As I am sitting here in my favorite coffee shop on the Upper East Side on this cold and blustery NYC morning I’m looking out the window and pondering the sweet mysteries of life. Most notably right now I’m watching the wind blow around the snow flurries that are coming down. Snow! God damn snow! It’s supposed to be Spring dammit! Go away Winter, enough already. I’ll be the first to admit I do like the colder dry air of the winter season but this is getting on my last nerve. All I ask for now is a few days of sunny weather in the 50’s at this point. Is that asking too much? Oh great, now it’s really coming down. It looks like we’re inside a giant snow globe. It’s 33 and snowing out yet there are some idiots walking by wearing shorts. People here are getting so pissed off at the weather they are rebelling. That’s all cool as I’m kind of like that too, but I’m not dumb enough to go out and catch pneumonia. As they saying goes, I might be dumb but I ain’t stupid! Continue reading Snow, Selfies, Fires, Sniffing Glue – Another Week in NYC!→
I just can’t help myself. Call it being evil, lack of compassion, or just plain juvenile. I get a kick out of other’s minor misfortunes. Namely, those that deserve it here in NYC. You know the types. Those who are overly self centered, inconsiderate, snarky, or just plain douchebags. Nothing wrong with a good chuckle at their misfortune. Then again, I laugh at pretty much anyone when the time, and ridiculous circumstances arise. Lord knows I have had my share of mishaps that had people giggling at my displeasure. I have slipped and fallen flat on my back, strepped into piles of dog poop that engulfed my whole foot, and even walked through a plate glass door. Oh, that last one has happened a few times. How I’m not stitched up like Frankenstein escapes me. I know karma is a bitch, but I still have at it when seeing someone first hand do something dumb, or have something idiotic happen to them. Winter season here in NYC is such a great time to people watch and get my jollies. Here are a few that get my funny bone going. Schadenfreude is my co-pilot. Continue reading Karma, Schadenfreude, and Laughing at Winter Morons in NYC.→
In honor of Valentine’s Day I’m going to go all reverse romance here. Let’s be real. It’s a made up holiday that benefits the greeting card industry and florists. Overpriced sappy cards and jacked up flower costs. Not to mention the horribly expensive and limited VDay pre-fixe menus here in NYC that are shoved down our throats like a ball gag in 50 Shades. Oh, and that horrible book has been made into a movie that just came out in time for the holiday weekend. Suburban sex starved soccer moms are rejoicing in giddy orgasmic bliss! Seriously, if any dudes are dragged to this mess to see it with their gals they might as well wear a skirt and apply a tampon up their mangina. Rotten Tomatoes has given it a dismal approval rating of 29% while IMDB has a rating of one and a half stars. Yet, I read there are plans to already make sequels. It’s just amazing to me what garbage the American public will consume for entertainment like cattle being led to the slaughter. They are making the author a ton of money like she is in the same writing league as J.K. Rowling. It’s just not right. Then again, if this is what passes for quality erotica nowadays then have at it I guess. I’m just happy to have a great gal with me that would rather go see the new action movie The Kingsmen, then head out for drinks after at a dive bar and listen to heavy metal from the jukebox. Now THAT is romance!
Also, as a great alternative to the movie and actually very funny parody of the book if you ever have a chance to see this musical in NYC then do it – 50 Shades! The Musical. Literally, the actor who portrays Mr Gray just kills it!
Hey, I know everyone is different and some love Valentine’s Day. They clamor that goopy cringe inducing stereotype of what the meaning of the day is meant to represent. Each has their own taste when it comes to romance and what gets their rocks off in the bedroom. Do whatever works for you I say. In the spirit of creepy chubby flying angels, cavity forming conversation hearts, broken flavored condoms, and heart shaped boxes of stale chocolates I present a few images in honor of this day of love! Ahhhh romance….. Continue reading Valentine’s Day in NYC. Forever alone or happily psychotic!→
Seriously, what the heck are you dragging around in there? I have often wondered that myself on a daily basis here in NYC as I see people from all walks of life wearing backbacks nowadays. Growing up I never wore one of these things. In fact, I never even owned one until recently when I received it as a reward for a charity event I participated in. I used it once to carry my necessities to the Tough Mudder I did a few months back. Now it sits in a corner of my closet gathering dust and taking up space. I just don’t get why so many people see fit to wear these things every day back and forth to work or wherever they are going. I hate carrying around anything extra with me, or on me, when heading out of our apartment. I like to be loose and free. It just irritates me to no end when some of these backpack morons push into a crowded subway car wearing these things and blast me with it. Common courtesy dictates one takes it off when we are all packed in like sardines in the human orgy and non-consenting grinder that is the NYC subway system. Bad enough when some weirdo stranger, smelly dude, or over perfumed lady is rubbing up against you in a not so convivial or welcomed manner. Hey, rush hour on the NYC MTA will certainly force you to know your fellow New Yorkers up close and personal whether you like it or not! Having a backpack slammed into your face is even better! Not! I almost went all “road rage” on some hipster doofus the other day who kept hitting into me with it but refused to take it off. Really, what is so important that you need this thing attached to you? What are you hiding in there? Hmmmmm…….. Continue reading Hey NYC – What the heck is in that backpack?→