After spending the last week and a half melting down in Orlando, Florida, for a business trip and then over in Ocala visiting family the last thing I wanted was to come back here to NYC and deal with even more heat. I mean, sure, there was a big difference coming from a place where it was 90 degrees and over each day, and humid, to relatively comfortable 75 degree dry temps here in the city last night. It was so nice I even hit up one of my favorite cafes to sit outside with a bite to eat and use the free wifi in the cool breeze. What I did not expect was to enter the gym later on to get in my training and be greeted with a sauna as the air conditioning was broken! Really? Are you freaking kidding me? WTF!!!! ARGGGGGHHH!!!! Still, I sucked it up and did my workout. As far as life problems go this was way low on the pole. Maybe the extra sweating helped burn a few more calories.
It did get me thinking about a bunch of things that seem to get broken here in NYC that really piss me off at times. It’s just damn annoying. Also, why do things seem to be broken the one time you really need them? Here’s a Top Dozen list that seems to come to mind right at this moment. Hey, the list can always be changed to reflect each day’s broken annoyance.
1) Air conditioning broken in the gym. No one really wants to work out in a double swamp ass environment!
2) ATM broken. Why does this always happen when you just need some cash in a pinch. Then stuck using another bank’s ATM and getting charged that ridiculous fee.
3) Elevator is broken in your building. Why does it always seem to be not working when you come home and have a bunch of packages you are shlepping. Or even worse – need to take a massive crap or pee and are barely holding it in? That walk up six flights of stairs really sucks!
4) Subway countdown clocks broken. Sure, it’s a minor annoyance but I have come to rely on those damn things to judge whether to wait for the local train on a sweltering subway platform or transfer downstairs to an express. I know – white people problems.
5) Water fountain broken. Now I know most people cringe at the thought of using a public water fountain but when in the gym I like to fill my water bottle up with cold water, not some lukewarm piss. So now I am stuck paying for a bottle of water.
6) Vending machine broken. I am about to put my fist through the glass. This damn machine has had an out of order sign on it all year now, yet it’s full of drinks! I can see them mocking me. All cold and refreshing. Sigh…..
7) Penn Station broken. This is a pure joy to experience – NOT! Nothing is more disheartening than walking down into Penn Station to catch your train home and being greeted with a sea of people looking at a train board that says all trains delayed. Good thing I only use the LIRR to go visit family out there now as I would never, EVER, commute to the suburbs.
8) Seat broken in movie theater. Ever get to a movie you want to see a bit late and have to scramble to find a good seat? Of course the seat I sit in is broken and is either shifting sideways or rocks way to far back. What the heck? Did the Incredible Hulk sit here and wreck it? Of course by this time there are no other decent view seats left.
9) Computer system broken when you really need it. Why does this always seem to happen when checking in somewhere, or trying to rent a car? Are you kidding me? Technology is supposed to make things easier, not give us agita!
10) Escalator is broken. Always the upward elevator. Always when you are tired, hot, and carrying some heavy bags or something. Or drunk. It never fails. Worse is when it’s one of those long-ass escalators that seems as if you need to scale a building to get to the top. Lungs going to explode!
11) Taxi air conditioning is broken. One of the worst, and always when its hot and muggy out. You ask to put it on and the cabbie mumbles something about it not working or it is already on. Huh? Then why am I melting back here sitting in barely moving traffic across town. I want cold air dammit!!!
12) Toilet is broken. Has to be the worst. Stuck in a public place having to take a huge one and scrambling to find a crapper to use only to find an “out of order” sign on it. Start saying your prayers as you contemplate using the sink!
As I stated before, this list is malleable and flexible as we all have different things that annoy us when broken. It just always seems to be at the worst times too. What would you add to this list? What are your “broken pet peeves”?