My mind works in mysterious ways at times. My eyes see things that make me ponder the meaning of life. That, or just makes me think people around me are totally cray cray!
How is it that I can hear your music blasting through your ear buds while we are on the subway? I am also listening to my tunes with an ipod and can still hear yours. Enjoy the hearing loss buddy. Sucks that your hearing was ruined by the Black Eyed Peas or some weird grunting screaming death metal.
Why is the local deli I go to in the mornings on the way to work playing Christmas music already? It’s still November. Not even Thanksgiving! They have been playing it over a week now. Soon we will be hearing it the morning after Labor Day! Gotta get that holiday shopping in early!
Which brings me to Black Friday. Hellz no! Ain’t no way in heck you will see me anywhere near a store on that day. Look up the words “self torture” and Black Friday should be listed under it. Can’t people just enjoy a day off and not shop for a day? Most of the deals are a sham anyway. Plus, the people jamming into these stores make the “People of Walmart” look good.
Yet, I also still see the baggy-ass pants dudes walking around. Pants barely hanging on dropping down to their thighs while showing off their nasty underwear. Crotch down to their knees. C’mon guys, this is just a dumb look and is so over. Pull up your pants already – you’re a grown man! (Now if only I can get my uncle to stop doing it)
Why do people order a small diet soda to go along with their Whopper or Big Macs and large fries?
Why would any man in his right mind date Taylor Swift? You just know she is counting down the minutes in her head to when you break up with her. She has lyrics to a new song she will release the minute you say goodbye that will crush your manhood and make you undateable. It will be a million seller. Game over. Welcome to hell.
Face it, you still want to go after that wishbone in the turkey, don’t you? That, and you still crave the cranberry sauce in a can. (my bad, as that last one is me) On that last note hope you all have a happy, if not totally crazy, Thanksgiving with friends and family.