Category Archives: Hygiene

I am judging you. I’m judging you hard, New Yorkers.

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As I am turning into a human bathhouse walking the streets of NYC I look around and view people of all types seemingly oblivious to the NYC summer heat and humidity. I don’t get it. There are those walking past me with layers of clothes on, heavy jackets, and thick jeans. Like it’s cold out. I am not kidding here as during my 5 mile run last night in Central Park I actually saw a dude jogging in jeans! IN JEANS! Can you just imagine peeling those off after that? Muenster cheese anyone?

Pretty much how I feel walking around NYC during this heat and humidity – Continue reading I am judging you. I’m judging you hard, New Yorkers.

Days like this make you wish you had stayed in bed!

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Why is it that these things always seem to happen to me?

Just recently on the way to work I jumped into a crowded subway car, and of course as is my normal luck, be trapped in an uncomfortable situation. No, not the kind where someone is grinding up against you and getting their jollies. That happens so often here in NYC during rush hour it’s almost part of the daily commute. No, this was actually worse. The guy standing right next to me, almost in my lap actually, smelled like festering day old bologna. No joke. It’s almost as if he had a salami sandwich stuffed into his underwear. Oh yeah, the AC was also not really working in this car.

Then, the worst thing you can hear during a moment like this. “Due to a signal malfunction we are being held here until we get the ok to proceed”.  Oh hell no. Stuck between stations for who knows how long, and with no windows open to let out the stench of rotting deli meat. This subway car was so packed no one could move. Even worse was I think the guy behind me was really grinding against my ass. All I kept thinking was that I was going to walk into work smelling like this bologna guy and my coworkers would want to fumigate the office.

So here I am wedged between a roll of human liverwurst and a giant Chihuahua dry humping my leg. Could this day get any worse? You bet it can! Continue reading Days like this make you wish you had stayed in bed!

People Who Deserve a Throat Punch at the Magic Kingdom!

 

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As many of you following my blog probably know I was away on vacation last week. Traveled down to the “Scary Land” known as Florida. Yup, the state where most of the weird news and happenings seem to come from that populate my Facebook news feed. The territory of Cracker Barrel, Denny’s, and Waffle House. It’s like redneck nirvana down there. A place where the drivers are horrible. Where blue hairs roam the land like zombies, and Billy Bobs with big guts, mullets, and bigger belt buckles dominate the landscape. I swear a passport should be required to go into and out of Florida. This strange populace is lorded over by the man, um rat, himself – Mickey Mouse. Of course, no trip to the Orlando area would be complete without a pilgrimage to the Magic Kindom and Disney World parks! Yes, I do admit that I still love the Disney parks. I’m just a big kid, and will always be one. The rides, the characters, the food, the movies, the shows, all still enthrall me. My family has a terrific timeshare about a mile from the front gate of the parks that we have had forever, and spending time with the parental units at Disney World is always fun.

Yet, as I get a bit older I am losing patience with the things that some of the idiots from around the country, and world, seem to do when here. I think it’s time for a Disney rant! Here is a short list of things that makes me want to punch someone in the throat!

1 – Parents that can’t, or refuse, to control their spawn. Ok, I get it, kids will be kids. It’s a long day at the parks, and can get hot and sweaty. Kids get cranky and tired. Those I can deal with. It’s the parents that won’t even try to calm their unruly kids down or take them outside when in full screaming meltdown mode that irks me. It’s your child – deal with it. Don’t make the rest of us suffer. I’m here to have fun too. Sorry your spawn from Hell is ruining your Disney experience. Don’t ruin mine. Have a magical day! Continue reading People Who Deserve a Throat Punch at the Magic Kingdom!

The infuriating freakshow follies of lunchtime in NYC.

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What is the deal with some people and their lunchtime eating habits? Here in NYC we are surrounded by places to eat lunch from delis, to bodegas, restaurants, and fast food. One of the most common during the workdays that many of us frequent are the multi-station delis with the hot and cold pay by the pound buffets. Nothing wrong with this as I enjoy getting my lunch off of these throughout the week, and I can mix and match whatever strikes my fancy at the time. Except when I have to deal with the general public and the nasty things I see them do around these food stations. Just a few examples of what we encounter on a daily basis when out foraging for a lunch meal –

1) The inconsiderate jerk who sneezes into the food. Nothing grosses me out more than when I see someone sneeze right onto the open food stations and doesn’t even bother to cover their nose. It’s like a watching a high power water sprinkler blast everything with mucus spray and disease. I swear this is how everyone will become infected and start the zombie apocalypse. It won’t start at some CDC center or faraway land. It will begin in the tray of baked salmon and soba noodles at my local deli. Continue reading The infuriating freakshow follies of lunchtime in NYC.