did not miss anything at all! This was an embarrassing abomination of a game. One of my friends said it best – “They should label the Broncos as the new Keystone Cops of the Super Bowl and play the old Benny Hill theme music over the highlights.” I do have to offer congrats to the Seattle Seahawks being crowned Super Bowl Champions as they totally destroyed Denver and left no doubt on that playing field. Yet, other than if you’re a Seahawks fan what joy is there of watching a boring non-competitive game of 43-8? After seeing the post-game updates on ESPN this game was literally over after the botched opening snap by Denver within the first 12 seconds! Continue reading So, did they start playing the Super Bowl yet?

Go screw your 2014 New Year’s Resolutions!

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Every year it seems we are all pressured to come up with New Year’s resolutions as if trying to enrich our lives and send us on a path of health and inner happiness. We are trapped into a way of thinking that if we make a list of idiotic things to acccomplish that our lives, and those around us, will be all for the better. I call BS on that! Not one year in my life have I actually accomplished any resolution I made on New Year’s day. Do you all realize how hard it really is? Then, we all get that abject feeling of failure that inevitably accompanies each resolution downfall. Well, I for one say “NO MORE”! It’s time to do away with this stupid tradition and come up with a better plan. Therefore, I propose to you that we set up a list of “Anti-Resolutions” for the New Year! Things that we can honestly have a chance of succeeding at. Think of it as the “Festivus” of New Year’s!

Here is my list of Anti-Resolutions that I know I will accomplish –

1. Eat more bacon. There is no way in Hell that I will blow this one. How can I not succeed? It’s the meat candy of the world and I would bathe in it if I could. Continue reading Go screw your 2014 New Year’s Resolutions!