Back to work and I already need a vacation from my vacation!


After a week away on vacation I am here sitting at my desk wondering where the heck the time went? If feels like just yesterday I was getting on a plane to Florida to go visit the family and spend a few fun days at Disney World and Universal Studios. Now here I am sitting in a fog all clueless and dazed. Did I really ever leave here? I set my “out of office” notice on my emails. My desk was cleaned off. All my work was caught up. Yet, I feel like a mess and am buried in work. Was all this just a dream? Happy post-vacation! I feel as if I need a vacation from my vacation. I’m already tired. Like I just had a forced enema. I need my bed and a few more days off. Ugh!


This is so ever true. The first day back at work is a day to drink coffee. Tell your coworkers where you were at and what you did. Check up on Facebook to get all caught up on your friends drama. Surf the net. Take a long lunch. Actually leave on time and go home to collapse. I thought a vacation was supposed to re-energize us?

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How can one possibly have so many emails sitting in the in-box? My “out of office” said to contact “so and so” on any questions or requests. I am now only half way through the 1,536 emails that I need to follow up on! Also, half of them are spam messages. WTF? How did they get past the spam filters? Oh, I love the ones that want a proposal and need it asap, like four days ago, and sent three follow up emails asking why I have not responded. I want my mommy…..


This is pretty much how I felt while off for the week. Except the red bar started on Sunday night with me. I think we might be a little work stressed over here in the good old USA!


Now that I have had about five cups of coffee it’s all coming back to me. I do remember a bit of what I do around here. Still not ready to pick up the phone yet and speak to anyone. Just communicate by email for the first few days back. Oh crap, I just received a message that my email in-box is full and running out of memory space. I better start hitting that delete button.


Ok, I do have to admit that I am such a big kid that I still get a kick out of going to the Disney parks down in Orlando. Even if I did spend a good part of the week down there with my parents. Even though at times I wanted to strangle both of them. I do love my parents but there were some moments that made me want to impale myself on something. Ever notice that as we get older our parents start acting like bratty children?


Thank all things holy for EPCOT! You can drink here! You can get drunk all around the world! While we were here it was the Food & Wine Expo, which also features Brews Around The World tour that my dad and I partook in. Oh yeah, we were pretty rocked by the time we left after drinking from Canada to Thailand and beyond! So many different beers to try. We hit the World Showcase part of the park as soon as it opened and stumbled out after the sun went down. I think the real meaning of EPCOT for us boozers is – Every Person Carried Out Toasted!


Pretty much the way I felt after being a gluttonous pig all week. Tried putting on my pants this morning and have to wear them with the button undone and the belt at the last loop. Why do we do this to ourselves while on vacation? It’s not as if the calories and fat grams don’t count and magically disappear! Way too many Mickey Ears ice creams. Way too much booze. Hello treadmill and salads!


Why does everyone think I am supposed to be all cheery rainbows and riding unicorns across the sky while throwing candy at everyone? I don’t know about you but coming back to work after a week with the parental units is stressfull enough as it is. Don’t talk to me for a few days, and don’t ask me to go to lunch. Unless it’s a liquid lunch. And you stay silent. One word about work and you will end up on a milk carton!


Probably one of the better reasons to come home from vacation. There is still nothing better than sleeping in your own bed and pooping in your own crapper!  Admit it – we all feel this way!

Rottenecards_30331190_43bjjn97ptThis pretty much says it all. Work. We all usually dread it but it’s a necessary evil! Plus, it pays the bills and pays for our next vacation. Those things aren’t cheap you know!


I wonder what it must be like now for this guy to have to punch into work each day and have a mouse as your evil boss lord? Welcome back to the Rat Race!

46 thoughts on “Back to work and I already need a vacation from my vacation!”

    1. Hey Fearless!

      It was a brutal first few days back! I still felt hungover from EPCOT! That, and beat up from dealing with the parents for a week!

  1. I’ve stepped out of the rat race for a year, but how well I remember. The most stressful 2 weeks before vacation in a futile effort to get everything done and maybe not come back to a living hell…only to come back to a living hell for at least another 2 weeks. But spending time with the parents isn’t full-on vacation, so…

    Quick tip-arrange your vacation so you return to work on a Thursday. Just two days to get through before really diving in. It eases the pain slightly. Welcome back…and good luck!

    1. Hey Jill!

      I hear ya! No mattter how much planning and work we get done ahead of time it never seems to matter. There is always a pile of work waiting when we get back. Also, it seems that many don’t even pay attention to the out of office message on my email!

      I need another vacation!

  2. I haven’t been to those parks since I was like 5 or 6. One day, I’d like to go back. The brew tour thing sounds amazing. I would have been loving life on Untappd with that!

    I always made sure, in the past, with vacations to play one or two extra days after getting home before going back to work. I did that so I could make sure to be ready for it. I never understood ending a trip on, say, a Sunday and then going in Monday. I’d never survive!

    1. Hey PJ!

      If you ever have a chance to go back check out EPCOT during the Food & Wine Expo ususally in Oct and Nov. Do it on a Monday or Tuesday as we did. So much to eat and drink from many countries represented. Most every one has beers from their lands and it’s a great way to sample a lot in one place. Just make sure you are not driving afterwards.

      Yes, I need a fre more days off!

  3. HOWLING, Phil.

    Loved, “I do love my parents but there were some moments that made me want to impale myself on something.”

    Erm. Just a couple of teeny, tiny observations for you:

    1. This is written in the present “I am at work; I am looking at; ACK! I just got…” tense. Be prepared with a salable lie reason for your choice of first person, present tense should your boss follow your blog, and…
    2. Since you commented on my blog that you were composing your post in the nude (hubba, hubba on that!), which color of the pie chart were you in when you crafted this literary gem?

    Okay. I’m slobbering on my keyboard over the visual of you going all commando. Welcome home!

    1. Hey Gloria!

      I love making a lady slobber!

      I don’t think my boss reads my blog. Hope not. He might put me to work writing articles for our company! That, or think I am mildly insane.

      As for the color? Skin tone of course!

  4. Oh boy…coming back to work is brutal. But it sounds like you went on a trip (walking, sight seeing, eating face off) instead of a vacation (laying on beach, relaxing, drinking liver dry). Although the beer and wine festival at Epcot sounds absolutely fabulous!

    1. Hey Cowboys!

      I’m not a beach vacation type of person. I need to be doing stuff and exploring. If there is booze and food along the way even better! I get bored if a vaction is just laying around. I’ll do that when I am old and decrepit. Even then, I think I’ll still be a partying kind of old dude!

  5. Hey, what are you doing commenting on other people’s posts in the buff and not mine? *pouting* I mean, at least be shirtless! GAH

    Very funny post, my friend. Laughed a lot.

  6. Yay Disney! I’m the same way, so much fun! Glad you had a good time. And EPCOT is wonderful for the drinks and food. Nom

    I used to take the day after a vacation off. So I could ease into it. Honestly I am both impressed and surprised you were completely hands off with your work email. I usually check t once a day on vacay, helps me relax and not be so anxious. I hope you can ignore people for a few more days…

    1. Hey Jean!

      Well, I got back to woerk and it took two days to fully get through all my email. Ugh!

      I’m still a big kid and love the parks. Disney and Hollywood Studios are fun, but EPCOT is Disney for adults. Drink around the world!

  7. I can relate!
    1- Returned from Paris on Sunday, and I am still starting at my coffee cup as if waiting for it to fill itself or something. I live in Norway, so can’t blame jet lag.
    2- Some Norwegian Scrooge bashed Halloween in our local paper calling it an American mockery, and I’m too tired to care. Pre-vaca I would have responded cleverly, witty, and made sure I shoved the Halloween is European bit up his ass.

    Welcome home! You’ll come around….we always do.
    PS took our three to Disney for the first time this past summer, along with my parents. I had NO IDEA the Magic Kingdom doesn’t serve alcohol. NEVER AGAIN! Good to know Epcot is still a possibility!

    1. Hey Kimberly!

      I drank a LOT of coffee the first few days back at work. Just catching up on everything now, including blog comments.

      I don’t care what people say, I still love Halloween.

      Oh yeah, EPCOT and Hollywood Studios serve up the booze, but not Disney World. We did Disney first as we needed to get boozed up at the other parks after dealing with all the people and crying screaming kids!


  8. Welcome home! I’m sure all those warm fuzzy memories of your special moments with your parents will soon come flooding back … right??? *speaking as a parent, of course*

  9. Oh Phil! You’re hilarious, but I really do feel your pain! I remember the stress of returning to work to catch up on email… now I am self-employed and NEVER seem to catch up on email lol! Oh the irony. Glad to have you back though, does that help? 🙂

  10. Yes, you pay dearly when you get back from vacation! This year, I’ll be going the week before Christmas so I hoping things will be so slow when I get back it won’t matter so much! Great memes!

    1. Hey Cathy!

      Thanks so much for dropping by and commenting!

      It does seem as it gets harder to recover from vacations as we get older doesn’t it?

      I also take off the week of Christmas as it is slower that time of year for what I do. Then we start it all over again!

  11. Hey Phil,

    Wanna say, but don’t wanna say, Welcome back! The truth is, we do need a vacation after vacation. I’m laughing but relating to the chart. My stress level begins to rise on Saturday, just the thought of returning ruins my last few vacay days.


    1. Hey Carica!

      Thanks! I tried to fight off the stress with a lot of beer but still had some the day before coming back to work. I think we are all work stressed out!

  12. Ha, ha ha, that was so funny. The trick is as follows –
    A. You book the first week as a vacation.
    B. You then book the second week as the ‘relief from vacation’ week, where you familiarize yourself with your own toilet, bed, food etc.
    C. Then you take a couple of extra days to get your body back into the rhythm to go back to work. There you have it! A complete vacation.

    1. Hey Rum Punch!

      Glad you got a good laugh at my stress!

      If I could take off three straight weeks like you spelled out I would be fully relaxed!

  13. I just dropped in from Susie’s halloween party and loved this vacation tale.

    Once my husband took all four kids camping, leaving the dog and me in the house alone because I ‘had to work’. The first day I cleaned, and the place stayed. that. way. for the rest of the week. I ate chocolate and nobody asked for it. I went the to bathroom and nobody wanted to know what I was doing in there and when I was coming out. I ate quiche for dinner, and nobody demanded that I pick out all the green things before they would eat it.

    Best damn vacation of my entire life.

    1. Hey Barb!

      Thanks so much for dropping by and commenting! Susie is the best for hosting these blog parties. I’ll be sure to check out your blog too!

      Now that sounds like a great vacation for you! I hope wine was also involved in that “staycation”!

  14. Welcome back, Phil!

    Oh I remember this well. Even when my vacation time wasn’t spent going away anywhere, I still felt like I needed another week just to catch up. And don’t get me started on the away messages. “I will be gone from so and so date. Please forward immediate inquiries to ______.” I started to wonder why I put up messages at all!

    Well, look on the bright side. At least it’s almost Friday!

  15. I can totally sympathize! I just returned to work a few weeks ago after a great vacation at Cedar Point with the family. NOT fun to come back to chaos.. I’m the only one that does my job. 🙂

  16. That was funny. My wife left on vacation today. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go on vacation again, unless I get my blog going.

  17. I agree! Just a couple of days at some quiet place before getting back to work, so you could gradually get used to cooking your own food and making your own bed again…and stop drinking beer during daytime:)

  18. I used to think my husband was cookoo pants to check his email on vacation, but THIS is why he does it. Geniuses that don’t even bother to READ the Auto-Reply and then get upset when they think no one responds. (And actually someone DID respond, because some hoodoo magic that auto-forwards messages from certain people TO certain people, but the clients aren’t familiar with that person and yadda yadda yadda.) so he MANUALLY forwards, tells people to call the dumb-dumbs so he doesn’t come back to this. Now we solve this problem by NEVER going on vacation. Or when I do I bring my work (kids) with me. And they don’t have email 🙂

    1. Hey Joy!

      Oh, I had a bunch of those geniuses too. They keep sending follow up emails as to why I did not reply. Hello! I was on vacation! Read the bounce back!

      Never going on vacation? LOL! I need my time away from the office or I will go nuts!

  19. When I get back from a vacation and need a vacation from my life, I distress at Le Petite Retreat Day Spa near Paramount Studios in LA.

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