Category Archives: Humor

OK, it’s so hot in NYC we are melting! We are MELTING!

Yes, it does feel a tad bit sweaty outside.

Summertime is supposed to be warm, we get that. I know that we can all expect muggy days here and there. Bright weekends at the park. Sun drenched days at the beach. The occasional hot and humid afternoons. Summer in NYC is usually filled with these types of days, but hot damn, this heat wave is hotter than Satan’s asshole! Another day of record heat in the 90’s that actually feels like it’s over 100 outside. Is this some kind of crazy joke that Mother Nature is pulling on us? I feel like I am actually melting if I stay outside for more than a few minutes! I can smell the soles of my sneakers burning!


I actually read today on the Gothamist that NYC broke the all time power record usage. Good lord I hope that ConEd can keep up with the power demand during this heat wave. No way in Hell that anyone wants to deal with a power outage right now. Even the Pillsbury Doughboy would end up baking like a croissant on the sidewalk out here. I am ready too see people explode in spontaneous combustion.

Mmmm……croissants. Continue reading OK, it’s so hot in NYC we are melting! We are MELTING!

Things we stand in line for in NYC. That’s Cray Cray!


We who live here in NYC spend an awful lot of time standing around in lines waiting for things. I’ll admit, at times I am one of those fools too, but as I am getting older (and more wiser) I have to say that I just don’t have the patience for it anymore. I mean, if it’s for something extremely worthwhile such as free concert tickets or to a special event that just might entice me. Otherwise, don’t expect me to waste hours of my precious time on a slow moving line with a bunch of other noobs for anything. We are a fast paced city here. We act and move quickly. We hustle. Why anyone would lose precious sleep or time to wait for certain things on long ass lines just goes to show the extent some will go through. Call it nutty, call it absurd, just don’t call it logical. Some of these people are totally Cray Cray!

The movies are one. Why do people here in NYC feel the need to wait on mega long lines just to go see a popular movie on opening night? That is the worst time to go. Plus, the theater is packed with annoying people who won’t shut up, have their phones on during the movie, obnoxious little kids, crying babies, and there is usually the freakishly tall person who just happens to take the seat right in front of you. Thanks for blocking my view Gigantaur! Buy your tickets on-line or in advance and wait a few days. Even better, just wait a few weeks and it will be on DVD! Continue reading Things we stand in line for in NYC. That’s Cray Cray!

It’s all Penis Politics in NYC!

image001Oh, how the mighty have fallen LIMP but now RISE to the occasion when it comes to NYC politics! Like another shot of viagra into the NYC political scene we now have reports of disgraced former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer wanting to jump back into the fray, and headlines, of the upcoming elections. Seems as if “Client 9”, as he was known to his arranged hookers, wants to run for the office of NYC Comptroller. Not only does this reek of desperation, and that of a man so crazily determined to hold a position of power again, that it’s almost pathetic. What’s even more pathetic to me is that his wife actually stayed with him after it was revealed he had spent around $100,000 on about 20 visits to high paid “talent”. What was she thinking? Does Eliot have a “magic penis” or something? Does it sing and dance? Does it do the laundry too? Can it make me a sammich? ( Strike that last one – don’t want to know where the special sauce comes from! ) Continue reading It’s all Penis Politics in NYC!

Travel for 4th of July? Are you nuts? I’ll stay right here in NYC!

I5tM7mxqNIf you are one of the thousands that look to the July 4th holiday weekend as a time to head out on vacation, BBQ, spend time with family, or to just kick back and enjoy the lazy days of summer then by all means have at it. We here in NYC are already experiencing the annual “bug out” of city that happens every year during this holiday. Almost everyone makes a mad dash to pack, grab a car, plane or train, and head out to the Jersey shore, Hamptons, or some beach somewhere. Watching the news this morning they showed reports of crowded airports and bumper to bumper roadways. I used to be one of those robots that thought it was a must to jump into that holiday travel nightmare. I used to sit in my car traveling at a snail’s pace, or in an airport with screaming kids and flight delays, paying for overpriced hotel rooms and gasoline price gauging. I used to try and justify it all in my mind saying that this is what everyone does, so it’s cool to be doing it too. The pain of travel is part of the adventure. Then I remembered that we would also have to suffer through this Hell a few days later heading home. Nothing is worse than the torture of knowing you have to go back to work drained and exhausted from that long trip home. Continue reading Travel for 4th of July? Are you nuts? I’ll stay right here in NYC!