Christmas has come and gone once again. It wasn’t too bad this year, and no one was injured during the family get together. No blood was spilled or limbs torn off. That’s a plus I guess. When it was over we were able to escape into the darkness of the evening, and head home to the pure bliss of silence while sitting on the couch with a bottle of wine. Now, don’t get me wrong as I really do
hate tolerate want to deport love my family members.
Yes, Christmas brings out the best and worst in families. Surviving the holidays is the ultimate in ecstasy. It’s exhausting, and leaves you lying in a puddle of sweat while panting and out of breath. Like sex but more satisfying! Yet, it seems like it takes way more work to get to the end. Satisfying or not. Is the effort worth it? Continue reading Christmastime Calamity and the Essence of Ecstasy!
I just don’t get the boner over pumpkin spice friggin’ everything that occurs in this country as soon as Labor Day hits. It’s like the official first day of Fall happens when coffee shops start promoting this vile tasting oversweet concoction. White girls in yoga pants come out of the woodwork like an army of pumpkin zombies and run to get a cup. Now, I’m not saying I hate pumpkin as in fact I love me a good slice or two of pumpkin pie during the holiday season. Throw on a scoop of good old fashioned vanilla ice cream and I’m in dessert bliss. It’s just that the sheeple in this country go way overboard with this nasty trend. Most things that are pumpkinated are really not that good, and taste either really bland or super sugery. Not withstanding the fact that many of these pumpkined food and drinks are filled with chemicals to attain the fake flavor we put in our bodies which can’t be all that healthy. Yuck. Sorry, but I’ll pass. Not a pumpkin spice fan. Sorry, not sorry. Continue reading Fall Season, Pumpkin Spice, and Sheeple in a NYC world!
Happy Labor Day everyone!
Hope you all are taking it slow and enjoying a day off from work. If your company is open today and they are forcing you to slave away for “the man” then I must say I feel sorry for you. Those companies are un-American! Close the damn biz for a day and let everyone enjoy a holiday of debauchery and reckless abandon. Or, just so many can actually get some sleep and be a lazy sloth for the day. It’s all good either way. This is Amurrica! Slap some hotdogs and burgers on the grill. Devour those carcinogens! Hit the beach in wildly inappropriate bathing suits that show off those jelly rolls. Skin cancer be damned! Drink until you puke. After holiday hangovers are special! Go see Guardians of the Galaxy again. After all, DC comics can’t seem to come out with a movie lately and Marvel is kicking their ass! Bring your kids to the mall to let them run wild like obnoxious brats and annoy the crap out of everyone else while you shop in blissful ignorance. Well, actually, we hate these parents. What I’m trying to say is go out and enjoy the day off if you can, as Labor Day is meant to be a day of relaxation from the daily grind of the rat race we live in. Continue reading Labor Day, disgusting sights, celebrities, and NYC life.
Ok, here we go with another Valentine’s Day (massacre) again. I have yet to buy a card or set up flowers to be delivered. Yes, I am one of those dudes that wait all until the last possible minute to actually hit a store and get something for my gal. I mean, what’s the big deal with women when it comes to this overhyped commercialized Hallmark holiday? Bleech. I’m already seeing all kinds of posts on Facebook referring to wonderful plans all these couples have set up for the big day of forced romance. Gag me. Then come Feb 14th all the women will be posting pics of flowers and gifts that their guys sent them. Oh c’mon already. Isn’t a bucket of KFC extra crispy and furry handcuffs enough to make a gal swoon? It’s the gift that keeps on giving! Nothing says romance like greasy fried chicken and sex toys. Are you all feeling me out there? Don’t even get me started on the flowers part. It’s the one time of year that a bouquet of roses cost as much as diamonds. He went to Jared? Nope! He went to Subway with the other Jared and used some of that cash on a $5 foot long. He then hit the local bodega and scored a dozen roses for $10 on the way home. Yessir! I go all out for my main squeeze. Nothing but the best. It’s how I roll! Continue reading A Manly Man’s Guide to Valentine’s Day Romance in NYC.