Let’s observe shall we? Ah, here comes St Patrick’s Day. A day where we here in NYC observe all types of partying people from all walks of life taking a nip of the whiskey, eating some badly made corned beef and cabbage, and washing it all down with green tinted beer. That green beer which is usually the frat boy special known as Bud Light, Coors Light, or some other no name brand. Either one they use though it always has that distinct look when too much drinking and partying occurs and the streets turn into a green sea of fluids mixed with chunks of despair. Not to say that I have never been there too. I have been known in the past to proclaim myself a wee bit o’ the Irish and partake in plenty of imbibing with my fellow lads and lasses! I’m sure those around me did observe the Irish rainbow being spewed forth out of my gullet when my belly could no longer handle the abuse on occassion. Oh look, there are me Lucky Charms I had for breakfast!
As usual, here is what we have to look forward to in NYC on March 17 –
We will observe frat boys projectile vomiting in the streets, in cabs, in alleyways, on stoops, in the bathrooms, in the actual bars, and basically anywhere there is a floor close by! Oh, you sexy lads, get on with your bad selves! Shit me I’m kiss faced!
We will observe many women dressed as trashy leprechauns, Irish lasses, and bar wenches (not that there is anything wrong with that, mind you). Many will fall down sloppily drunk. Many will be poured into cabs. Many will be sick and puking all the next day. Top o’ the mornin’ to ya!
We will observe some of the drunken masses getting into rounds of fisticuffs! All that green beer brings out the warrior in a select few who wish to challenge any chap with bare knuckle boxing that bumps into them, or accidently spills some of that fine green brew on their $10 KMart “Kiss me I’m Irish” t-shirt. Erin go bragh!
We will observe a bunch of drunken hookups over many green beers and whiskey shots! Oh, young drunk love! Tonsil hockey with complete strangers will turn into regrettable sex. The “Walk of Shame” will be so pronounced the following day as we view those stumbling home all raggedly looking with the same vomit stained St Patrick’s Day t-shirt or goofy green outfit on from the night before. Kiss me I’m Irish, or drunk, or whatever!
We will observe a few of our coworkers who normally don’t drink on a weekday, or at all really, come into the office sporting massive hangovers. Amateurs! It is kind of fun messing with them. Banging into their desks, making loud noises, and seeing them a putrid shade of green and ash. Irish today, shitface tonight, hungover tomorrow!
So, how many of you out there can relate with any of these five observations first hand?
Happy St Patrick’s Day to all! Enjoy but just don’t trip over a shamrock and hit your head on a blarney stone ya drunk bastids!
I’m not much of a drinker but I certainly enjoy watching others make asses of themselves on this holiday! Instead we tend to celebrate with food, Irish Stew, bread and yummy desserts. Happy St. Paddy’s Day!
Hey Emily!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
Good prose Phil, love the cartoons. Kind of hard to believe that the whole purpose of St. Patrick’s Day is to celebrate St. Patrick bringing Christianity to Ireland, its been long road since there…
Hey Peggy!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
Yup, seems most forget what this day really means.
I asked a fellow blogger – from Ireland – what it was like in Ireland on St. Pats Day and she replied that it was like a festival atmosphere – but nothing like it is celebrated here in the US – with drunken abandon (I was there once, too). I have seen all of those and more – like perhaps people being scooped up by the authorities and released when they are sober – just saying – but it’s like Vegas all over America on 3/17.
Hey Clay!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
Yup – its a drunkfest all day long here in the USA!
I’m not out there in the middle of things participating and people watching like I used to be (getting old, I know) but you sure did just transport me to my college days!
Hey Karen!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
I see many people well past college days drunk as a skunk here in NYC on this day!
You get serious points for the leprekhaaaaannnn! And for the post. Hilarious!
Hey Mary!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
Happy to give you a good Irish laugh!
Green beer, not green whiskey!
Hey Fearless!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
Green beer + green whiskey = green all over the floor!
Wishing you Phil and all your readers a wonderful St Patrick’s Day.
As someone from Irish parents (both from Dublin) and a holder of an Irish surname I feel very honoured to call myself half Irish. I must admit that whenever I go to the US virtually everyone claims some Irish connection. Surely they can’t all be Irish? But many of you party like them. Enjoy the craic.
Hey Guy!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
It’s one of those days here when we are all a wee bit Irish!
I’m not much of a beer drinker so I don’t drink the green stuff. And somehow adding green dye to Diet Coke would quite be the same — it’d be more pukish colour.
But definitely enjoy the people watching though.
Happy St- Paddy’s Day. 🙂
Hey Suzanne!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
Green dye and diet Coke just made me a wee bit nauseous!
Ah yes, the finest ass-hattery day in America. *blots tear* it’s beautiful. NOT.
Hey Beth!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
National Drunk Douchebaggery day for sure!
Ah. The difference between the Irish and the wannabes. The Irish hold their drink better. And don’t go HALF so kitsch as ye all do about this.
It’s like the My Little Pony version of Irishness, if you fed it magic mushrooms in its synthetically-dyed leprechaun beer…
Oh good grief! *grins*
(also, as long as you say St Patrick’s or St Paddy’s day, you’re fine. But if you carelessly slip into the most disgusting ‘St Patty’s day’, a true Irish would use their finest culchie right-hook to obliterate you SO fast your head would spin)
Hey Lizzi!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
Now let me go have a bowl of me Lucky Charms then take a shower sudsing up with me Irish Spring soap, then have a nightcap of Jameson’s with my Kiss Me I’m Irish t-shirt on.
Well, here I am on Regular Guy’s blog shocked that I’ve been able to visit. As a writing duo, we cut the blogs in half. Your blog going by way of Inion’s list. Her call not mine! You’ve beguiled my sweet Inion with your food porn & wickedly-witty humor!! lmao. But seeing how she’s in the editing mode and has begun the process, I’ve had to take her blogs for a short time. Once again, brilliant post, that had me laughing my ass off, while shaking my head in agreement! It’s what’s brilliant about your posts Phil. You pull no punches & tell it like it is! This is by far the most unique St. Patty’s Day post I’ve read so far so I will be sharing this on line to spread the laughter my friend!! Great job! 😉
Hey Inion/Mathair!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
So happy you liked this. I think you two will have to battle it out to take over reading my blog. Seems only fair. I appreciate the support!
Ha,ha,ha! You describe it perfectly. I love the idea of banging into hungover coworker’s desks. 🙂 We had all of the above last weekend at the annual, “Blarney Blowout” here at Umass Amherst. It was pretty bad, if you haven’t heard. It was all over the news. My husband is an official for the Town of Amherst and, wow. The amount of damage the students did to property, sexual assault, throwing bottles at police, blocking ambulances from getting to the injured, etc. It’s really too bad that they are giving Umass such a bad name. I went to Umass and since I went they have worked endlessly on changing the Zoo Mass reputation. It’s a reputable school that is much tougher to get into these days and they have a great Honors College. Lucky for the town, today the students are gone on Spring Break!
Hey Brickhouse!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
LOL at Zoo Mass! Sounds like it’s worse than Zoo York on this day!
I’ve partaken in a few of these nights in my time. If I recall, copious quantities of Guinness stout tend to be imbibed, leading not only to drunkenness but also to a volatile bowel the next day.
Hey Gary!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
I think we have all been there at one time. We’re all guilty of being too Irish on this day!
Oh i can remember a few of my St Patricls Day failures where i ended up throwing up green beer. Yuck! I stayed at home and chilled out this year. Dallas has a HUGE parade and festivities for this occasion and its always so fun. oh well maybe next year…
Hey Holli!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
Puking up green beer is no fun. Unless you can start drinking again!
Hehehe Hope you have a fun day, Phil — your post is silly and perfect for NYC 🙂
Hey Christy!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
Thanks for the love!
Oh God, I can’t stand being drunk. I hope I’m never drunk again. I do like to imbibe, but not to that extent. Not any more. Yuckie poo poo poo!
I think green beer is interesting but I’d much rather drown the shamrock – in small amounts.
Happy St. Pat’s to you my friend and watch where you’re walking.
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
Hey Patricia!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
I have been drunk way too many times to remember on this day. The sidewalks were full of St Paddy’s day chunks and green reminders where I live. Yuck.
Saw the most amazing thing on Saturday. We were in Moscow, and there were three parades. The first was tens of thousands of people, some with flowers in their hair, some carrying Ukranian flags. Most of those marchers looked determined and scared. They said their party pieces, rolled up their flags, and disappeared into the subways. The second was much smaller, but with better props — a thousand or so men wearing matching red jackets, carrying industrial-issue red flags, and singing rousing WWII military songs. Most of them looked determined and angry. Their speakers had a PA system that rock stars would envy, and some really impressive staying power as they spoke for hours. And hours. And more hours. The third was hundreds—no, really, HUNDREDS—of people wearing green shirts/green hats/shamrock-painted faces, carrying Irish flags, and singing “Когда ирландские глаза улыбаются” (When Irish Eyes Are Smiling). Some were on (green) stilts. Most of them looked really happy (maybe because their beer wasn’t green, although one girl did have a bottle of scary green vodka…).
Hey Barb!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
That must have been an impressive thing to witness. Lots of craziness going on over in that part of the world nowwadays.
I was waiting for you to do a St. Patricks post. You didn’t disappoint.!
Hey Cindy!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
Pleased that you approve! I aim to please!
Happy St. Patrick’s Day and top of the morning to ya! ‘Hope you survived the mayhem and excitement in the city? My step-mother is half-Irish so I know well the luck of the Irish!
Hey Victoria!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
Yup, I survived and managed to avoid the vomit bombs on the sidewalks!
I just want to say “ditto” to all your points. Although I was not in the heart of the clusterfuck that is St. Patrick’s Day in Chicago, our neighborhood pubs and bars were CROWDED.
Do you guys get a lot of Irish Dancers too? I feel like there is a parade on every street.
Hope you guys had a good holiday! I’d love to see it in NYC one year.
Hey Jean!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
The parade here is a huge tradition. Well, we do get a lot of drunk fat guys doing the Irish jig out on the streets. Not a good sight.
This is the kind of post I was missing… I hope you have had fun on paddy´s day… I did but I drank very little…
Best wishes, Aquileana 😉
Hey Aquileana!
Glad you enjoyed my gooofiness! Hope you had a great St Paddy’s Day! 🙂
Aye, Phil…I hafta say, them’ins yer talkin’ about are tha fakes. No real Irishmun pukes in an alley. They BOKE, donchaknow?!
Happy St. Paddy’s!
Hey Hazy!
Hope you had a terrific St Paddy’s Day too and with a wee bit of the fun o the Irish yourself!