Category Archives: Douchebaggery

Fall season is finally here and the rantings continue!

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It’s been a while since I let out my frustrations. So many things that make me want to scream out loud and bang my head against the wall lately. Sometimes, these same irritants come around seasonally, and others come out of left field like a pigeon taking a dump on my head. Let’s start with the most obvious one. And away we go!

1) Pumpkin everything – Really, what the heck? How can such a little used member of the squash family make everyone become so crazed once Labor Day hits? It’s like the population becomes hypnotized and metamorphosizes into zombies craving brains, um, pumpkin flavored everything. Sure, I love me some pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving, but enough is enough. Let’s be real here – most of these over-flavored pumpkin foods and drinks taste like crap anyway. Either way too sweet or just bland.

2) The hot weather – I am so sick of the warm humid swamp ass weather. I am so ready for the cool, crisp, dry and comfortable Fall season. Can Summer please just go away already. I’m done with you. Bye Felicia! Continue reading Fall season is finally here and the rantings continue!

Riding Hell in a Handbasket all the way to NYC

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You ever go through a day and wonder where has all the time gone?

It’s become one of those days that even if I cloned myself there would still not be enough time to get everything done. I am sitting here taking a breather while wolfing down lunch just to type this while on another window trying to answer all my emails. It’s a repetitive vicious cycle that never seems to end. On one side I feel as if I’m all caught up and raring to go as if I’m pumped up on Viagra and Red Bull, and then on the other I’m all limp as a wet noodle running in quicksand and just can’t get invigorated enough to jump over the hump. My brain feels like a bowl of jello, and not one of the good flavors. More like that green lime monstrosity that no one really seems to like. Maybe I need a mental health day soon. A day to chill out with a few drinks and lay in the sun. I really don’t take enough days off. Maybe it’s just me but I feel that if I take a well deserved day off now and now everything will end up as “Hell in a Handbasket”. Then it’s more of a shit show to deal with when I get back. I need a day soon.

Even then, as I close my eyes and let that warm sun drench my face the bluebird of happiness would probably take a seagull sized dump on my head. Isn’t life swell? Continue reading Riding Hell in a Handbasket all the way to NYC

Happy White People Getting Drunk Day! Cinco de Mayo!

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Happy White People Getting Drunk Day!

Here we are again at another borderline holiday that really makes no sense at all here in NYC, or in all of the United States really. It’s just another excuse for white people, bro’s and fratties, among legions of suburbanites, to go out and get shit-faced on cheap tequila, margaritas, and Coronas! Now, I’m not saying that myself or my friends have never done the sombrero crawl on May 5th partying it up for Cinco de Mayo, but I’m pretty much over the amateur hour of drunkenness to celebrate a long ago Mexican battle. The date is actually observed to commemorate the Mexican army’s improbable victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. It’s a sense of pride for many in that country. It is NOT Mexico’s Independence Day, which is on September 16th. Just sayin’.

Then again, does anyone really care here in the States? Not really, as it’s just another reason to go out after work and get polluted while eating at bad Mexican restaurants and feasting on nachos and tacos. We all love tacos! There are so many ways to make them – meat, fish, vegan – that there is something for everyone’s tastes. Helps soak up all the booze too. Here’s another fun fact – it’s also Taco Tuesday! Continue reading Happy White People Getting Drunk Day! Cinco de Mayo!

Come on parents, stop taking your kids to casinos!

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Yeah, I know I’ll catch flack from a certain segment of parents out there who will scream from the rafters that we should back off and stop berating them for how they raise their spawn. Maybe even a few who read this blog will let me have it. Well, I just don’t care.

You see, I have had it with improper parenting and so have many people who I know. After traveling across country on a biz trip to Las Vegas for the umpteenth time once again I saw things that made me cringe. The bottom line is how I feel about taking small children to casinos. Stop it. Just stop. Really, parents, STOP bringing your kids to casinos. Sure, Vegas is going through another transition again where they are trying to portray themselves as a cross-breeding science horror experiment of Sin City and Family Friendly, but that still does not mean you should drag little Johnny and Kimmie there for a family vacation. Yes, I know that Vegas features many great spots to eat, terrific shows and entertainment, fabulous resort hotels with awesome pools and amenities, along with things to do off the Strip. Parents that I saw with their kids in tow at all hours of the day and night will argue until their last breath that it’s a wonderful destination to bring the whole family. Sorry, I’m just not buying into it. Continue reading Come on parents, stop taking your kids to casinos!