Welcome Welcome Welcome! Come on in. Let me take that coat. Saunter up to the bar and have a cocktail. Mix and mingle. What’s that you say? Why yes, this soiree is pants optional. I would have it no other way. Have some chips and dip. I made it myself with my special sauce. Secret ingredient that adds a little kick to it. Don’t even ask. So glad you could all cum, and not too early either. No one wants to be arrive prematurely. Kind of spoils the fun, and your underwear. Yet, this is a way to get a good seat for all the action. Relax! Spread your legs, enjoy, and let many sordid tales be told. I even wore my studded assless leather chaps for this one. Yes, I dress to impress.
Just wanted to offer a big shout out to all my guests! Thanks for dropping in. I see some of you even dressed for the occasion. Oh honey, you shouldn’t have worn that. Dude, does your mommy dress you in the dark. You purposely trying not to get laid? Oh, I kid, I kid. No really. Yes, I do. No. So glad you could all make it to my first ever virtual blog party where you get to take over my abode of a twisted blog. Don’t mind some of the creepers lurking around here. I’m sure by the end of the night anyway you’ll all be half naked in the bathroom doing strange things with my loofah to each other. All I ask is that you clean up after your nasty selves, and if some of you pervs end up in my bedroom be prepared to enter the world of internet porn. Not saying I have cameras hidden around my place. Oh, did you remember to sign the waiver and bring it with you? Just want to be protected in case some of you do damage to yourselves playing with the sex swing and assorted toys laying about. They are just for display purposes only. Wink Wink. Oh, don’t mind that little red light in the bookcase and behind the mirror. It’s nothing. Really. Continue reading “Does This Rag Smell Like Chloroform” Blog Party in My Pants!
Sometimes you stumble into a situation that you immediately regret. You see things that cannot be unseen. Things that can turn your stomach. I don’t know what it is lately here in NYC but I have a knack for walking into people going at it in a revolting display of public affection. You know the type. The couple that disgustingly can’t keep their hands off each other and feels the need to show off to the world their love. Case in point the other afternoon when I decided to have my lunch in the park. We have had some beautiful summer weather and having lunch on a park bench seemed like a good idea. Sunglasses on, chicken wrap in my hand, a cold iced tea, and the warm sun on my face as I leaned back to relish in the moment. A moment that was suddenly ruined by the sounds of wet slurping noises. At first I thought it was a panting dog sitting next to me until I looked over and saw this couple in the full throes of tonsil hockey! I mean, they were going at it relentlessly. I really think he was going in so deep that he was trying to dig out her fillings with his tongue. I’m surprised he did not pass out from lack of oxygen since it looked like she was devouring his whole face with an air lock. The absolute horror of what I was witnessing transpired fully when I realized these were not young kids but a couple that were old enough to be my parents!!!
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! MY EYES!!!!!! Continue reading Summertime tonsil hockey, PDA’s, and love lines in NYC!
Laughed our asses off from start to finish. 50 Shades! The Musical is an absolutely hysterical skewering of the book 50 Shades of Grey. This was a total raunchfest with so many funny lines, zingers, and double-entendres throughout. The songs were brilliant on the scale of the dirtiest South Park comes up with. Sharp writing and brisk direction made this 90 minute show breeze by. So many laughs. So much fisting!
Eye candy for the ladies, and some eye candy for the men. Even a really funny full-on banging simulated sex session in the middle of the audience that took everyone by surprise and elicited uproarious laughter! Continue reading 50 Shades! The Musical. Raunchy, filthy, sexy fun in NYC.
There seems to be something in the air. I have viewed this recurring scene what seems like over and over on the streets of NYC during the Spring season many times over the years I have lived here. Couples fighting. In public. One calling the other a few choice names. An exasperated look on their faces. Tears. Anguish. Anger. Usually, it ends with one walking away and leaving the other in the dust. Yes, Spring Breakup Season has arrived!
When Spring finally greets us here in NYC it seems to set off a chemical receptor in people which alerts them that it’s time to remove ths shackles and become uncuffed from their significant others that they have endured the last five months of Winter with. Maybe it’s the fact that they can’t seem to deal with the cabin fever of being stuck inside with the same person after a long wintry season, and when those first days of warmth arrive and those wondrous rays of sunlight hit their faces they can think of one thing only.
“I must dump this person and be single for the Summer!” Continue reading Spring is in the air so it’s Breakup Season in NYC!