After spending the last week and a half melting down in Orlando, Florida, for a business trip and then over in Ocala visiting family the last thing I wanted was to come back here to NYC and deal with even more heat. I mean, sure, there was a big difference coming from a place where it was 90 degrees and over each day, and humid, to relatively comfortable 75 degree dry temps here in the city last night. It was so nice I even hit up one of my favorite cafes to sit outside with a bite to eat and use the free wifi in the cool breeze. What I did not expect was to enter the gym later on to get in my training and be greeted with a sauna as the air conditioning was broken! Really? Are you freaking kidding me? WTF!!!! ARGGGGGHHH!!!! Still, I sucked it up and did my workout. As far as life problems go this was way low on the pole. Maybe the extra sweating helped burn a few more calories.
It did get me thinking about a bunch of things that seem to get broken here in NYC that really piss me off at times. It’s just damn annoying. Also, why do things seem to be broken the one time you really need them? Here’s a Top Dozen list that seems to come to mind right at this moment. Hey, the list can always be changed to reflect each day’s broken annoyance.
1) Air conditioning broken in the gym. No one really wants to work out in a double swamp ass environment!
2) ATM broken. Why does this always happen when you just need some cash in a pinch. Then stuck using another bank’s ATM and getting charged that ridiculous fee.
3) Elevator is broken in your building. Why does it always seem to be not working when you come home and have a bunch of packages you are shlepping. Or even worse – need to take a massive crap or pee and are barely holding it in? That walk up six flights of stairs really sucks!
4) Subway countdown clocks broken. Sure, it’s a minor annoyance but I have come to rely on those damn things to judge whether to wait for the local train on a sweltering subway platform or transfer downstairs to an express. I know – white people problems.
5) Water fountain broken. Now I know most people cringe at the thought of using a public water fountain but when in the gym I like to fill my water bottle up with cold water, not some lukewarm piss. So now I am stuck paying for a bottle of water.
6) Vending machine broken. I am about to put my fist through the glass. This damn machine has had an out of order sign on it all year now, yet it’s full of drinks! I can see them mocking me. All cold and refreshing. Sigh…..
7) Penn Station broken. This is a pure joy to experience – NOT! Nothing is more disheartening than walking down into Penn Station to catch your train home and being greeted with a sea of people looking at a train board that says all trains delayed. Good thing I only use the LIRR to go visit family out there now as I would never, EVER, commute to the suburbs.
8) Seat broken in movie theater. Ever get to a movie you want to see a bit late and have to scramble to find a good seat? Of course the seat I sit in is broken and is either shifting sideways or rocks way to far back. What the heck? Did the Incredible Hulk sit here and wreck it? Of course by this time there are no other decent view seats left.
9) Computer system broken when you really need it. Why does this always seem to happen when checking in somewhere, or trying to rent a car? Are you kidding me? Technology is supposed to make things easier, not give us agita!
10) Escalator is broken. Always the upward elevator. Always when you are tired, hot, and carrying some heavy bags or something. Or drunk. It never fails. Worse is when it’s one of those long-ass escalators that seems as if you need to scale a building to get to the top. Lungs going to explode!
11) Taxi air conditioning is broken. One of the worst, and always when its hot and muggy out. You ask to put it on and the cabbie mumbles something about it not working or it is already on. Huh? Then why am I melting back here sitting in barely moving traffic across town. I want cold air dammit!!!
12) Toilet is broken. Has to be the worst. Stuck in a public place having to take a huge one and scrambling to find a crapper to use only to find an “out of order” sign on it. Start saying your prayers as you contemplate using the sink!
As I stated before, this list is malleable and flexible as we all have different things that annoy us when broken. It just always seems to be at the worst times too. What would you add to this list? What are your “broken pet peeves”?
I agree with the out of order toilet being the worst, especially when you realise you’ve taken the mutha of all shites and you only have ONE tissue left in yer handbag.
Hello Gillian!
Thanks for dropping by my blog and commenting!
LOL!!! Love your comment! That’s like taking a massive dumo and realizing there is no toilet paper left on the roll. Panic mode!
Good list – have traded heat wave at home for Mississppi heat and humidity – having a blast catching up and cable man is on way for install of wireless Internet!
Hey Clay!
Either way it sounds like you are sweating. That’s ok – it’s a heat wave here in NYC too. Swamp ass weather!
Seems to be a global issue. Just hate it when ATM’s are out of order – one of my worst!
Hey Lanthie!
Yeah, and then we are stuck paying extra fees at some other ATM! It sucks!
Great list, Phil. Nice to know I’m not alone!
It seems that whenever I go to McDonalds here in Australia, the hand dryer in the bathroom isn’t even working. And there aren’t even paper towels.
WHAT THE HELL IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!
Do you really think I want to be using their filthy toilets only to walk away with germ-infested wet hands?? HELLL NO.
Next time, I’m holding it in!!!!!
Hello Thuy!
Glad you like it! I hate that when in the bathroom. Gotta wipe on your pants!
Hey, sometimes you just gotta go!
I’m thinking that NYC must be a lucrative place for a handy man to live. Everything out of order means never out of work.
Hey Karen!
You got that right! Plumbers and AC guys must be secret millionaires here in NYC!
I hate when the subway screens aren’t working!!! Then I think back to a few years ago when we didn’t have them at all, and we never knew when the damn trains were coming. Now, I am so spoiled. At our train entrance, we have them at the top of the stairs and you can walk by on the street and see when the trains are coming. I swear–it’s totally cool. This is such a luxury 🙂
Hey Tracy!
I do rememebe a time when we did not have those signs. We are spoiled now. I also remember riding the old Red Bird subeway trains. Talk about hot and no AC! Yuck!
I hear ya on the AC being broken at the gym. I had this awesome workout last week only to walk into the locker room where I thought someone had left the door open to the sauna. It was so hot! But, I needed a shower and to get ready for an appt. so I managed.
Hey Emily!
I never take showers in the gym. Always too hot, and always too many wierdo old naked guys wandering around in there. Too creepy.
I live right down the street so I go back to my own place and shower in comfort!
Phil,,,, you always make me smile! I’m proud of you for getting through your workout. Maybe you burned extra calories because the air was so warm without any a/c? 🙂
Hey Christy!
Glad my blog posts give you a laugh! Good to know someone gets my warped sense of humor!
Nothing like working out in a sauna! Feel the burn!
oh yes… in the dull burbs when the air breaks down, someone is magically there. But then those couple of others… I’ve visions of the infamous scene from ‘Bridesmaids’. … Make sure the plumbing is sound before you book the party place after the ‘I Do’.
Hey Peggy!
That Bridesmaids scene is epically funny! I was choking on my popcorn when I saw it!
A few times when desperate I almost wanted to do that……
The picture where it says use sink had me cracking up. Now I am really looking forward to going to NYC, not! Thank god we are staying in one of those high class well air conditioned hotels, lol.
Hey Susana!
Not every thing is always broken but it does happen at the worst times! Hope you are staying in one with a working toilet!
Just the thought of the smell at the gym had me cringing. I don’t know how we survived driving in our parents car, stuck to the seat and are siblings. We are lucky to be alive! The signs on the water fountains gave me a good laugh!
Hey Lisa!
I know exactly what you are talking about with the parent’s cars. I remember those hot summer vacation trips!
Don’t make me turn this car around! 🙂
I particularly hate broken ATMs, but I also have a problem with people that appear to be unable to use them, that take about ten minutes possibly pressing each and every option on the ATM menu just to see what it does – and then puts a second card in so that they can repeat the process.
Mike
Hey Mike!
Thanks for dropping by my blog and commenting!
LOL – that is one of my pet peeves. You almost want to smack them in the back of the head – with a brick! It’s also when you are in a rush that this happens!
These all add to existing frustration, but it really is a matter of perception. You never notice when your gym’s AC is working, or when you really need the computer and it works fine. I used to be convinced that the backgammon game on my phone was programmed to roll the dice in its own favor to make the game more challenging (in other words, it cheated). I searched online to see if other people had this problem and people more patient than I had analyzed the sitch–the games weren’t cheating–we just think they are when we’re losing.
That being said, I’ve written the MTA several times about the escalator at a certain station–when they had a token booth clerk there and one escalator broke, they’d make sure that the one working one went up. But not anymore since they got rid of the booth. But there’s a building right outside that exit that houses several doctors’ offices including an outpatient cancer treatment center. When I pointed out they were making cancer patients climb 80+ steps, they started addressing the situation.
Hi Jen!
Thanks so much for dropping by my blog and commenting!
I know what you mean by the cell phone games. I think they are rigged to make us crazy! Solitaire drives me nuts at times.
That was a great idea with the notice you sent to the MTA. You guilted them to do the right thing. Bravo!
BTW – it is now five straight days my gym’s AC is broke, and it’s 90 outside! They claim it’s being serviced! Ugh!
I think I have had about half that list happen to me this last week. And it always happens at the worst time!
Hey Matt!
Sounds like you had a bad week! Booze helps. Unless you are in an un-airconditioned bar with a broken toilet.
There’s nothing worse than having something broken that you take for granted every day, like cool air or an elevator. It’s in those moments I realize how good we have it MOST of the time. haha
xoxo,
Jules of Canines & Couture
http://www.caninesandcouture.com
Hey Jules!
We are kinda spoiled aren’t we? Still, when it’s 90 outside I want it cool wherever I am! Don’t even get me started on broken toilets – that gets messy!
I have an ‘out of order’ for you, but it isn’t in NYC – it’s on the highway. Experienced this on the road trip…. some one tooling along in the left lane at the posted speed limit. Not annoying if there is no one in the right lane – I can simply go around, even though passing on the right is not correct. Even more OUT of ORDER is some BOZO driving at the posted speed limit (or slightly above) in the left lane matching speed with a truck or another vehicle in the right lane creating a road block. Out of order, You betcha!
Hey Clay!
Hope you are enjoying your summer vacation!
I just came back from Florida. I feel your pain. Now we know why road rage happens!
At least you don’t have any dietary issues.
I certainly feel your pain and can commiserate about broken escalators. The escalators in the subway are a killer in this heat or anytime of the year. Which is the really tall one? I forget where it is. But I remember it being broken more than working.
Hey Lauren!
I think that one is in the 50’s on the east side. It is way underground. There are a few like that here that I have had the joy of trudging up when broken – in the summer! It sucks for sure!
Check you out…Mr Badass…getting through a workout in the dead of summer with no air conditioning. Hope you hydrated!
As for the whole broken elevator…suddenly thought of Big Bang Theory…more specifically, the one that explains how the elevator became out of order to begin with. 😉
Hey Kitt!
I was a sweaty mess by the end of that workout. Wish I could have trained naked! 😉
We actually saw that Big Bang episode the other week where they showed how the elevator broke!
I couldn’t do the no air conditioning, it has been 95 with nasty humidity all week. No thanks 🙂 I have to have it nice and cool in my house when I work out, the gym with no air conditioning would have been a no go!
Hey Foodie!
I am the same as you. If a place has no AC on when it’s hot out I will bail and spend my time/money elsewhere. Even at home I like it cool, and will spend the extra money on the electric bill for it!
What’s really broken are the people whose job it is to keep things running.
Hello Astro!
That’s another way of looking at it! They wait too late until it’s broken then take forever to fix it!