Yeah, I’m in a mood this morning. The day started out so good. Bright and sunny out. Crisp cool air and dry outside. Hot cup of coffee on the way to work. Then a bunch of nimrods have to go and piss me off. Sometimes that’s all it takes. Just a few little things that push your buttons the wrong way. Pet peeves aside, some of these annoyances I experience on a daily basis get me to the point of going all Chuck Norris on people. These sorts I am referring to are the “Cell Phone Savages” as I have named them in my mind.
Oh, we all know them. We have all rubbed elbows with them at times. Maybe each of us have a little bit of the “savage” traits in us. As soon as I was walking down the sidewalk heading to the subway I got trapped behind these two morons looking down on their phones tapping away texting and oblivious that there were people behind them trying to get by. They shuffle along at half speed side by side and never walk in a straight line making it impossible to get by. Eff that. After a few minutes I just made a bee-line to the street and blasted around them like a wide receiver torching his defender on game day.
Oh, then I was faced with the clueless one looking at his phone not paying attention and
coming right at me. I am a bit evil with these subjects. I refuse to deviate from my path. At times I even lower my shoulder a bit. It’s always fun to see the startled look on their face as they realize they are about to have a full body crash. Bonus points if you knock the phone out of their hands. Extra bonus if the phone opens into multiple pieces when hitting the ground! Alas, he avoided a collision when he looked up at the last second. I kept walking with a grin on my face.
Now the topper. I hate these people the most. The ones that will keep talking on their cell phones while in an elevator. They don’t care that you are trapped in a slow moving box with them. If they can hold a signal they will keep on chatting away. I got stuck with one of these today and almost slammed his head against the door.
“Hey, can you still hear me? Yeah, I’m in the elevator. Can you still hear me now? Now about that proposal. No, I had meatloaf last night. You still there? That game was terrific last night. Hello? Yeah, turns out that chick was a dude. Hello? Hello?” Is there such a thing as elevator rage? I had it.
Almost forgot to mention the inconsiderate slobs that won’t turn off their phones while at the movies. Really? You can’t go two hours without looking at your email, texts, or sports scores? One of the most annoying things is sitting near someone during a movie and they keep turning on their phone to look at it. They don’t actually turn it off but put it in silent mode. Except that the damn screen is bright as a flashlight and right in your field of vision. At times I want to dump my bucket of buttery popcorn on their heads, but I love my popcorn too much to waste it!
I’ll admit that I do have a bromance going on with my phone. It’s a part of me and I am lost without it. When the battery dies I go into mourning until I can find a charge somewhere. I almost break out into cold sweats. I think of my phone as a real person. I must have my phone at all times on my being, yet I am considerate of others around me and try not to be a “Cell Phone Savage” when using it.
Am I the only one who feels this way? Or are we all becoming Savages?
( I was texting, checking facebook updates, and looking at email the whole time while drafting this post. Don’t judge me. )
i have street rage too. But in my neighborhood its not cell phone users but entitled F.O.B.s. They take up entire stair cases leading to the train that is about to pull in to the station. Or they have they kids running the width of the stairs. Its nerve-wrecking! Brent witnessed me shove a certain woman who allowed her 2 year old to set her pace going up the stairs during rush hour.
And with regard to the phone usage- i am with you 100%. Only i am not built for head on collisions. I walk out of their way and hope they step in dog shit.
LOL! Street rage! I hate those people on crowded stairs that won’t pick up their kids up or move aside to let people get by. I see that happen in the subways all the time. Also, you can throw the poop at the street zombies! Thanks for reading and commenting. Luv ya!
I feel your pain. It is almost impossible to go on the Tube or walk around London without these self absorbed numpties. Thankfully I don’t live in London, just visit from time to time.
The BBC also discussed on the news this morning about new cinema etiquette which some cinema chains are looking to introduce. This includes switching off your phone.
Up the revolution I say. We need to stand up for our rights to walk down the street in safety filbio310.
Hey Guy! Most cinemas here do ask to turn off phones, but there are no “phone police” cracking heads! I do through this stuff a lot lately walking around the streets of NYC. La Revolucion!!!
I will get really ugly….really quick when I come across people like this. Or even worse…those who text and drive. I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to swerve because someone who is texting and driving is coming into my side of the lane. I decided earlier this week that I was not going to swerve any longer. I’m going to take one for the team and hopefully not become paralized or even worse….dead. Then I can sue them! :0 lol
Agree with you Bonnie. People who text and drive or use a handheld whilst driving gets me into a rage. So many children have been knocked down because of these idiots.
Laws banning this need to be strictly enforced, which currently they are not.
Guy – there really need to be tougher laws and penalties for this. I see it all the time while driving. Just as bad are the women I see applying all their makeup while driving and looking at the little mirror on the sun flap.
Yeah, the texting and driving thing is outta hand! Someone is going to be killed. Don’t take one for the team! Just call the cops and report their plate number! Hmmmm…..I would take a broken bone or two for a big payout.
I am part savage based by your description, however I am so good at it that I don’t disrupt those around me or the flow of traffic. I’m a beast among savages, the alpha. But yes, I know what you are saying, when I see those puppy savages, I as the alpha desire to tear them to pieces. The worst are the elevator and toilet talkers. I courtesy flush often and make my sounds extra loud and forceful when some jerk is talking while I’m trying to take a sh*t…..
Angel! That is too funny. The bathroom cell phone guys are also pretty bad. Do they really need to have a conversation while doing the #2? It can’t wait five minutes? Hahaha!
Phil SMASH!
I sometimes think I’m becoming some sort of agoraphobic maniac because lately, everytime I’ve gone to the city, I can’t help but notice so many rude, annoying morons. I’m specially sensitive when it’s about slooooow people or those that don’t show manners. And it drives me nuts, specially if it’s while using public transportation. But instead of keeping that rage inside, I just embarrass them in public.
Examples are, arrogant ladies wanting to enter the train before people are trying to get out? No problem! I tell her she should’ve learnt manners at her age. Guy picking his nose (and eating what comes out of it) with delight at the bus next to me? No problem, I ask him politely to stop picking his nose until I have to get off, causing all the bus to laugh at him. I just hope that if more people made them aware of their stupidity, they would just stop showcasing it in public.
But, if I have one enemy, it’s those who play music on their phone while at the bus, without headphones. EEEEEW.
Hi Andrea! Thanks for the terrific comment and for reading my blog! Wow – you just don’t hold back! I do feel the same as you. The slow people, rude train riders, and nose pickers all drive me nuts too. (and gross me out). I had a guy on the subway today playing his music on the phone. I just moved to a quieter car. Those idiots will always be rude.
Anyway, thanks again. I just followed your blog on Google +. Good stuff!
Haha! Maybe I wrote too much, but I really enjoyed reading that other people think like me when it comes to this, it’s almost therapeutical, so thanks to you!
Not at all. I appreciate the comments and feedback! We all have pet peeves that make us go a bit maniacal at times!
nice entries,,24 hours with cell phone,, its dangerous right????
Thank you for the comment. Yes, people are crazy with their cell phones sometimes! Maybe dangerous too.
You really nailed it! Those people are so rude and clueless. I don’t know which is worse. I once had to listen to a woman listen to her messages while in a dressing room trying on clothes. Either try on the damn clothes or listen to your messages out of range of human hearing.
Hi Lauren! I’ll admit I am attached to my phone but I don’t impose it on people around me. The worst is when people have full conversations while on the toilet bowl in a public bathroom. LOL!
I never understood why people talk on their cellphones in bathrooms. It’s bad enough I have to listen to the noises coming from their stalls. I have no problem with people being attached to their phones. I’m also a phone addict. I just hate cellphone users who are space hogs and like to have an audience for their one-sided conversations.
I try to make extra noise around them to annoy! Yeah, I can be obnoxious when I need to be. 🙂
Especially in the bathroom I will keep flushing the bowl!
Thank god it’s not just me that thinks like this. Mobile mania has gone absolutely mad. I too sometimes get caught up in it’s web of deceit. Many times when my mobile phone rings, I’ll jump over the bed, then over vacuum cleaner, followed by a dive into the kitchen and do a double somersault just to find out that it’s a spam email. I then spend the rest of the day cursing the stupid phone and putting ointment on my damaged limbs.
This post surely did bring up the thoughts and attitudes I have about mobiles.
Hi Rum Punch! Thanks for the comment. I have done the same thing. Bumps and bruises to prove it! What drives me nuts is when I hear a phone ringing out in public and think it’s mine, and then everyone looks at their phones too as we all have the same ring tone!
My husband is guilty of texting while walking and talking in the elevator, his cell phone is always attached to him 🙂 I use my cell phone, but not when I am out and doing things, I am too big of a klutz to not walk into something!
Hey Frugal!
I walk into enough things to begin with even without looking at a cell phone! 🙂